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Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
cooperme2871
member
Anyone not close with your sibling(s)?
cooperme2871
member
I have two brothers and one slipped away from the family years ago by choice so we do not have a relationship. The other one and I were close until recently and we have had a fallen out. Anyone else not have any close siblings? Does it have any affect on your decision of how many kids to have?
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Re: Anyone not close with your sibling(s)?
i have all brothers and i am closest with the one that lives the farthest away and i am currently not really speaking to another even though he lives the closest to me. but i can not imagine being an only child, when our father passed away, we were in it together. and even with the drama that is going on, when it comes down to it we still have each others backs. no one else understands where i come from and where i have been except for my brothers.
even if they end up hating each other i want my daughter to have a sibling.
I have a half brother and a step brother and step sister. My half brother and I were raised in the same household (same mom) and the step siblings are my mom's husband's kids. We are not close and have not spoken in a couple of years. I have not spoken to my step brother since I graduated from high school 11 years ago and haven't spoken to my step sister since my wedding almost 5 years ago. Nothing happened, we're just not close. My half brother is into drugs, etc. and I tried to save him to no avail. He texts me now and then for money.
I am my dad's only child and he and I are really close.
DH and I are one and done and I don't know if it's my experience shaping it or other factors.
I have two sisters and two brothers. I am close to two and tollerate the others. One piece of advice my mom gave me was to look at each "fight" closely and decide if it was worth losing a relationship over. So far I haven't ran into such a fight just a bunch of bickering over the years.
And to answer your question I still want a big family. Yes mine fights but when times get tough we are there for each other.
I have a younger sister and brother. Don't speak to either. Well, my brother like once a year. They both live in my parents house 15 min away.
I will 100% postive, never speak to my sister. Haven't for years. I don't get her, I don't like her, I barely know her, and I have no interest in her whatsoever.
My brother is just a lot younger than I am- 9 yrs. I left the house when I was 18 (for college) and he was 9- and I never really got to know him well. I don't have huge issues with him, just not much in common, he's way involved in his own life and that's the end of it.
It only affects my one and done status as far as I'd never have another one just so E would have a sibling. I don't want anymore kids, I never feel a wavering, and I know firsthand that there are no guarantees that siblings will even talk let alone love each other. It's great if they can be BFF's, but I don't feel the least bit bad not giving E a sibling. I remember as a kid never wanting one- and E never shows any interest in babies, so maybe he will feel like I do. Since it's not like you can give it back, I'll just keep the one I have thanks.
I have one brother who is 5 years younger than me. We are not close at all - not in a fight or anything, just never been close. Not much in common. I've tried reaching out, tried to have a relationship, tried to get him to be a part of DD's life, etc., but he makes no effort and I'd probably never hear from him again if I didn't make the effort.
In all honesty, I would be fine with having just one child, because my relationship with my brother sucks and I never grew up knowing what it meant to have a sibling. We were just strangers living in the same house. But DH is super close with his brother and sister, and so I see how good it CAN be - and I'd love DD to have that.
I have one younger brother, and we are not close. The older he gets the easier it is for us to communicate but with 10 years age difference it has always felt more the a mother/son relationship then a sister/brother.
DH has 3 siblings a brother 10 years older, a sister 6 years older, and another brother 4 years younger. NO one in the family is close to his sister and I think the only reason he is close to the older brother is because they own a business together.
It has def. changed my outlook on having kids. We are expecting DS in March ad DD is 13 months old right now. I see how close our nieces and nephews are (8 of them all about 2 years apart) and I really want that for my children. I know it will be harder on us right now in the younger years but im hoping it will be worth it in the end. We are also stopping at 2! I loved the idea of DH's big family until I spent a few years around it lol now we are both content with just 2!!
It's not that we don't get along but my brother and I are sort of like born strangers. We live in the same town, yet never visit each other or call each other up. We have nothing in common and I don't know anything about his personal life so there's no room for small talk when we are together. We only get together for special dinners which involves our parents for like a birthday or something. He's also extremely private and never really gives more that one worded answers to what he's been up to. I don't even know where he lives in town....he's never invited me over. It started that way when he was a teenager going through a rough patch involving drugs and alcohol...he withdrew from everyone and never fully came out of that behavior towards me when he sobered up. I only get tid-bits of info. from my mom, and even that's limited.
I guess he has a girlfriend and they've been dating for a year now and I have only met her once back in July...over dinner involving our parents. I have no idea if they are still together at this point.
I have invited him over and have tried to get him involved with my daughter, but he has seen her a handful of times and he is still sort of unsure about her. He's not really a "kid person" so it's always an awkward meeting for them each time. He never calls or writes to ask how she's doing, never requests any photos of her...nothing. It's like the fact that I have a daughter doesn't even register with him, he just doesn't seem to care, and I think that's sad.
I have one sister and she and I have never been particularly close. I can count on one hand the number of times I've spoken with her in the last year. We're just very different, and always have been.
DH is not particularly close with his sister either.
Yes, it has affected our decision on the number of kids we want. We're solidly in the one and done camp. We don't feel the need to give DS a "playmate" or a "instant friend" because we were neither of those with our siblings. We'd rather be able to give him a full ride to college and provide him with every opportunity in life.
Ethan Michael - 12/21/09
Norah Jewel - 2/26/14
I grew up with one sister, and I gained a step-brother and step-sister when my mom got married last year. Let's just say that I am just as close with all of them - which is not at all. My sister and I were really close growing up, but somehow drifted apart around high school. We've always been total opposites, and it just finally became enough that we had nothing to talk about. We get together from time to time, but usually we plan to get together, and she cancels last minute. She has made it very clear that her own life is way more important than visiting with us.
DH has an awesome relationship with his sisters, though, so I know it can be a wonderful thing. We're one and done, because that's what feels right for our family.
Oooh oooh oooh MEEEE!!! I have an older brother who HATES ME!!! He's 44, I'm 28 so there is a huge age difference, but he never got over no longer being the only child. I haven't spoken to him in almost 5 years and I'm okay with it.
I have a sister who is 3 years younger than me. She is okay for the most part, but we are not close at all. Like my older brother, I always hated that my father had other children. I always felt I should have been his only child. For that reason, I've never been close to my sister. I also have a 15 year old brother. We have nothing in common besides our dad since he's so much younger than me. I don't speak to him at all because he, my dad, and his mom were talking about me in a crazy way. I won't be disrespected.
Sorry about tb glitch...yikes!