I can't believe it!

Chevy412 · January 2011

So I have posted before about my crazy mother. She didn't talk to me for three years after giving my son up for adoption and continues to give me hell for it all the time. Well today I wanted to take DD over there because we just got home from vacation and they haven't seen her in 2 weeks. I called my sister to let her know we were heading over and my mom said I wasn't allowed in (she even blocked their driveway). I got there and found my sister sitting on the street waiting for me. After she got in she went on to tell me mom didn't want to see DD because she "only PRETENDS to like her". SERIOUSLY??? Who can say that about their grandchild????? I am so upset and don't even know how to aproach the situation... I'm guessing my mom will be cut out of my life for good.

nikipau144 · January 2011

Ughh that is horrible. I am so sorry that you are going through this. It truly sucks when people make every single situation about them. Hang in there hun!! Hugs and hugs for you!

Chevy412 · January 2011

Thanks! It's been getting really bad lately. I guess my husband and her got into it the other day and thats why she is so upset. He was defending me because she made me feel like crap on our honeymoon/ vacation. Oh well. I guess only time will tell if she is going to get over herself and realize the world doesn't revolve around her.

nikipau144 · January 2011

Hopefully she steps back and sees how crappy she is acting. Best of luck!

Hanginginthere2010 · January 2011

oh wow, you gave your son up for adoption? So so sad. I don't know if I could ever handle my DD giving away her child Ick! seriously.

Chevy412 · January 2011

Hanginginthere2010:
oh wow, you gave your son up for adoption? So so sad. I don't know if I could ever handle my DD giving away her child seriously.

It was incredibly hard and there were some days I didn't think I'd get through it after but I know he is in a better place and very happy now. I get where my mom is coming from but she said terrible things about my son too and at the time she wasn't willing to help.

LoveBeingAWife33008 · January 2011

I remember your posts and yoou did the right thing. Dont 2nd guess...ever.

2nd- drop her ass like a bad habit. she's poison.

Chevy412 · January 2011

LoveBeingAWife33008:
I remember your posts and yoou did the right thing. Dont 2nd guess...ever.

2nd- drop her ass like a bad habit. she's poison.

That sounds like what my husband has been saying. I'm finally starting to realize that may be the best thing...

aribs2010 · January 2011

Unfortunately, you can't pick your family. She sounds toxic and not worthy of you or your LO. My Dad won't talk to me because he blew his retirement money on total crap, and is mad that I won't send him $400 per month to support his spending. It sucks, but reality will never be the dream we have in our head of what the relationship should be. On the bright side, it sounds like you have a supportive DH and a beautiful child. Spend your energy on the positive people in your life.

Violet_McPurpleson · January 2011

Your mother sounds horrible and toxic, and honestly I think for your sanity and your DD's sake that cutting her out completely is probably the best thing to do.

If you want some advice from other's who have been through similar situations check out the family matters board on thenest.

I'm sorry you're going through this.

Hanginginthere2010 · January 2011

Chevy412:
Hanginginthere2010:

oh wow, you gave your son up for adoption? So so sad. I don't know if I could ever handle my DD giving away her child seriously.

It was incredibly hard and there were some days I didn't think I'd get through it after but I know he is in a better place and very happy now. I get where my mom is coming from but she said terrible things about my son too and at the time she wasn't willing to help.

Zip it!

ETA sorry but ya got a couple things in common with your mom... she thinks the world revolves around her and I suppose you did too at some point having a baby you had to give up. And her being able to cut you off, her blood and family, like you did with your son. I'm just ill over here now that I have a DD and hope she doesn't make decisions like that. God I pray she doesn't. Anyhow, not all moms are what we wish they were, not your mom, and I suppose your son might agree but if she does more harm than good perhaps you should take another break from her and maybe try to mend the relationship later in life.

LilacStar11 · January 2011

I am so sorry to hear that you are going through something so sad. I hope things get better and you find a way to resolve this terrible situation. Sounds like you have a good DH, lean on him!

Violet_McPurpleson · January 2011

Hanginginthere2010:
oh wow, you gave your son up for adoption? So so sad. I don't know if I could ever handle my DD giving away her child seriously.

DIAF! You cuntruffle.

Violet_McPurpleson · January 2011

Hanginginthere2010:
Chevy412:
Hanginginthere2010:

oh wow, you gave your son up for adoption? So so sad. I don't know if I could ever handle my DD giving away her child seriously.

It was incredibly hard and there were some days I didn't think I'd get through it after but I know he is in a better place and very happy now. I get where my mom is coming from but she said terrible things about my son too and at the time she wasn't willing to help.

She gave a child an opportunity for a better life. WTF is your problem with that?

Take your ignorant ass somewhere else. There is no reason to clutch your pearls over adoption. It's a very hard and selfless thing to do.

kcl22 · January 2011

Violet_McPurpleson:
Hanginginthere2010:
oh wow, you gave your son up for adoption? So so sad. I don't know if I could ever handle my DD giving away her child seriously.
DIAF! You cuntruffle.

WOW you're a douche hanginginthere

Chevy412 · January 2011

Violet_McPurpleson:
Hanginginthere2010:
Chevy412:
Hanginginthere2010:

oh wow, you gave your son up for adoption? So so sad. I don't know if I could ever handle my DD giving away her child seriously.

