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1st Trimester
Why I want to be a 50s housewife.
I wrote a nice little note on facebook with some cute little pictures to explain why I think the 50s were better and how I'm going crazy (and so is my daughter) with DF being home all the time. I set the privacy to EVERYONE so anyone can read this without being my friend. 
I think it's mostly the pregnancy talking.
https://www.facebook.com/notes/noire-bella-luna/why-the-50s-were-better/477491657460?notif_t=like
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Why I want to be a 50s housewife.
I LOVE THAT! And I agree 100% so does my DH. I am a stay at home wife for now, I was thinking about getting a job for extra money but I have been realizing how the He77 am I going to work through m/s and exhaustion? My DH is in the Army so he does go to work everyday and I sleep till noon when he comes home for lunch clean up and get dressed if I feel like it, if not he understands.
I believe women should take care of all household duties with the help of her SO when needed. Men bring home the bacon and the women serve it
I know it sounds odd to some women but society has formed this idea of what an ideal woman should do and that is not take care of her man and all that jazz. But I think if your SO is working all day to support you the least us women can do it comfort him when he gets home and cater to him for all his hard work. 
Thank you for sharing that!
Yes!
I'm a house wife too, I love it!
I just read your post - very much an over generalization! I am the messy one in our relationship, DH is the one who does the deep cleaning in our house. I have never once cleaned a toilet in the time we've lived together, it's been over 5 years now. My dad was also the one I grew up seeing doing all of the cleaning - and that was despite that my mom was a SAHM up until I was 16!
Also, I bet if you ask real people what their lives were like in the 50's - they weren't all prancing around in pearls and dresses. I think that is more the stereotype coming from TV shows at the time. Just like in years to come our grandkids might look back to our TV shows and think that we were all promiscuous
There's actually a very good book about this by Stephanie Coontz: The Way We Never Were: American Families and the Nostalgia Trap.
If you still have a grandmother available to describe their actual week, it's not so glamorous. And like with another poster, both of my grandmothers did have to work on and off while they had children. And of course prior to the 50s, everyone worked. The housewife thing was an incredibly brief invention as well as being much more rare than the stereotype.
My husband doesn't "work all day to support me" anyhow, so that's hardly an issue. He decided to go with a minimum wage, part-time, no benefits creative field that fulfills him instead, and I have no problem with that. I was already financially self-sufficient by the time we met and have no interest in turning into a parasite. We're both happy with what we've chosen for ourselves, no one is stressed and hating each Monday morning, etc.
I am sure there are a lot of women who would (and do) enjoy being a SAHM, but I think I would go crazy if I did that. I would like to not have to work full time, though. But who knows, maybe I will change my opinion once the LO is here. I am thankful that I live in a society where we as women have many options to choose from for our careers, be it in the workplace or as SAHMs.
ETA: One of my neighbors is a SAHM to three very young children, and is sooo stressed out. I definitely wouldn't want her job, lol. I think I need to work a little in order to get out of the house and maintain my sanity.
I think this is overgeneralizing the whole 50's housewife thing. They did not have as many of the conveniences that we have, and a lot of women HATED it. Sure, being a SAHM is great for some women, but for me it doesn't work.
I've been throwing up daily, and from Thanksgiving to Christmas I was nauseous all day long while teaching. But you know what? You deal with it. I don't mind being pregnant and working, or leaving my child in the hands of capable adults while I go to work. I am incredibly fulfilled with my job. I know I hate being a SAHM because I do it in the summer. There's only so many playdates you can do before your mind goes numb. There's only so many times I can clean my kitchen before I'm sick of the whole thing. There's about two weeks when I enjoy SAH and then I'm ready to go back to work.
If SAH works for you then fine, but I don't think it's ideal for everyone.
The thing about the 50s is that many families were far larger than what they are today. My grandma worked 2 jobs while also being a mother of 8 to support their farm income. I don't think it was all pearls, pumps, & aprons back then for the average person. I also come from a long line of non-SAHMs, so to me, getting pretty for my husband everyday and scrubbing the house in a dress makes me want to gag. Give me a back-breaking job and an educational daycare over that any day!
Edit: But I also bring home 50% of the bacon, and hubs does 50% of the cooking and cleaning...
I bring home way more bacon than DH does so this doesn't fly whatsoever for us. I'm not saying it's easy with m/s. but guess what i go to the bathroom and come back like everything's fine because that's part of my responsibility.
Before having DS I was so anti-SAHMs. Only because the ones around me have messy houses and kids with little to no manners. I really don't like these families, so I had a very skewed opinion.
When DS was born with his birth defect and discharged from the NICU needing many medications and tube feedings, I was not confident in any of the childcare providers that we had chosen. So, either DH or I had to stay home. DH's company stepped up to the plate with financial and medical benefits that made it a no-brainer. I quit my job and I love being a SAHM, even if I was forced into it.
However, even if DH works 10 hours per day, commutes an hour both ways, he's still expected to do his share around the house. He cleans toilets, does laundry, cleans the kitchen after I've cooked dinner, etc.
I never do my hair - it's pulled into a ponytail because my 1 year old still likes to pull my hair. I don't wear makeup because I think it's dumb to waste money on cosmetics when nobody cares.
