I need to figure out a way to "relax"

smallfry5909 · January 2011

After seeing another BFN this morning and sobbing to DH for 20 minutes, I have accepted the fact that something's got to give. I feel like a kettle that's about to boil over. I am putting so much pressure on myself to be pregnant by Jack's EDD in 2 weeks Crying but it's ridiculous. I know that I can't control the future, but at the same time I absolutely loathe being out of control over such an important part of my life.

I find it so annoying when people tell me to "relax, it'll happen" but at this point, I feel like I'm going to need therapy if I don't take some control over my emotions. I don't want to be sad all the time.... I want to go back to the girl who was happy, positive, and optimistic. I miss that girl. I hope I can be that way again, but who knows....

Anyway, pity party over. PLEASE give me some ideas to help me get through this rough patch. I was thinking yoga once a week but that's the best I can come up with.

(((HUGS))) to anybody else having a rough day :-(

jen629 · January 2011

{{{HUGS}}}..I know today is 13dpo and I have just given up on testing..sigh.....honestly the one thing that keeps me busy is selling on Ebay it really is a big distraction for me

MommyandKate · January 2011

Retail therapy is my drug of choice

And I avoid charting/temping etc. because that would make TTC too much a part of my daily life. I'm too Type A and I'd get all involved in it and drive myself crazy.

KaitySueWho · January 2011

smallfry5909:

After seeing another BFN this morning and sobbing to DH for 20 minutes, I have accepted the fact that something's got to give. I feel like a kettle that's about to boil over. I am putting so much pressure on myself to be pregnant by Jack's EDD in 2 weeks but it's ridiculous. I know that I can't control the future, but at the same time I absolutely loathe being out of control over such an important part of my life.

I find it so annoying when people tell me to "relax, it'll happen" but at this point, I feel like I'm going to need therapy if I don't take some control over my emotions. I don't want to be sad all the time.... I want to go back to the girl who was happy, positive, and optimistic. I miss that girl. I hope I can be that way again, but who knows....

Anyway, pity party over. PLEASE give me some ideas to help me get through this rough patch. I was thinking yoga once a week but that's the best I can come up with.

(((HUGS))) to anybody else having a rough day :-(

((hugs))

This is exactly how I feel today.. The fact that DH pointed it out to me this morning too doesn't help..I think I am going to have to go back on antidepressents because I just can't control my emotions anymore..

Temp774929562501329 · January 2011

i totally understand the feeling of sadness all the time. today is my bday and i wanted so badly to be preg by now so i could have something to be happy about. totally didn't happen. i weaned myself off of antidepressants a few weeks ago and know i should go back on them b/c i was able to deal a little better, but i want so badly to be pregnant and to not having anything to blame if something happens again. as for relaxing- retail therapy has been my go to. and im gonna go get a mani/pedi/massage today.. maybe try pampering yourself? big big ::hugs:: to you!

jerryliljess · January 2011

((hugs)) Yoga is a great stress reliever. Getting a massage, pedicure, bubble bath, are some other ideas.

martinimomma · January 2011

Other than Drinks I have no bright ideas, Buddy. So, I offer ((hugs)), a reminder that we are here to vent to (and I am available for individual venting as often as you might need it, just PM me) and a suggestion that you check out AngelEyes' funny animal siggy challenge picture and caption. That made me laugh out loud just now, and for those 3 seconds, I felt great.

I wish I had a better answer. I do know that "Relax" is not the answer that is going to work for us.

These next couple weeks are going to be super hard, but both IRL with your DH and here, you are supported and loved. Yoga can't hurt. Talking to someone or a support group can't hurt. Whatever will give you the tools you need.

((Big Buddy Hugs))

FmrAFBrat · January 2011

Mel12880:
Retail therapy is my drug of choice And I avoid charting/temping etc. because that would make TTC too much a part of my daily life. I'm too Type A and I'd get all involved in it and drive myself crazy.

This. I actually am under doctors orders not to chart anymore since it makes me worry. I am only allowed OPKs. Really though I think shopping & going out to lunch by myself (to read or do whatever) has been really helpful. Going on a walk or to the gym is nice too. Like another PP mentioned I looked into accupuncture but it's really expensive. I have an RX for antidepressants, but I just decided to go to talk to someone to deal with my feelings. I may start going to a loss group locally, however it never works with my work schedule.

