Would you bring LO to a funeral?

Bredins wife · January 2011

My best friends grandpa died and the funeral is Friday. The only way I can go is if I bring P. I am not worried about her crying or whatever b/c she is easy and all I have to do is nurse to her make it stop. I would sit in the back and make sure I could run out if she got fussy. I am worried about bringing the attention away from the funeral. I don't want people ooing and aweing over P, when my friends family is mourning. I was thinking I could wear her in the maya wrap and maybe people wouldn't even notice or be less interested? I really want to be there for my friend. WWYD?

outdoorsygirl123 · January 2011

I would take her. I took DS when he was 3 months old to my BF's mother's funeral. I had no childcare and I wasn't about to not go.

jennaw21 · January 2011

I would take her! The best way to help people who are mourning the loss of a loved one especially someone who lived a full life like a grandpa is to be there for them and a new baby will only help that. It will mean that much more to your friend that you showed up even though you have a newborn to care for.

IMO, it's not like a wedding day where the guest of honor doesn't want the spotlight stolen.

JBtheDog20 · January 2011

My Husbands Grandma passed away when A was only three week old. We did bring her and unfortunately since I hadn't purchased my first wrap yet I just carried her the whole time. I was very hesitant but the best advice I got was that babies are always a happy thing and sometimes it's nice at times like that to see that things do move on and your LO can be a good way to cheer up a crappy situation. I know the situation is a little different but hopefully that helps.

rms879 · January 2011

Go! Your presence will show support for your friend.

Don't worry that LO will be a distraction. In my experience, a degree of socializing takes place at most funerals, particularly when the deceased was elderly. I doubt that the tone will be "deep mourning"... And again, your friend will be glad of this sign of your regard!

erinl5276 · January 2011

I say go...even if you can't stay the whole time, it will still be nice that you're there. Plus like PP said, I'm sure a happy little baby will bring some happiness to such a hard time

Nhev · January 2011

I had to take her b/c my grandma died almost two weeks ago. This is a little different, but it's your best friend and she'd probably appreciate you being there.

Bredins wife · January 2011

K, thanks... now, what should LO wear? Does it really matter, or should I go get her a black or grey dress?

january41979 · January 2011

Ditto what everyone said above. I brought DD to my grandmother's funeral when she was 3 weeks. It doesn't matter what she wears at all. Something plain would be fine.

PunkyBooster · January 2011

Yes. Sit on the aisle and step out if she fusses .No big deal.

CEO1197 · January 2011

I don't think it would matter what she wears. We took DD to my grandma's funeral when she was 7 months--she wore her easter dress, because I wasn't about to go out and try to find her a dark dress in the spring.

If you have a dark dress/outfit, i think it's appropriate, but if it were me, I wouldn't spend too much time/money on trying to find one.

Jinsy80 · January 2011

I would bring her too...

Amy1020 · January 2011

I took DS to a Catholic funeral when he was 10 days old. We sat in the back and on the aisle, ready to bolt. He did real well though.

BallSox · January 2011

I actually just did this last weekend. We went (and stayed) for the whole viewing Friday and then to the viewing/funeral/lunch on Saturday. The only thing we didn't do was the graveside service (I sat in the car with L) because it was so cold and windy.

There were people oooing and awwwing (mostly just a couple of the same ones) but he fussed only minimally (I could fend it off with nursing or bottle feeding). I didn't want to take him, but my mom pointed out that it's the circle of life, that L was a part of his (the man who died) life and that someone smiling over a baby didn't take away their loss any, it might even help them.

I'm glad I took him, honestly.

alswitch · January 2011

Completely appropriate, I agree the wrap would be a perfect answer . The baby might be a welcome bit of joy in an otherwise somber occasion.

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