My mom's mom raised 4 kids by herself, so she worked FT. My dad's mom raised 5 kids in upper Michigan while SAH, but when they moved to CA she had to start cleaning rich people's houses in order to help my grandfather make ends meet. I have yet to meet anyone who has told me the 50s were June Cleaver-y.
Best.Book.Ever
Based on everything you wrote here, I think you and I would get along fabulously.
Nothing about being a SAHM is anywhere near as glamorous as what you seem to think it is based on your FB note. It is hard and stressful work. I'm not always glammed up for my hubby when he walks in the door, in fact I'm never glammed up for him - I'm LOLing at the idea that I have time to get all dolled up to meet him at the door with a kiss because that's the time of day the kids are quiet, the housework is done, and dinner is already on the table. Yeah, usually that's the time of day my son is at his most unruly. And sure to having the time to always have a spotless house - you can send your 9 year old outside to play while you clean. I can't exactly tell my toddler, "you go find something in the neighborhood to entertain you, I've gotta get the house ship shape." With all the interaction and care he requires, I do my best to keep my house tidy but it isn't always easy with him coming behind me and tearing everything up again (not to mention the dog hair). I think I do rather well. I'm quite the neat freak, so I declutter every night and I do keep my kitchen in top shape; but bathrooms aren't always spotless and I don't get to vacuuming everyday and I have the worst time keeping up with dusting. I have one day a week reserved for laundry and I literally spend ALL DAY doing it and no, I don't do it all while wearing a gorgeous sundress, pearls and sunglasses. These tasks are work, they're not easy. Is it worthwhile, yes. Is it glamorous, no. Am I sittin' at home in my clean and shiny house that smells of roast beef and chocolate chip cookies thinkin' up creative ways to service my bacon-earning hubby when he comes home whilst the children play merrily and politely at my feet? Heck no.
I can't imagine housewives in the 1950s had it all so great either, especially in an age where it was the norm for husbands to do literally NOTHING to help at home besides dole out a spanking here or there. We've gotten our ideas of the golden 1950s off of television and the likes of June Cleaver - but she was an actress, with perfect lighting, makeup and a wardrobe that was handpicked to flatter just her. And those cookies she's pulling out of the oven just in time for the Beav to come home from school? Yeah, they're props; and probably plastic props because they had to shoot the scene about 20 times. Want a real idea of what life in the 1950s was like? Ask your grandmother.
This is one of the most vomit worthy things I've read in a long time.
let's do lunch.
I wish the option to be a SAHM was more accepted today. The minute anyone hears me say I want to be home full time raising my children I get dirty looks and the "oh you're taking the easy way out" comments. Kiss my a$s. My husband has no problem with it, so why should anyone else. Its a lot harder work than most people could actually deal with.
And as for this post, it was written in fun, not as a college thesis FFS.
I think most of us get that. But the OP said she wasn't a SAHM and was wishing for a glamorized, ideal lifestyle that didn't even exist in the era she thinks it did. In my reply, I wrote that I AM a SAHM and it isn't at all anything like that. It isn't any easier puking all day long while you try to keep your interested toddler away from it than it is to run to the bathroom all day long at an office. The point is, she's wishing for something that doesn't exist. That's what I was trying to tell her. Though I sympathize with her frustration with a fiance who appears unmotivated at best and downright lazy at worst - but that's not exactly something that'll be fixed by staying at home herself. That's an attitude/marriage issue that may require counseling.
As far as SAHMs being looked down on. I don't really get that impression. I've never once felt looked down on by my working mom friends because I stay at home. But I imagine that has more to do with who your friends are than anything else.
Considering it isn't friends saying these things to me, I'm sure you just haven't run in to the wrong sort of people if you haven't heard that take on SAHMs. I also wasn't implying that this is a mind-set anyone in this thread was expressing, I was making a general statement about my experiences with the "label" of SAHM and the reactions I've gotten to it.
I can respect your opinion on this. I get that there's a lot of encouragement for moms to go to work and a lot of families certainly need 2 incomes to survive, and in some families the dad is the stay at home parent and mom is the bread winner. I guess I just don't feel pressured by friends, family, or even society at large to fit any one mold. My choice is mine and screw anybody that has a problem with it - it isn't their business is it? Sure, there are always going to be the "mommy wars" and the question of "whose way is better" will always get people riled up. The point I'm trying to make is that the grass is always greener. But working moms make sacrifices. And stay at home moms make sacrifices. There are pros and cons to each side and to glamorize either choice is unfair to those that have made that choice or had the choice thrust upon them, KWIM? I'm sorry you've gotten rude responses to your desire to stay at home. I'd respond to them with something snarky along the lines of, "oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize I was required to solicit your opinion on the matter before I made my decision." Because your choice to work or stay at home is nobody's business but yours, your SO's and your child's.
Not least because of the Enjoli earworm...
There is certainly plenty of stigma to go around. I even agree that the SAHM is an overall less-respected choice these days than working. Although even worse, DH is going to be a SAHD and you can imagine the grief he's getting over that. Especially from the other men in his family.
Thing is, going back to the OP, the fiance wouldn't have been any more helpful then than now. Less, actually. I'd fantasize about getting him up off his butt rather than regressing myself to a time when I didn't dare to be bothered by it.