I don't usually post much here...just lurk and read everyone else's experiences that are like mine. I have been trying to cope with PPD for 5 months now, I'm on zoloft and it seems to help most days. I can definitely tell how it affects me when I forget to take it though. Anyways....today has been such a hard day for me. Mondays are usually bad, trying to deal with being back to work after being able to spend 2 whole days with DS. But today is more than rough. And on top of it DH tells me he asked my mom to pick DS up from daycare so he can meet the guys for a beer. My mom already watches DS for a couple hours T-TH-F between the times that DH goes to work and I get home from work. It made me so angry that he would ask her to take him ANOTHER day just so he could go out earlier. I mean, he's going out when I get home anyway! I guess part of it is I'm jealous that he can go out for a beer with our friends. And part of it is that I feel so incompetent as a parent that my Mom has to watch DS as much as she does. He isn't her responsibility, he's MY son. None of this would be an issue if I didn't have to work to support the family. I want to be a SAHM, that's what I've always wanted. This isn't how my life is supposed to be! I'm supposed to be the housewife, the Mom that's always there. How did this happen? How do I fix it?! Why is it so easy for some families but not ours? Thanks if you've made it to the end, to my little freak out session....
Re: I don't post much...but it's been a bad day (long)
I don't have any advice but just want to say I TOTALLY get it. My parents live a few blocks away from us and I feel like we depend on them to help too much. We don't have a regular babysitting time, but we end up calling them spur of the moment. They love to hang out with our little guy. He isn't their child or responsibility though.
It sounds like you guys work opposite schedules? DH and I do too. It is great to not need daycare, but it is so hard on a relationship. I've been in that same place resenting DH for going somewhere. I worked all day, take care of the baby all night, and you get to go have fun? To be fair he almost never goes out but I still have gotten mad about it. I just feel like we never see each other and resent when he wants to be somewhere else. I also totally get his perspective too.
We have the same struggle with me wanting to stay at home too. For us it is just not possible. We work hard, but are not in the income bracket where we can even try to live off only DH salary. I did go down to working part time. I hate it. But I hate it less than I hated working full time. We have the same overlap in our schedules like you do. If I was working full time with my kid in daycare we would make less though. So that is how we justified going to part time. We struggle because of it. My best friend makes more by herself than DH and I make combined now. And they have lots of nice, new things to show for it. Their house is nicer, their cars are new, they take great vacations, their kid has the best clothes and toys. My kid proudly wears their hand-me downs! But, it is worth it to me. Maybe you guys can find some compromise? Maybe you could work part time and DH could pick up some overtime to compensate? For me I just had to do it. I was more and more depressed every day I was away from my son. It is really hard but we are scraping by. Anyway- I just totally understand where you are coming from. :::hugs::::
Owen Matthew 11/1/2009 4lbs 10oz 16.5in
Born 5 weeks early by C/S | Severe Pre-Eclampsia
BFP #2 5/1/2011 | M/C @ 7 weeks | D&C 5/25/2011
TTC #2 | HSG Clear | SA 2% Morph otherwise great
3 failed Femara/TI cycles moving on to IUI