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Kind of feel guilty for feeling this way...

KirstieCKirstieC member
in Parenting after 35
...But DH is leaving town for 3 weeks and I'm kind of happy about it. I work part-time 3 mornings a week teaching fitness classes and take the bulk load of baby care while DH works freelance. The past year has been pretty tough on us financially (although this seems to be changing for us) so he's been spending a lot of time at home. This has been great because he's gotten to spend a lot of time with Betty Jane and help out with baby duties, but it's also been stressful due to finances and DH feeling that he's not able to provide for his family (which I completely understand). Seriously, having him around so much is like having a 2nd child around. Now that he's going to be gone for 3 weeks, I feel like I have some breathing room and that this will be a much needed break from each other. Is it so wrong to be happy that DH is going away? Even though Betty Jane is a really easy baby (eats well, STTN, etc) and my sister is flying out to lend a hand for a week, I'm excited to spend some alone time with my daughter.
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Re: Kind of feel guilty for feeling this way...

  • Married2003Married2003 member
    I think we all need some "me" time, regardless of the situation.  I love my DH dearly but there are times when I look foward to his business travels.  When he's not home, the house is CLEAN and organized.  Also, my mom stays with us when he's on travel and my mom is more helpful w/cleaning & baby help then DH is (just a motherly thing).  There's a nice zen in the house when DH is gone :-)
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  • LyndaCarterLyndaCarter
    I feel the same way sometimes. DH goes to classes a couple evenings a week and I enjoy that alone time with DD#1 when he's gone and DD#2 is already in bed asleep. No need to feel guilty. I sigh with relief on any days off work when the girls go to daycare and DH goes to work. The quiet house is something that doesn't happen often so I relish it. No reason to feel guilty about looking forward to alone time without a loved one.
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  • amtakaamtaka
    We live in Southern Cal and DH works in Northern Cal during the week.  I love when he's home and we can have family time.  But since he's only home a day and a half he tries to get everything done.  The stress level in the house goes up a few notches.  Things are calmer when he's not home.  Also, when he's not home my mom comes by to see Leah and I can get stuff done.   Like Married said, there's a nice zen in the house when DH is gone. 
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  • leffe1leffe1
    I can understand. I actually look forward to my dh leaving for a night or two (sometimes for work). I like being by myself sometimes. Enjoy the break and spending so much alone time with your dd!
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  • lynnsheylynnshey
    No flames from me.  I totally know what you mean.  I love my SO, but sometimes I need him to take a hike (literally - lol) and I encourage him to go out and go for a day walk or hike.  It is good for him because it clears his mind, but it is good for me too.  I can focus on what I think needs to be done in the house and I don't have to worry about him.  So enjoy the three weeks and have some fabulous girl time with Betty Jane!
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  • DaisiesinmygardenDaisiesinmygarden member

    DH left this morning for a week long work trip. I don't have any family that comes to help and the older boys are gone a lot with school, friends and work. I enjoy stretching out in bed and sleeping starfish-style. I also enjoy the lack of snoring. I get lots of *alone* time with Maddie since I SAH, but I enjoy the extra *me* time and I get to catch up on some chick flicks I have been putting off until he was out of town. I'll probably have dinner out with some girlfriends, which I don't usually do during the week. I look forward to that also.

    I don't feel guilty because he is also sleeping starfish in his biiiig hotel bed with the thermostat set exactly how he wants it - no compromising, happily snoring without me jabbing him and telling him to roll over, eating out with his coworkers/friends and having lots of fun adult conversation. I know he misses us, but you can't tell me he doesn't enjoy the break. :)

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  • fiazofiazo

    I was thinking to post just this. I love DH & do like having him home BUT I have so much more to do when he's home. When he's at work I eat when I am hungry. When he's home he asks what time are we having lunch. Um..when you want something look in the fridge. It is like taking care of 2 kids. My house always seems to be more of a mess when he's home too. I also feel guilty if I am on the computer instead of spending time with him...but come on he parks himself in front of the tv. He wants me to relax with him & I know it's so he doesn't feel guilty laying around while I am busy. There is always something that needs to be done.

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  • mtnridermtnrider member
    imageDaisiesinmygarden:

    DH left this morning for a week long work trip. I don't have any family that comes to help and the older boys are gone a lot with school, friends and work. I enjoy stretching out in bed and sleeping starfish-style. I also enjoy the lack of snoring. I get lots of *alone* time with Maddie since I SAH, but I enjoy the extra *me* time and I get to catch up on some chick flicks I have been putting off until he was out of town. I'll probably have dinner out with some girlfriends, which I don't usually do during the week. I look forward to that also.

    I don't feel guilty because he is also sleeping starfish in his biiiig hotel bed with the thermostat set exactly how he wants it - no compromising, happily snoring without me jabbing him and telling him to roll over, eating out with his coworkers/friends and having lots of fun adult conversation. I know he misses us, but you can't tell me he doesn't enjoy the break. :)

    I hear that!  But I'm guessing your dog doesn't sleep with you.  No starfish style for me with our 100 lb lab in our bed!

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  • M.AmyM.Amy member

    Alone time is so important. 

    I believe people should not feel guilty if they enjoy time away from their family. Everyone needs to be a person (rather than a mom, wife, daughter etc).

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  • KirstieCKirstieC member
    Thanks everyone! I'm starting to relish my "this is a good thing" attitude. It's good for our relationship and good for our bank account. Woohoo!
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