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Babies: 0 - 3 Months
Need some advice from you new mommies>
Hi everyone, i'm coming over from 1st Tri but have a question for all of you:
Over the weekend i was talking to my best friend and she gave me a heads up that she will probabley be engaged very soon. Her and her boyfriend have been talking very seriously about marriage and have chosen their wedding parties and even the date. They are just waiting on the proposal. So, that leads me to my question: I am due September 7th, they are looking to have the wedding on October 1st. She wants me to be in the wedding, which i really would love to, i just don't know what kind of state that i will be in. It will only give me a few weeks, if i deliver on time to get ready for the wedding. Plus, i don't know what to do about a dress either. I've been working out like usual 4-6 times per week and eating healthy, so i'm hoping that i don't gain a ton of weight. What do you ladies think and suggest? How did you ladies feel 3 weeks after delivering, would you have been able to stand in a wedding and did you bounce back to your pre-baby weight right away?
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Re: Need some advice from you new mommies>
I say go for it. You sound like you have a similar lifestyle as I do. I weighed about 150 pre-pregnancy and by 4 weeks, was pretty much back to normal except my belly... If you have a vag delivery, you won't feel like working out but you should lose a fair amount of the baby weight. I say get a flowing dress - nothing too tight. With spanx, you can hide a lot if the dress is even the least bit forgiving.
The only thing to consider is if you go late, you might not actually feel like getting into a dress, but it's really about being there for your friend, anyway - pose for pictures only when required
1. There's a decent chance you'll be 2 weeks pp a month after your due date. You most likely will be in no state to go to a wedding and definitely not to be in one. I was bleeding a ton still and leaking everywhere, plus nursing around the clock and not sleeping.
2. even if you don't gain a lot of weight, you may not be close to your PP body. I lost all of my baby weight within a few months but I didn't feel like myself until 3-4 months, body-wise. I certainly didn't "bounce back" to anything.
I'd decline. It's just not likely. I would leave the option of attending open, but be prepared that you might not make it. And I'm saying this from the standpoint of someone who had a relatively easy recovery. You might feel differently but you should leave yourself the option of backing out.
As you know, every pregnancy is different. In my case, I was back to my pre-pregnancy weight 5 days after delivery. But that's just me. I was very tiny to begin with, only 115 lbs and I only gained 30. I was ALL baby, as he was 9 lbs. 3 ounces. I was tired, yes, but I would have been OK to get into a dress and go to a wedding. It depends on the person really.
I say go for it. You want to be there for your friend and it will give you a chance to get out of the house too!! :-)
I agree with erbear. You can't count on your due date whatsoever. I had my baby a week early, but you could go as far as two weeks late. Also, if you have a c-section, you will still be healing. Plus if you plan to nurse, you will need to feed every 2-3 hours and pump afterwards. It becomes so uncomfortable if you don't pump or feed too...and those bridesmaids dresses are never comfortable to begin with. I would reconsider being a bridesmaid because it also entails a lot of work prior to the big date with showers, bachelorette parties, bridesmaids luncheons and so on.
BTW, congrats on the pregnancy! Its a wonderful journey and having your LO is the most amazing feeling in the world!
But of course, that is just me
I agree with the PPs that said to keep in mind that you might actually only be two weeks out, not four.
I lost almost all of the pregnancy weight (39 pounds) in the first week, but my body still hasn't gotten it's old shape back. That said, if you got a dress with a forgiving waistline, you could probably do it.
As far as recovery, I had a complication-free vaginal delivery, and I bled pretty heavily for the first 2-3 weeks. I was fine getting up and moving around.
The thing I would be most worried about would be your mood, energy level, and dealing with LO. At 2 or 3 weeks, my LO was still eating every hour and a half (BFing). Plus I wasn't getting any sleep at all, and I was sort of a zombie. There's no guarantee that things will be like this for you, but there's no guarantee that they won't either, so I would make my decision based on how understanding the bride is going to be if you can't be as involved as she'd like. You can probably plan to attend the wedding even if you decide it's not a good idea to be in it.
Everyone's attitudes are different, everyone's recovery is different...but I'm with you on this one. What happens if you deliver two weeks late? That doesn't give you much time to recover, not to mention get your dress adjusted. I had no problems with my weight - I lost 100% of it within two weeks - but my shape is a little different than it was pre-pregnancy. I also ended up with an emergency c-section and the last thing I would've wanted two weeks PP would have been to stand in a dress in front of a crowd. I was tired, sore, bleeding, and leaking.