Just try to have some "me" time whatever that may be. I do hope you get happy news soon. ((HUGS))

Tapatio · January 2011

((hugs))

I agree with the other ladies. Yoga is a great idea! Maybe acupuncture. Monthly massage/pedicure/manicure. I love reading so that for me has been a great distraction. My mind ends up in another make-believe world and it feels great! I've also thought about taking up volunteer work (just need to find something close to home). Sometimes exercise and retail therapy can help out. I hope tomorrow is a better day Smile .

LifeInANutshell · January 2011

I've been here. Since our loss there have been times where I've broken down like a stack of cards...the reality of our loss, my hunger to be a mother and my jealously of what feels like most every other woman in existence boil over and I mentally crash.

DH suggested therapy - which I've done before - but its not for me.

Instead I do other things. I see an acupuncturist weekly who specializes in fertility, she also helps me to reduce my anxiety with each treatment. I was skeptical when I first started treatments, but with the reactions I've seen in my body and my mental state I'm a full believer.

I also pursue my own interests such as yoga, cooking, baking, various craft and copious amounts of TV!

Kristipie · January 2011

I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. It's hard not to be so hard on ourselves. Retail therapy always helps me, as well as yoga. But sometimes the complete opposite is actually better. Something like kick-boxing helps me work out my frustration and anger in a positive way.

cubsgirl13 · January 2011

I have also been racking my brain lately trying to think of ways to "relax" so I will actually ovulate already. What I've come up with is trying out some new recipes for dinners, cooking more, reading books, and DH and I have been renting series of shows from Netflix, so I'm always excited to watch new episodes. Right now we are on Season 3 of Six Feet Under and I really like it. I'm also trying out some new workout classes.

I've thought about yoga, but I've tried it before and I always get bored (probably because I dont allow myself to relax). I've also thought about accupuncture, but I will wait until after our Aruba trip in Feb to start that if I'm not pg yet.

Planning a fun getaway vacation might also be a way to get your mind off things and have something to really look forward to.

I'm so sorry you are going through this!!

christyjolee · January 2011

Hi friend! I was just thinking about you last night and wondering where you were.

I am so sorry. I know this must be so hard for you.

For me, so far, I have made the conscious decision not to chart. I just feel that it would stress me out too much. I have an idea of when I ovulate due to CM and whatnot, so we just do a lot of FWP during that time. Maybe you could try a month of not charting just to give yourself a bit of a break.

I'm in the same boat with you a little bit. I just realized last night that if I am not KU this cycle I will not be KU by my first EDD next month. That hit me pretty hard. Why do we put this pressure on ourselves??

As always, I am always here or on FB or any other mode of communication for you.

Big huge buddy ((hugs)) to you!!

Nicks10 · January 2011

I'm so sorry you are having a rough day. I'm sending you a big virtual hug. I like the yoga idea to relax. You feel so good afterwards. I'm also not opposed to retail therapy. It doesn't have to be anything big, but I remember feeling really crappy one day and going to Sephora to buy some new eyeshadows. Doing things to make me feel pretty and give a little ego boost improve my mood; manicures are good in the same regard.

TeamR&B · January 2011

First, big ((hugs)) to you! I know what you mean... I cry at BFNs and CD1s too and the most recent one last week was especially difficult since my 1st EDD is coming up on Sunday. It truly sucks not to have any control over something you want so badly! I wish I knew the answer to how to relax and not be sad all the time.

I think yoga is a great idea and would try it more than once a week, if you enjoy it. It's a great way to clear your mind. I also like the retail therapy idea, although after a certain point one can go overboard (and broke) with shopping! ;-) As a PP mentioned, I really like the idea of planning a vacation or mini-getaway. Having something to look forward to helps a little!

LilMaggs · January 2011

Yoga is a great idea! Bubble baths with wine/sparkling cider and chocolate on pretty tray with lots of candles in the bathroom works for me. Hot cocoa and a good book, retail therapy, long walks (when it's not cold as hell), mani/pedi, and Sephora. Massages are great. We have a killer esthetics school 10 min away, so I can pamper myself on the cheap.

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