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LIAngel
member
Update to: Friend who fell on the ice and had a cryptic FB status
LIAngel
member
So remember yesterday I had posted that she sent me a FB msg that she needed to talk to me and I was thinking she was going to lecture me about not calling her after her fall?
Here is how that went today: I called her and she told me what happened (how she fell and everything- she went to the ER that night and then went to the Dr 2 days later cause she was still in pain. So blah blah blah I get the whole story, not just the FB version. Then she says: "Well the reason I had to talk to you was because I was really hurt that you didn;t call to see how I was. I mean people from work were calling me. My friend from FLA called me. I was just very surprised that you didn;t." So I said "well from FB, it looked like you were doing better cause you even said you were in one of the comments (someone asked if she was okay and she replied that she was doing better). I had no clue you went to the Dr and he said you had bad whiplash from the fall."
Then she says "yeah but didn't the fact that I went to the ER clue you in that it was more than just a little slip?" I said "i just thought you went as a precaution (people do do that) and again you seemed to be okay from your FB updates and I had no idea that you weren't even at work all week (she stayed home these past few days) i thought you were posting all this stuff from work.
So I apologized (which I don;t really think I needed to but I just wanted to end it), Then I said "what would have happened if I wasn;t even on FB this week at all, how the heck would I have known anything was up?"
What's done is done (or not done as the case be). So now I know that if she trips and stubs her toe I should immediately call her and ask if she's okay.
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Re: Update to: Friend who fell on the ice and had a cryptic FB status
I am a runner, knitter, scientist, DE-IVF veteran, and stage III colon cancer survivor.
Well put.
I don't know whether to use
or 
or 
Seriously, she fell on some ice. It's not like she was in a serious car accident. And then to feel the need to lecture you about not checking on her the way she thought would appropriate? Oy.
ETA: Elizabeth said it perfectly. lol
I agree!
Even if I felt that way I wouldn't go out of my way to dramatically call somone out for it. And... the "I need to talk to you" but delaying the actual talk was 100% passive aggressive drama queen!!!
I guess I'm like epphd.
WAYYYY too old for friends like that.
Now that my friends and I are all older we've each taken at least one turn in falling off the face of the earth for a while.
Kids, jobs, school, etc.
I'm not saying it's an excuse to be a bad friend but I am saying that true good friends let it slide unless it's a constant thing.
I was a horrible friend while in school and in so far over my head. I'm so grateful no one jumped my case and that everyone's just been glad that I'm "back".
Total score: 6 pregnancies, 5 losses, 2 amazing blessings that I'm thankful for every single day.
Wow... I don't understand people sometimes! I'm impressed with all of her other friends who called... I honestly probably wouldn't have done more than you did! It wasn't like she was admitted to the hospital for a week, she fell on some ice!
This is ridiculous. It's very nice that many people called. She needs to appreciate that for what it is and NOT use it as a marker about those who didn't.
Really, when it comes down to it- if you have time to post on FB, then it's really not THAT serious.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Well said. Your friend is being ridiculous.
Um, yeah. Just for the record, if I ever fall on the ice and go to the ER - you don't need to call me.
She expects A LOT (read: too much) from her friends, including their attentiveness to FB. If something serious happened to me, close friends would get a text at the very least - not a status update. Sorry you had to deal with this!
Because we're fancy like that.
this
I mean after I had my lap surgery 3 yrs ago, she didn't call me to see how I was but I wasn't like "OMG! She didn't call me. Boo hoo" I just figured "Okay she's busy with work and I know she'll call me in the next few days. People do have lives. The world doesn't revolve around me". She ended up IMing me 2 days after my surgery and while we were IMing she said "So when is your surgery?" (this was before we were on FB). I wrote "LOL! My surgery was 2 days ago". So see I thought it was funny- I totally did not expect her to remember my lap date. She felt bad, BUT I didn't launch into her about how she didn't call me as soon as I woke up from surgery.
Oh and I did get the "Well if you fell on the ice ended up in the ER, I'd call you" argument.
I love this. Perfect.
Seriously? This girl needs to get a life.
TTC #1: IUI #2 = BFP , Betas 550 (16 dpiui), 1523 (18 dpiui)
Hypothyroid, LPD, FSH 13.0, TTC 2 yrs B4 BFP
TTC #2: FSH 23, AMA, IUI 1, 2, 3 = BFN, IVF #1 = MC
IVF #2 = BFP - Betas 194 (14dp2dt), 366 (16 dp2dt), 841 (18 dp2dt)
(vanished twin ~7 weeks)
Ditto everybody! ! ! !
I don't do drama or needy.
"When it comes to sleeping, whatever your baby does is normal. If one thing has damaged parents enjoyment of their babies, it's rigid expectations about how and when the baby should sleep." ~ James McKenna, Ph.D., Mother Baby Behavioral Sleep Center, University of Notre Dame