2011 not starting out too good...

NewMrs07 · January 2011

I really hate to be a whiner but it really isn't going that well so far...

In terms of the job, I like the work but people there seem to be kind of disorganized and I hate going there and not having anything to do, then having too much at once. It wouldn't be an issue if I was there all day or could just pick and choose the hours that I'm there, but I need to stick to a schedule b/c of Adrian. The other day I was told to go home early b/c there wasn't anything to do in the am... thankfully work did arrive before I went home, but I was mad. I mean, I'm not going to leave A in daycare, drive all the way there, and then go home after 2 hrs!! I won't be making any money that way. And I can't make up hours another day b/c I can only work a set time on certain days, something I negotiated at the beginning.

The other thing I negotiated was the hourly rate, which was agreed upon by the publisher and me. But I was dumb and didn't get it in writing, so now he has "forgotten" what that was and when I reminded him, he played dumb and thought it was high. Which actually it isn't, considering it does not cost them a thing to have me there... I have to bring in MY computer and they don't pay me any benefits. Hell, they don't even have bottled water for their employees! I was pissed. Now, I don't know if he's going to honor that rate or what. Since I don't have anything in writing I'm kind of screwed. If he says he'll pay me less then what? My options are to suck it up until I find something else or quit, which I don't want to do obviously. My supervisor says the publisher wants to talk to me about my rate tomorrow when I go in, so I'm already bracing myself for him to say it's going to be less. Even though he agreed to more!!! I honestly don't know what to do about that. I mean, the job seems unstable to me already... I'm so bummed.

Then we have the issue of DH's job. He doesn't like it and wants to move somewhere else. I told him if he gets a much higher salary we can consider moving, but we just got here and I wanted to stay another year.

Then finally we have the issue of TTC #2. DH is not on board 100% and I'm 40 yrs old already, going on 41. Even my parents are not encouraging me to have #2. I got so mad at my mom the other day. I had left some baby things at their house for safekeeping, incl. an expensive infant car seat, and she just gave all that stuff away last week!! Without even asking me!! I was really mad but mostly was so sad, like those things symbolize baby #2 for me, I was planning on using them, but it's like they didn't even think about that. I was hurt. Especially since I feel like no one has my back in any decisions or dreams I have lately. That really hurts me but when I mention it, no one takes it seriously.

Anyway, that's my vent for this week. Adrian is doing well thankfully, but he's very intense lately and doesn't give me a break. I guess the combo of dealing with an iffy job, a crazy toddler, a not-so-helpful husband that works longs hours and clueless parents are making me lose my mind. Honestly sometimes I think about going to see a therapist. Of course DH would laugh about that too. I sure hope this year gets better b/c so far so good

robynlesley · January 2011

Cristina,

I'm so sorry that you're going through all this. I'm mad at your mom for giving away YOUR belongings without asking. And if you do have your 2nd child (and I hope so, since you want one), she should replace EVERY item she gave away with a newer and better one. Let me at her... I'll make her do it.

I can empathize with the crazy toddler. Taking care of Aaron is draining. Add a move to the mix and my mom's issues... I'm going to need to find a new therapist, since my old one is by where I used to live and she doesn't have evening/weekend hours. So I feel for you and I really hope things change for the better soon.

vanverth · January 2011

You supply your own computer??? I guess they are not a place that worries about confidentiality or you stealing any ideas. Stand your ground on the wage per hour. It sucks that you do not have it in writing but dig in your heels a little.

rsd12 · January 2011

Oh man, you have a lot going on at once. I hope things get better soon!

stever · January 2011

I'm so sorry, Cristina. I really hope the job improves and that DH and your folks starting listening to/supporting you.

And, FWIW, I would be super pissed if my folks got rid of stuff without asking me first.

Left Hug

mtnrider · January 2011

No, not the best start to the new year Sad

I can relate to DH not wanting a second child. But it sounds like he's on board somewhat right? Mine is adamantly opposed to it. So maybe you have some wiggle room and can talk him in to it. As for leaving A at daycare when you don't work a full day, he still benefits from the socialization. I drop S off at daycare when I have a short work day, he loves it there. But I understand wanting to make enough money to cover your daycare costs...our daycare is $45 a day and I just dropped one day because I don't work that day and can't afford to lose money.

Peppernut · January 2011

Totally poopy start. I am sorry.

They'd better not screw you on the money! I hope they don't!

Did they outright give it away, or can you ask whoever they gave it to to give it back when they're "done?" That's a lot of expense to have to go through when you get pregnant again... orrrr you could have your parents get you new stuff then. It was really insensitive of them, I am sorry.

I hope things get better soon!

fiazo · January 2011

When you do talk to your employer, be very psoitive in your manner of speaking that he did state that pay rate. Don't let there be any doubt in your voice. If he doesn't want to give it to you now, you need to make him work out another bargain & this time MAKE him put it in writing. He is a shithead for doing that. Bastard.

Your mom has no right to do that. What if you wanted to sell it if you decided not to have #2 or maybe give it to a friend of yours. I don't blame you for being in a pissy mood. Hope things turn around for you.

ateytelb · January 2011

Never heard of bringing your own laptop to work...

Hope things get better soon!

lynnshey · January 2011

That's a lot to deal with at one time - I'm so sorry you are having to work through all of this at once. I agree with pp - stand your ground with your boss and remind him what a great worker you are and how lucky he is to have you. You might need to remind him of everything that you supply that they don't pay.

And shame on your mom. What was she thinking? That was beyond rude and I agree - she needs to replace them if/when you decide to have #2.

choirgirl · January 2011

lynnshey:
That's a lot to deal with at one time - I'm so sorry you are having to work through all of this at once. I agree with pp - stand your ground with your boss and remind him what a great worker you are and how lucky he is to have you. You might need to remind him of everything that you supply that they don't pay.

And shame on your mom. What was she thinking? That was beyond rude and I agree - she needs to replace them if/when you decide to have #2.

I'm so sorry. I have to run, and didn't think I'd have time to reply but then I saw Lynnshey said exactly what I wanted to, on both counts.

Grr. Good luck!

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