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Trouble TTC
starting to avoid babies
So far in this journey I have not lost my love for babies. I am always offering my services to friends who have babies and love to see them. But today I think I have turned a bad corner.
DH is already at a friend's house watching the Bears/Seahawks game and I was supposed to meet him for the Pats/Jets game (we live in Boston). Basically everyone we know is going there to watch the game. Including two friends who are bringing their 3 month old son who I haven't seen since he was born. I don't want to go anymore.
I just feel like it was make me sad. I am in my first clomid cycle and am really nervous. So far I have just been dealing with PCOS and not really TRYING because I couldn't. I am terrified of how a BFN will make me feel if this cycle doesn't work (and really, how can I expect the first one to work?)
So I am going to stay home and do laundry because I can't face a 3 month old. Sad day 
Glad to have tomorrow off at least!
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Re: starting to avoid babies
I know EXACTLY how you feel...
I feel horrible but I've definitely been avoiding friends with babies. I'm also starting to hate FB for updating me on every friend of mine who is pregnant.
I feel like a bad person sometimes.
Keep your head up
Sending you sticky vibes & baby dust...
XOXO
TTC#1 since 6/2010
Insulin resistance (metformin)
PCOS
**SAIFW**
3 cycles Femara
4 Femara & Follistim w/ Ovidrel trigger
All BFN's
I know exactly how you feel, DH best friend had a baby in Aug. I have yet to bring myself to see it. I sent a gift and a meal when she was born but that is all I could do. I feel bad sometimes that I behave this way but I just can't help it, it is so hard. I try to avoid all conversations at work around babies ~ lots of people there have young children, and one just went on mat leave and one just came back. I hate how IF is controlling my life but I just don't know how to turn it off.
Hope your day goes okay, whether you go or not. I read a really great book that said it is okay even better if you don't go if you know it is going to be a trigger for you. I went to one therapy session and the therapist said the same thing. So don't feel bad if you can't bring yourself to go. GL
I think it is normal to feel the way you do. I attended a friend's brunch, and the attendees were two new mommies, a pregnant girl, and me. They talked about pregnancy and babies for nearly 2 hours and I basically sat there and listened and then cried the whole drive home. One girl told me how fertile she was... she just couldn't believe it. After that brunch, I definitely think twice before attending a social function that might turn out like that one.
IMO, it is definitely okay to skip out on some things if it is just too much to handle.
This doesn't make you a horrible person.
My hubby and I have been trying since 10/07. I hate to see people and their babies. I avoid the situation at any cost and if I cannot avoid it, I go back home upset and depressed. I know this may seem childish, but I think people who are not in our situation just don't quite understand.
Keep your head up. The people who tell us things will happen when their meant to must be right.
Lots of baby dust to everyone!
I'm sorry that you are feeling that way, it is a real challenge sometimes.
DH and I were supposed to go to a party this weekend, but I really didn't feel like going for the same reason.. only it wasn't one baby, it was all of my friends and their babies. Normally, I can repress enough of my feelings to make it out and be fine with it, but the crappy weather also gave me an excuse not to go, so I didn't.
As for expecting the first round of Clomid to work, well, you just never know. I wasn't that fortunate, but I have seen quite a few ladies on here that were, I hope that you get to be one of them. GL!