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Feeling

kasey9kahnekasey9kahne member
in Trouble TTC

I am fairly new here.  I have read posts on here for a long time but haven't really posted anything until this week.  I have been ttc on and off for 10 years.  I married young and wanted to start a family right away, but the best laid plans never work out.  My ex-husband was very unsupportive and come to find out part of our fertility problems.  When we discovered that, I gave up on trying to have one myself.  We got divorced a few years ago for other reasons.  I met my wonderful supportive husband  3 years ago.  We have been trying to have a baby for almost a year.  We immediately went to a doctor since I already knew I had issues.  I do not ovulate without Fermera.  That's a little about me. 

What I really want to know is if any of you ladies have ever had the feeling that you were not suppose to physically have a baby?  Even in highschool I can remember feeling like I was going to be a mother, but never feeling like I was going to be the one to have the baby.  Now that I continue to start battling this infertility again, the thought keeps arising.  I am not sure if it just me being pesimistic about becoming pregnant or some higher calling telling me I am suppose to adopt. Has anyone ever experienced this?

 Thanks in advance for any thoughts or stories.

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Re: Feeling

  • McMahan314McMahan314 member

    I've struggled with these thoughts and I think its only natural to feel this way.  On one hand, I cant imagine NOT being a mother.  Its the single thing I want most in this world.  On the other hand, maybe its not meant to be.  I married 2 years ago at the age of 28 and we have been trying ever since.  I know deep down though that I am meant to be a mother and if we dont conceive a child naturally...adoption will be in our plans....we just arent anywhere near that step since we finally have a firm diagnoses of PCOS and am starting my first round of Clomid this month.  Good Luck in your journey and keep positive thoughts! 

     Im in the Dallas area as well...may I ask have you seen a specialist or RE?

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  • ChicagoWeded2007ChicagoWeded2007 member

    No, I actually focus more on "being pregnant" than having a baby.  I know it is weird.  But also, I was pregnant once and it felt nice... I'd like to have that feeling again.

     If you are feeling that way about yourself then perhaps you could pursue adoption at the same time as fertility treatments.

     


    Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. -Philo
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    Baby N conceived after 1 miscarriage and more than 2 years of TTC. Diagnosis was low sperm count. We found success after 3 months of anastrozole to increase DH's testosterone and one IUI.
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  • illinigalillinigal member
    I have always wanted to be pregnant and be a mother.  I have never felt like I wasn't supposed to have kids, but talk to me in a couple years....
    TTC #1 since October 2008. Dealing with MFI.
    IVF #1 w ICSI in July 2010 = BFN
    IVF #2.1 in Oct 2010 converted to IUI = BFN
    IVF #2.2 w ICSI in Dec 2010 = BFN
    Met with new RE in new city on 1/31/11.
    IVF #3 w ICSI in April 2011. HPT on 5/9 = BFP!
    Beta #1 on 5/10 (10dp5dt) = 99.4. Beta #2 on 5/12 = 284. First u/s on 5/26. = Fraternal TWINS!
    Twin boys born & lost on 8/16/11 at 18w1d due to PPROM & preterm labor.
    IVF #4.1 in Jan 2012 converted to IUI on 1/7/12 = BFN
    IVF #4.2 w ICSI in Feb 2012. Lupron on 2/10. Stims on 2/18. ER on 2/29- 7R,6F
    ET scheduled for 3/5/12- nothing to transfer :(
    Dh seeing new MFI uro & Dh starting meds- June 2012.
    IVF #5 in Dec 2012 = BFFN.
    IVF #6 planned for Spring 2013. Praying for our take home baby/ies.
    **P/SAIF and P/SAL always welcome!**

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  • blueberries8blueberries8 member
    I think that in general the inability to get pregnancy naturally  (especially if you've also miscarried) can lead to the feeling that your body doesn't want/isn't capable of sustaining a pregnancy. I feel this way all of the time, but I try to dismiss it as an emotional response to my infertility and not reality. I like to think that by pursuing fertility treatments I am not fighting against my body, but rather just giving it some help.
    IUIs #1-3 (1x unmedicated, 2x Clomid) = 2 BFNs, 1 m/c at 7w3d
    IUIs #4-6 (injects) = 3 BFNs
    IVF #1 = BFN
    FET #1 = BFN
    FET #2 = BFN
    IVF #2 = BFP, b/g twins lost at 20w due to partial abruption/PPROM
    IVF #3 = c/p 5w2d
    Long-shot Clomid/Prednisone cycle before next IVF = BFP, our beautiful, healthy girl born 6/26/13!
    ~~
    TTC again March 2014
    FET #3 - May/June 2014     -     all embryos arrested before xfer - back to the drawing board...
    IVF #4 - July/August 2014 
    beta 1 (11dp3dt) 220, beta 2 (13dp3dt) 671, beta 3 (19dp3dt) 10762
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  • kasey9kahnekasey9kahne member

    Thank you for your thoughts.  It is good to know some of the things I am feeling are some what normal.

     I go to DFW Fertlility and she is a RE.  I love her.  I have been to others in the past and I never felt like they truely cared.  She got pregnant herself using Femera.  It makes me feel like she can truely understand. 

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