Do you feel guilty about having a gender preference?

michaela080 · January 2011

I really want a girl, but I kind of feel bad telling people I have a gender preference. The whole I just want a healthy baby, yadda, yadda, yadda. Of course I want a healthy baby, and of course I would love a boy too, but I can't help picturing us with a baby, and that baby is always a girl. Also when I picture baby clothes, nursery things, and my baby shower, they are always girly. Do you have a preference, and do you feel guilty about it?

CamJack mom · January 2011

I have 2 boys. I want a girl. I have ALWAYS wanted a girl. I don't feel bad about having a preference. I will be happy with a 3rd boy, but if I don't end up with a girl I will always long for one. However, I will continue to live vicariously through my female students, my cheerleaders and my nieces. My life will be complete with or without the daughter of my dreams.

ChickenLittle2010 · January 2011

The way I see it, a healthy baby has NOTHING to do with gender. As long as you promise not to abort your baby boy, I have no issue with you.

Everyone knows how much I love my son, he is my everything, I love having a little boy. I wanted a girl, so bad when I was pregnant before I found out he was a he.

I still want a little girl so bad, but a boy will make me just as happy. If a girl doesn't happen for me, I have several friends who have offered to let me take their daughters shopping for clothes.

Countrygirl36 · January 2011

I never had a preference, until MH told me that he wants a girl. Now I want one too, just to give him exactly what he wants. I don't feel guilty about that. Truly I know we will love any addition to our family, so it's not like we would be disappointed either way.

somnybooks · January 2011

I have always wanted a boy first because I always wished I had a big brother and they are supposed to be easier. I don't feel guilty because I wouldn't be disappointed if we have a girl first, it's not like she would be loved any less.

LoveToTeach25 · January 2011

My gender preference fluctuates from week to week depending on the dreams I have. Ever since I was a little girl I always wanted a boy first, and I still think that would be wonderful, but once in a while I have a dream where my DH is rocking a baby girl in his arms and I obviously would love that as well!! Right now I'm with the boy preference because there is a boy's name I can't stop thinking about!! I don't hold it against people as long as they truly wouldn't feel any differently about their pregnancy if they found out it was not their preference.

NBA0703 · January 2011

It is soo weird because I always wanted a girl!! Then when we got pregnant the first time I wanted a boy (we had a m/c) and I wasnt that far along but I had already set in me head for some reason it was a boy! Knowing deep down inside I really had no clue! I just was excited to have a boy first because we are naming the boy after my DH grandpas and we are really excited to tell them!

As of right now I dont really care either way! Seriously! I am sure that will change when I get pregnant!! But I do think Girl clothes are MORE fun : )

asyph107 · January 2011

I have a wonderful son. I love him to pieces, more than anything. That being said though I really want a daughter. Its almost a need at this point. Its hard for me to picture the rest of my life not having a daughter because my mother and I are so close and always did the girly stuff. I would never be upset if I had a second DS, but I would probably try for a third and again hope for a girl. I adore my DS and I would not exchange him for anything.

I really don't feel guilty at all, because either way my love for my LOs would not change.

[Deleted User] · January 2011

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picklesx · January 2011

I would prefer a boy. Everytime I picture DH and I with a baby its always a boy. I do feel a little guilty...but I know that if I do ever end up having a child I will be thrilled and I know that I will love them just as much either way, and that makes me feel a little bit less guilty.

araine10 · January 2011

somnybooks:
I have always wanted a boy first because I always wished I had a big brother and they are supposed to be easier. I don't feel guilty because I wouldn't be disappointed if we have a girl first, it's not like she would be loved any less.

This is exactly how I feel. I always wished I had a big brother to look after me too. My two younger sisters had my little brother to do that and I was always jealous when growing up. I will love whatever gender of child I end up with but I would love to have a little boy first

SmlTownGirl87 · January 2011

I in NO way feel guilty about it because I don't perfer one over the other. I really honestly would just like my baby.

pinksweetpea2 · January 2011

I just think it is funny that many people with a specific preference think girl = girly stuff and having a boy = Mamas boy. That is not the case. Each baby is an individual and that means that their sex (NOT GENDER) is just their sex- not their gender.

You will get what you get. You might as well accept that now.

cantalopes24 · January 2011

I would prefer a boy because we already have boy everything and a boy would fit into or life style better since MH and E are such men lol. I honestly don't know what I would do with a little girl, but I certainly wouldn't send her back lol. And I personally dislike the healthy baby argument, what if your baby isn't healthy, are you going to not love it or be miserable about it? When you try to get pregnant you are trying for any baby, boy, girl, healthy, not healthy, you don't really get a choice in any of it. You can't pick and choose what things in the baby are OK to wish for. Obviously none of us would want an unhealthy baby of our gender preference over a healthy baby that is not our gender preference.

michaela080 · January 2011

pinksweetpea2:
I just think it is funny that many people with a specific preference think girl = girly stuff and having a boy = Mamas boy. That is not the case. Each baby is an individual and that means that their sex (NOT GENDER) is just their sex- not their gender.
You will get what you get. You might as well accept that now.