It was incredibly hard and there were some days I didn't think I'd get through it after but I know he is in a better place and very happy now. I get where my mom is coming from but she said terrible things about my son too and at the time she wasn't willing to help.

Thank you Some people can't handle the idea of adoption but I know I did what was best for my son.
She gave a child an opportunity for a better life. WTF is your problem with that?
Take your ignorant ass somewhere else. There is no reason to clutch your pearls over adoption. It's a very hard and selfless thing to do.

Hanginginthere2010 · January 2011

Just touched a nerve with me cuz I'm looking at my DD and hope she doesn't make decisions like that in her life. I'm sure I came off really hard on this. I just don't ever want to imagine a day when my DD gives away a precious baby, my grandbaby, family and blood.

Just really hard after holding my LO for the first time seeing how anyone could give a baby up and go on with their lives. I honestly don't understand and if you think its not my place to judge, you're absolutely right. Leaving this post alone.

ETA I don't think adoption is selfless. Selfishness in the first place led to it.

panicked228 · January 2011

Hanginginthere2010:
Just touched a nerve with me cuz I'm looking at my DD and hope she doesn't make decisions like that in her life. I'm sure I came off really hard on this. I just don't ever want to imagine a day when my DD gives away a precious baby, my grandbaby, family and blood.

Just really hard after holding my LO for the first time seeing how anyone could give a baby up and go on with their lives. I honestly don't understand and if you think its not my place to judge, you're absolutely right. Leaving this post alone.

ETA I don't think adoption is selfless. Selfishness in the first place led to it.

Seriously? Seriously?! I highly suggest you disappear off the board now before you go up into flames.... This is the most ignorant statement I may have ever heard. (And being on TB, I've heard a lot of them!) You have NO idea what circumstances lead people to place their children up for adoption. In the end, all they want is a better life for their children than they can provide. That is selfless, regardless of how/when/why the child was conceived.

MaMaC15 · January 2011

If anyone in my family said that they only "pretend" to like my child then they don't deserve to be apart of my child's life. That's her loss, I would cut her out. Life is too short, and honestly it's about our kids now. Your daughter doesn't deserve that, and that's all you have to tell her. I would tell her that she is not allowed to see your DD because only people who WANT to be apart of a childs life should be apart of it, NOT because they "have to" be or whatever it is they "think". I'm mad and it's not even my mom... geesh..

Tassie06 · January 2011

OMG that's awful, Im so sorry. Before you cut her out, i would talk to her about everything. What she said about DD and the baby you gave up for adoption. It sounds to me that she has and will never get over that. But she also has to understand that you have a daughter now and this is what is important in both of your lives. If you don't mind my asking, what made you decide to give up your baby?

MaMaC15 · January 2011

panicked228:
Hanginginthere2010:
Just touched a nerve with me cuz I'm looking at my DD and hope she doesn't make decisions like that in her life. I'm sure I came off really hard on this. I just don't ever want to imagine a day when my DD gives away a precious baby, my grandbaby, family and blood.
Just really hard after holding my LO for the first time seeing how anyone could give a baby up and go on with their lives. I honestly don't understand and if you think its not my place to judge, you're absolutely right. Leaving this post alone.
ETA I don't think adoption is selfless. Selfishness in the first place led to it.
Seriously? Seriously?! I highly suggest you disappear off the board now before you go up into flames.... This is the most ignorant statement I may have ever heard. (And being on TB, I've heard a lot of them!) You have NO idea what circumstances lead people to place their children up for adoption. In the end, all they want is a better life for their children than they can provide. That is selfless, regardless of how/when/why the child was conceived.

This. She gave her son a better chance. Not everyone's family is willing to help, especially when people get into tight situations involving a child. It is selfless.

Tassie06 · January 2011

Violet_McPurpleson:
Hanginginthere2010:
Chevy412:
Hanginginthere2010:

oh wow, you gave your son up for adoption? So so sad. I don't know if I could ever handle my DD giving away her child seriously.

It was incredibly hard and there were some days I didn't think I'd get through it after but I know he is in a better place and very happy now. I get where my mom is coming from but she said terrible things about my son too and at the time she wasn't willing to help.

She gave a child an opportunity for a better life. WTF is your problem with that?

Take your ignorant ass somewhere else. There is no reason to clutch your pearls over adoption. It's a very hard and selfless thing to do.

THIS! why on earth would you judge her like this. She probably gave her son a better life then she could have given him at time

TarponMonoxide · January 2011

Violet_McPurpleson:
Hanginginthere2010:
Chevy412:
Hanginginthere2010:

oh wow, you gave your son up for adoption? So so sad. I don't know if I could ever handle my DD giving away her child seriously.

It was incredibly hard and there were some days I didn't think I'd get through it after but I know he is in a better place and very happy now. I get where my mom is coming from but she said terrible things about my son too and at the time she wasn't willing to help.

She gave a child an opportunity for a better life. WTF is your problem with that?

Take your ignorant ass somewhere else. There is no reason to clutch your pearls over adoption. It's a very hard and selfless thing to do.

Here here.

Peanut, one has to put the best interests of the child FIRST. Surely you comprendo?

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