feeding question

dearth19 · January 2011

I am a mom of 2 and have a friend that has her first little one and I found it odd the other day when we were visiting that she has her little one completely feed herself and doesn't help feed her. The little one isn't even a year and she sloppily got some food in her mouth and was frustrated and done pretty quickly and my friend said she doesn't eat much, and I asked well aren't you supposed to help feed her? My friend replied that she had been told that the little one is supposed to be independently feeding himself. I know that my oldest didn't do that till he was about 2 or so and I have 7 month old that eats way more than this little one. So what age should they be, to completely independently feed themselves? Her little one fusses a lot like they are hungry, what is a sensitive way to tell my friend to feed the little one?

Shortcake2675 · January 2011

I let my LO feed herself often, but I'm supervising and making sure she's actually eating. She prefers to feed herself and actually does a good job, eating most of what I expected and sometimes way more. Not sure when it's expected that she be able to feed herself.

dearth19 · January 2011

I also did that with mine, I'm saying my friend expects her little one with only a few teeth to eat big slabs of ham and such and expects the little one to know when she's had enough. I'm not saying she shouldn't feed himself at all just saying should they be independently feeding. For instance they put chunky beef soup on her high chair trey (not in a bowl just on the trey) she took 2-3 bites (using her hands) of the meet part and then started to fuss and they let her down and that was his dinner. Wouldn't you let them feed a few bites to themselves then finish feeding them yourself to make sure they get enough?

KateLouise · January 2011

Yeah it does seem like she's heard some "rule" and expects her baby just to get it.

My LO mostly feeds herself, unless it requires a spoon like yoghurt. But I supervise to keep her on track. Sometimes she gets distracted by what I'm eating or she wants a dirnk of water etc etc.

LOs can look like they've had enough to eat but it's your job as the parent to double check.

I also consider what I've given LO to eat. Something like cucumber can take her quite a while to much through, but i wouldn't consider three chunks of cucumber to be a meal. So I make sure to give her something more substantial with it.

ANJ410 · January 2011

My honest advice is for you to mind your own business. It's your opinion that she should be spoon feeding her LO, not a fact.

When my DS wasn an infant my pedi told me our goal was to start table food between 6 and 8 months and have him off of baby by 9 months old. I thought he was a little nuts since my DS was only six months old at the time, but actually as soon as my son got the concept of picking up food and feeding himself he wouldn't even let me near him with a spoon. He was 10 months old the last time I spoon fed him anything,

Since I already had experience with a LO this age, I did pretty much the same thing with DD. She will still let me feed her with a spoon if I am feeding her something that is too messy or slippery, but for everything that I know she can pick up, I let her feed herself. That is how LO's learn.

***Editing to add in that it is not necessary for babies to have teeth to eat table foods. They don't usually get their molars until over a year old and don't use a grinding motion to chew food until they are between 5 and 6 years old. My DS didn't get his first tooth until 10.5 months old and didn't get his second tooth until 14 months old and was eating pretty much everything that was soft enough for him to mash with his gums way before then.

BelhurstBride · January 2011

It sounds like she might be doing BLWing?

DD feeds herself. We sit and eat with her, but generally don't intervene. We give her handful sized chunks of food and let her nom them down herself. When she doesn't want anymore she doesn't eat anymore. Some days she eats so much I'm shocked, other days she doesn't want much of anything.

danto · January 2011

It's called Baby Led Weaning and is increasingly popular with Moms, Doctors and Nutritionists. The idea is that the baby will select from healthy options and eat until they are full. You may think the baby is still hungry, in all reality the baby is probably just done eating and ready to go on to the next activity. It's rare that a BLW baby will leave the table hungry due to 'frustration' - calories mostly come from breast milk or formula - very little is actually coming from solids - spoon fed or not.

dearth19 · January 2011

Thanks for the responses. This is my cousin?s wife and we live next door to each other and are very close, I don't really think it's a matter of minding business since I watch the little one a lot myself and she eats a ton while with me when I help her eat. My first kid was a super picky eater and it took a lot to get him to eat, and because of that I did always supplement with formula, but that?s my concern they don't feed her any formula and she only breast feeds 1-2 times a day (for 5 minutes) and doesn't drink any milk. I understand that babies will only eat until they are full, I was a baby that didn't eat very much either, but the circumstances here are a little different. I just wanted to know what the expected age of a child is to be independently eating. I think if you saw what I'm seeing you would understand. My friend/cousin in law is a very good mom and this is her first and she's just doing what she's been told by other people and what she reads so I was just wondering if anyone else knew more than I did, because I had and am having a completely different experience with my guy's. Thanks everyone the feedback has helped.

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