It seems like anytime we start talking about me having the baby, someone (mostly the same people who insist I put a twin bed in LO's room) tells me exactly what my labor is going to be like... no matter what I say. They are all set on that I am going to be in SO much pain, I will be yelling at DH the entire time, and at the end of it all I won't remember a thing? Um... okay. Yes it's going to hurt, I am pushing a human out of my vagina. Yes I am going to get frustrated but the yelling, screaming, "you did this to me!!!" woman in labor is very "Hollywood".
Sorry - I am just getting extremely annoyed with unsolicited opinions and thoughts!
Re: Thank you, for telling exactly what my labor is going to be like!
ok, i hope you don't take this as an unsolicited opinion or thought...
I can't say how you will act because I don't know you. I doubt you will be screaming and yelling like that... that does seem very Hollywood but I can speak about not remembering things.
I have convinced dh to turn on the video part of the camera and just put it on the table. I have delivered two babies and honestly, there are parts of both deliveries that I don't remember at all. I was completly awake, talking, and I had an epidural so I wasn't screaming and yelling. But.... everything just happens so fast.
So anyway... I talked him into taping it and if all I have is sound, then fine. I don't want to blog it, I won't even download it into the computer. I just want to watch it once and then I will delete it.
I don't know if it is just me but it is like I block or black out certain parts.
I hate it when women try to convince me to take the epidural because going med-free won't win me any awards. Really? Dang, that was the ONLY reason I wanted to go med free! You've burst my bubble!
Or, when women tell me I'm going to be screaming at the last parts of it. Well, I've been through this 2x before, so first off thanks for treating me like I don't know what I'm walking into. And second, I'm trying to finish my hypnobirthing book and we don't like to use 'scary' words like pain, contractions, etc. We like 'surges' for contractions, and 'sensations' for pain. Yeah, it's all semantics, but it really changes your frame of mind as to what to 'expect' to feel. People think I'm weird but this is how I want to do it. I don't have to be the screaming delirious woman.
I still get this from quite a few people and this is #3 for me. The weird part is that given my personality and energy, I could see myself as a yeller/screamer, but during labor I just focus my energy towards getting baby out. I see yelling as a waste of my energy and doesn't get me towards my goal of delivering a baby. Even my mother and grandmother told me I am the calmest and quietest woman in labor they have ever witnessed (not that either are in a field that would give them access to many laboring women). However my OB made the same comment at DS2's birth and was shocked when 10 mins after delivery I told DH I would have a third.
I guess it just depends on your frame of mind on how you will deal/release the energy of the contractions and labor.
Thank you! I totally agree. I may not "win awards" but I am trying to do the healthiest thing for my baby and me, and I've got my own medically substantiated reasons. I REALLY hate when people laugh or say "Just wait until you feel the pain!" When I tell them I'm trying for no epi. Ugh.
I am completely sick of this as well. I have friend who had her LO a few months ago and she is constantly telling me to get the epi because "it's so painful it's unbelievable. You really have no idea".
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My mom keeps telling me to avoid any type of pain relief, epidural etc. Im keeping my options open, considering ive never done this before. Shes also convinced that a vaginal delivery is the only option, though my ob has said i need to keep in mind i may HAVE to have a csection because of my size, but we will try vaginal first. Funny my mom says all of this since she's had 2 c-sections. She also claims to know whether my contractions are "real" or not, but never had contractions of her own to compare anything to..
My mom keeps telling me to avoid any type of pain relief, epidural etc. Im keeping my options open, considering ive never done this before. Shes also convinced that a vaginal delivery is the only option, though my ob has said i need to keep in mind i may HAVE to have a csection because of my size, but we will try vaginal first. Funny my mom says all of this since she's had 2 c-sections. She also claims to know whether my contractions are "real" or not, but never had contractions of her own to compare anything to..
I don't really get a whole lot of this, in spite of the fact that I'll tell whoever asks that I'm planning a med-free birth. My best friend (3 kids, all vaginal births with epidurals) loves to argue and be oppositional, and she'll go on and on about how crazy I'm being and how pointless it is to be in pain when I have an easy out, but other than that, people have been cool. Oh, except another of my best friends who doesn't have kids...she was like, "well, if you have to have a c-section you'll have to have an epidural!" Really? Ya think?
My mom does seem to think my labor is going to be just like hers were. Like, when I tell her I'm thinking of staying home as long as I can to avoid intervention at the hospital, she'll tell me I better be careful, because she was only in labor with me for 6 hours and 3 with my brother. I mean, that'd be nice if my first labor lasted only 6 hours, but I highly doubt it.