I know I can't choose. I know it's a moot point, but my mind goes where it goes before I know one way or the other. But as a baby, a girl does = girly stuff because I will be choosing everything! I know that will change as they get older.

pinksweetpea2 · January 2011

michaela080:
pinksweetpea2:
I just think it is funny that many people with a specific preference think girl = girly stuff and having a boy = Mamas boy. That is not the case. Each baby is an individual and that means that their sex (NOT GENDER) is just their sex- not their gender.
You will get what you get. You might as well accept that now.

I know I can't choose. I know it's a moot point, but my mind goes where it goes before I know one way or the other. But as a baby, a girl does = girly stuff because I will be choosing everything! I know that will change as they get older.

Then you will be amazed at how soon they decide what they want. I was barely 4 years when I decided I would no longer be wearing dresses...my Mom was devistated. LOL

If you want a girl so you can dress her up for the first couple years of her life, great. ::shrugs:: I am not sure what to say to that.

psychgirl33 · January 2011

I go back and forth all the time about what my preference is. I don't feel guilty for having a preference, though. I know I will be equally excited no matter what, I just know that in dreamland, I imagine a certain thing and it sounds really nice.

I had a friend who had a boy and wanted another boy. She was devastated when she found out it was a girl. To the point that most of our friends were actually angry with her for how much she made it sound like she didn't want the baby she was pregnant with. They refused to paint the nursery until she was about to go into labor because they were hoping the ultrasounds might be wrong and it could still be a boy. She and her husband actually started talking about having a 3rd to try to get another boy before she even delivered the girl. I would have felt guilty about that...

(To be fair, though, from the day that she had her little girl forward, you would never have known that they acted like that or were in any way sad to not have another boy).

michaela080 · January 2011

pinksweetpea2:
michaela080:
pinksweetpea2:
I just think it is funny that many people with a specific preference think girl = girly stuff and having a boy = Mamas boy. That is not the case. Each baby is an individual and that means that their sex (NOT GENDER) is just their sex- not their gender.
You will get what you get. You might as well accept that now.

I know I can't choose. I know it's a moot point, but my mind goes where it goes before I know one way or the other. But as a baby, a girl does = girly stuff because I will be choosing everything! I know that will change as they get older.
Then you will be amazed at how soon they decide what they want. I was barely 4 years when I decided I would no longer be wearing dresses...my Mom was devistated. LOL
If you want a girl so you can dress her up for the first couple years of her life, great. ::shrugs:: I am not sure what to say to that.

That's not the only reason, but really most of the reasons are superficial. That is precisely because I know that every child/person is going to have their own personality, so what else could I predict? It's really all part of the nesting feeling right now.

ChickenLittle2010 · January 2011

pinksweetpea2:
michaela080:
pinksweetpea2:
I just think it is funny that many people with a specific preference think girl = girly stuff and having a boy = Mamas boy. That is not the case. Each baby is an individual and that means that their sex (NOT GENDER) is just their sex- not their gender.
You will get what you get. You might as well accept that now.

I know I can't choose. I know it's a moot point, but my mind goes where it goes before I know one way or the other. But as a baby, a girl does = girly stuff because I will be choosing everything! I know that will change as they get older.
Then you will be amazed at how soon they decide what they want. I was barely 4 years when I decided I would no longer be wearing dresses...my Mom was devistated. LOL
If you want a girl so you can dress her up for the first couple years of her life, great. ::shrugs:: I am not sure what to say to that.

I want a girl to be my little rodeo princess, and dammit my children will wear what I buy them. Four years old is too YOUNG to be making choices about clothes. I don't care that my reasons are superficial. I want a little girl to take shopping and go get pedis and high lights with. (Obviously when she's a bit older)

michaela080 · January 2011

ChickenLittle2010:
pinksweetpea2:
michaela080:
pinksweetpea2:
I just think it is funny that many people with a specific preference think girl = girly stuff and having a boy = Mamas boy. That is not the case. Each baby is an individual and that means that their sex (NOT GENDER) is just their sex- not their gender.
You will get what you get. You might as well accept that now.

I know I can't choose. I know it's a moot point, but my mind goes where it goes before I know one way or the other. But as a baby, a girl does = girly stuff because I will be choosing everything! I know that will change as they get older.
Then you will be amazed at how soon they decide what they want. I was barely 4 years when I decided I would no longer be wearing dresses...my Mom was devistated. LOL
If you want a girl so you can dress her up for the first couple years of her life, great. ::shrugs:: I am not sure what to say to that.
I want a girl to be my little rodeo princess, and dammit my children will wear what I buy them. Four years old is too YOUNG to be making choices about clothes. I don't care that my reasons are superficial. I want a little girl to take shopping and go get pedis and high lights with. (Obviously when she's a bit older)

Toddlers and Tiaras all the way! Yes

kimikins79 · January 2011

I don't feel bad about it - I want a girl. DH wants a boy. Actually, we just want a baby and the bonus for me would be a girl...that about sums it up for us.

jenb_99 · January 2011

Nah, nothing to feel guilty about! Everybody knows you'll fall in love with your baby, whatever you have, the second s/he's born, and your preferences will go out the window.