To each their own, and if you think you can do it, go for it! I'm just saying if it were me, I'm not sure I could do it. Maybe go as a guest? Either way, the bride will understand your decision.
Like a pp said, it's very possible that you might only be around 2 weeks postpartum by that point.
I wouldn't have wanted to go to a wedding with my 2 week old... nevermind being IN the wedding. I was tired, still very swollen, nursing every 2 hours or less, my boobs were leaking constantly and I was still bleeding. I also wouldn't have wanted my LO around that many people that early... too overwhelming and too much of a chance that LO would get sick.
I'm still 25lbs over my pre-pregnancy weight. I ate well and walked/swam a lot during my pregnancy and I still gained almost 50lbs. Sometimes your weight gain is completely out of your control no matter how healthy your lifestyle when you're pregnant. I wouldn't put any pressure on yourself to gain as little weight as possible during your pregnancy because of the wedding.
I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living my baby you'll be.
- Robert Munsch
This.
I went to a wedding 3 weeks after my first. I wasn't in the wedding, but I was able to fit into a pre-pg dress with no problems. BUT, it really depends on the individual. As far as feeling ready to go out-- I was ECSTATIC to get out of the house, have a couple of cocktails, and do some dancing.
I was a bridesmaid in my best friends wedding 7 days after DD1 was born. I felt fine. I got a little sore by 11pm that night but nothing horrible. I still had a belly and I just went in to get fitted for my dress 2 days before the wedding and again the day before. We ordered the dress bigger than what I would normally need.
At 3 weeks I felt great and even at only 2 weeks post-partum now I'd feel up to it.
At 3 weeks pp, I felt pretty good, other than the constant nursing mandated by LO's growth spurt. At 2 weeks pp, I was still pretty sore (had only a first-degree tear and a relatively easy labor), and I was still bleeding fairly heavily any time I over-exerted (I'm assuming being in a wedding may lead to over-exertion).
I gained 39 lbs during my pregnancy. I was in good shape, exercised 4-6 times/week until 31 weeks, and ate relatively well. I'd lost 19 lbs by 2 weeks post-partum. My stomach actually went back to close to pre-pregnancy shape by 2/3 weeks, but my hips/thighs are still not close.
I lost the weight fast so the dress would have been fine, but you can't always count on that.
There's no way I would have been ready to leave my baby with someone that early though! I definitely wouldn't enjoy it. And, like PPs said, if she's only a couple of weeks old, you may be sore and tired, and if you're BFing, it may be sort of dominating your life at that point
Do what you feel is right. Every mama is different and it may actually help you in the beginning to get out and do something so special and fun!
If you are planning to FF, you might be fine, but if you are planning to BF I definitely wouldn't agree to it. You just can't say to a 1,2,or 3 week old "Just wait ten minutes, Mommy has to walk down the aisle." You could be in for some very bad timing issues.
In terms of weight, who cares? Yeah, you may not look your best in pictures but your friend will always know why.
And as for comfort, I was fine 3 weeks PP. Still bleeding, but manageable.
DD is almost 4 weeks old now and I've lost all of my pregnancy weight, but am definitely a different shape than before. Plus I am not physically capable of what I was before I got pregnant. I spent the 2nd half of my pregnancy with limited activity restrictions due to a complication so I'm very out of shape, plus I had a c-section so my abdomen is weak. I went shopping yesterday for about 2 hours and I'm in pain from it today because I'm out of shape after basically sitting around for 20 weeks.
I think you could probably participate in some capacity - do a reading or something - but to be a full bridesmaid might be too much, depending on how your pregnancy and delivery and recovery go. Or you might be absolutely fine 2 days after delivery. Everyone is different so it's good that you're asking and having realistic expectations.
For the record I am not a typical case but I will try to be helpful - I was really sick the first 6 1/2 months of my pregnancy but ate really healthy... I ended up losing 30 pounds prior to my deliveryand looked better than I had in a few years, but for most women of average size they gain 15-25 lbs and it usually takes them 3 months to lose the weight with regular exercise (breastfeeding will help though as it burns about 500 calories a day).
As far as being able to stand you will probaby be ok three weeks after but if you go late that could be an issue. The other thing to consider would be the shoes - most women's feet swell and increase in size. Even with my weight loss I retained a lot of water and had pitting edema of my lower legs. It took about 2 weeks for this to resolve so strappy little high healed shoes could be lethal!
As for the dress my recommendation is to go with an empire waist. It tends to draw attention away from the stomach and is usually pretty forgiving if your still carrying a little extra tummy tissue.