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I just totally lost it while getting my B/W done

busterbeaglebusterbeagle member
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

I wa so proud of myself for holding it together so well yesterday, but I woke up this morning just knowing today was not going to be so easy.  It's been a rough day overall, but I just went to get some B/W done and it got so much harder.

There was a tiny little girl, probably about two years old, there with her mom.  I smiled at her and teared up a little at first, but when I was getting my blood drawn, I completely lost it.  I hate needles so I always close my eyes while I'm getting my blood drawn.  I guess the little girl was getting hers drawn at the same time as me, because she started crying in the next room over and calling out "mommy, mommy."  It was totally unbearable and I started crying.  The phlebotomist tried to calm me down, saying the little girl was just being tested for allergies, and asked if I was going to be a mommy soon (probably based on the tests I was having done).  I shook my head no, and she started apologizing and telling me everything would be okay.  DH rushed me out of there ASAP, but I'm still crying just thinking about it.  It felt so much like my baby was crying out for me and was probably the most painful thing I have experienced since finding out for the first time.

BFP#1 11-26-10 MMC 1-13-11
BFP#2 6-8-11 Eleanor Beatrice born 2-15-12
BFP#3 9-4-13 Benjamin Lee born 4-28-14

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Re: I just totally lost it while getting my B/W done

  • Fallon621Fallon621
    AWWW sweetie I am so sorry that you had to go through this.  When i went in one of the 30 times to have B/W done in the next room I could hear that amazing sound of the swooshing of a babys heart beat, the sound i never got to hear with this baby.  So I know how you feel.  ((HUGS))
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    Missed M/C discoverd at 10w5d measuring 6w6d on 12/3/10 said goodbye 12/12/10 EDD 6/26/11 "this too shall pass"

    DS Born 9/29/2005 via c-section (breech)
    BFP #3 3/7/11 - EDD 11/17/11
    Betas: @14dpo-182 @18dpo-854!! @21dpo-3124!!!
    3-27-11 150 BPM!!!!
    He's a BOY!!!! Kieran Thomas

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  • LDW80LDW80
    I am so sorry for your loss and that you had to experience that.  I will be fine for 3-4 days and think "ok, I am moving forward" and then BAM, I burst out in tears for no reason.  I hope you can get through this.  ((hugs))
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    DD#1 9-4-04 *** DD#2 10-15-07
    BFP#3 10-25-10 *EDD 7/1/11 * missed m/c @ 13w3d
    BFP#4 7-30-11 *EDD 4/8/12 ~ DD#3 born 4/4/12
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  • laurenaclaurenac

    I'm so sorry for your loss.  I also had BW done today and was fighting the tears in the chair!! I cried when I got in my car.  I was mad at myself for making the appointment before work because I really just wanted to go home after and relax.  Next time, I am going to schedule it in the afternoon and then go home to my couch and blanket!

     

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  • PiperSPiperS member

    imageLDW80:
    I am so sorry for your loss and that you had to experience that.  I will be fine for 3-4 days and think "ok, I am moving forward" and then BAM, I burst out in tears for no reason.  I hope you can get through this.  ((hugs))

    This. I am so sorry sweetie.

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