I've always said I wanted a boy, but lately when I think of my future child, I think of a girl. Looking at girl clothes, thinking of girl names, etc. But by next week I could go back to wanting a boy again. lol

JoAnna914 · January 2011

For a long time, I really really wanted a girl - I have two sisters and a niece, and I love all of us "ladies" hanging out together. But then my sister had a son, and he's frickin' GREAT - I love how little boys are just tiny men from birth (complete with caveman tendencies, grunting, farting and burping, lol). He cracks me up. So I've graduated to not caring either way.

ChickenLittle2010 · January 2011

michaela080:
ChickenLittle2010:
pinksweetpea2:
michaela080:
pinksweetpea2:
I just think it is funny that many people with a specific preference think girl = girly stuff and having a boy = Mamas boy. That is not the case. Each baby is an individual and that means that their sex (NOT GENDER) is just their sex- not their gender.
You will get what you get. You might as well accept that now.

I know I can't choose. I know it's a moot point, but my mind goes where it goes before I know one way or the other. But as a baby, a girl does = girly stuff because I will be choosing everything! I know that will change as they get older.
Then you will be amazed at how soon they decide what they want. I was barely 4 years when I decided I would no longer be wearing dresses...my Mom was devistated. LOL
If you want a girl so you can dress her up for the first couple years of her life, great. ::shrugs:: I am not sure what to say to that.
I want a girl to be my little rodeo princess, and dammit my children will wear what I buy them. Four years old is too YOUNG to be making choices about clothes. I don't care that my reasons are superficial. I want a little girl to take shopping and go get pedis and high lights with. (Obviously when she's a bit older)

Toddlers and Tiaras all the way!

LOL. Not quite that far.

MamaCat21 · January 2011

I don't feel guilty about having a gender preference because I know that I would be happy whether I got a boy or a girl. Any sticky baby is the baby for me. Smile

ajroemisch · January 2011

I used to care, but after a little over 4 years of trying I just want a baby! I don't care if we have twins, a child with downs or anything else! I know our child will be a total gift of God and a blessing from Him and I will give him glory & praise for the child he will give us!

macy42 · January 2011

michaela080:
ChickenLittle2010:
pinksweetpea2:
michaela080:
pinksweetpea2:
I just think it is funny that many people with a specific preference think girl = girly stuff and having a boy = Mamas boy. That is not the case. Each baby is an individual and that means that their sex (NOT GENDER) is just their sex- not their gender.
You will get what you get. You might as well accept that now.

I know I can't choose. I know it's a moot point, but my mind goes where it goes before I know one way or the other. But as a baby, a girl does = girly stuff because I will be choosing everything! I know that will change as they get older.
Then you will be amazed at how soon they decide what they want. I was barely 4 years when I decided I would no longer be wearing dresses...my Mom was devistated. LOL
If you want a girl so you can dress her up for the first couple years of her life, great. ::shrugs:: I am not sure what to say to that.
I want a girl to be my little rodeo princess, and dammit my children will wear what I buy them. Four years old is too YOUNG to be making choices about clothes. I don't care that my reasons are superficial. I want a little girl to take shopping and go get pedis and high lights with. (Obviously when she's a bit older)

Toddlers and Tiaras all the way!

I'm all about dressing up your LO's but I think Toddlers and Tiaras is one of the most ridiculous shows on television.

I saw one the other day where the little girl was wearing a set of Madonna "boob cones". I was shocked and completely floored. I can't imagine subjecting my child to stuff like that. Yikes.

But, to each their own. Big Smile

pinkflipflops44 · January 2011

No, I have no problem telling them we'd prefer to have boys. Doesn't mean we will love our girl child any less nor does it mean we do not want a healthy child. Other people's opinions aren't critical in my deciding how to answer inappropriate questions.

brookelynpaisley · January 2011

I've always envisioned myself as the mommy of a little girl. I have a hard time wrapping my head around the concept of having a boy. I, too, will love either, but I guess my daydreams have a preference. I don't think it's anything to feel guilty about.

PDXGal7868 · January 2011

I don't really have a preference. I have a boy, so I guess I would love to have a girl so we could have one of each - DH really only wants two kids.

At the same time I am scared about having a girl because MIL really wants a girl. She always talks about wishing for a grandaughter - not another grandchild - a grandaughter. When we told her DS was a boy, she said she was hoping for a girl. It pisses me off and I honestly think the crazy would come out if we had a girl. This is why if we ever do get PG, I don't want to find out the sex.

So glad we don't get to choose...

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