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August 2011 Moms
mama livingston
member
so annoyed.....pretty long rant
mama livingston
member
so my husband and I did not wait until the 13th week to announce that we're pregnant. It's our first child and we are super excited after TTC for 6 months (I know it may not seem like a long time compared to others, but for us it seemed to take forever). Anyway so we found out the week of Christmas, and decided to tell my family on Christmas and now we're in Missouri visiting his family and decided that we'd tell them (since we probably won't see them again until the baby is born we felt strongly that it needed to be done in person). So anyway, with family members knowing it leaked onto facebook, which is fine too. we're excited! I want the whole world to know that we're pregnant!!! However, the annoying part is, is that we keep being judged by people. I have friends judging us on the fact that we're going to keep our dog (who wouldn't even hurt a fly) when the baby is born (and we are going to do some training with her before the baby comes too just to be more careful). I've had friends go off on me for not waiting the 13 weeks I guess we were "supossed" to wait to start telling people. I've had friends go off on me about still having a year left in school, and just now, like 10 minutes ago, I was talking to a friend and it seemed like she was trying to convince me that I was going to have a miscarriage!!!!!!! WHY CAN'T PEOPLE JUST BE HAPPY FOR US!!!! SO TICKED! Why would you tell someone who is 8.5 weeks pregnant that they're probably going to miscarry?!?!?!? WHY!!!! I know we still have another 3.5 weeks till our 2nd trimester, I'm not stupid, and I know there is a possibility that something could happen to the baby, however, I just feel blessed that the baby held on long enough for me to even know I was pregnant (I read 30% of pregnancies end in m/c before the woman even knows she's pregnant and never even realizes she m/c) and I feel blessed being 8.5 weeks pregnant and feeling like CRAP all the time and having terrible m/s and sleeping for 13 hours a night and not able to eat much anything but apples, crackers, noodles and rice!!!! I feel blessed that there are some days I need dto unbutton my pants and unable to wear a bra because it just hurts too much! I feel like all these are signs that the baby is still doing what he/she needs to do, and that our first appointment on Thursday will be just fine. I feel like with all of this combinded and with every day that goes by that I'm hovered over that toilet bowl or garbage can, it just gives more and more reason to believe that the baby is just fine. I just can't for the life of me figure out why someone who is supossed to be one of my best friends is trying to convince me I'm going to miscarry....sorry for the rant, but my man is out sledding with the neices and nephews and I just had to blow off some steam.....
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Re: so annoyed.....pretty long rant
omg thats awful...so sorry you are going though that...people need to think before they speak! Ignore those negative folks...ya dont need them around and to me it sounds like they are jealous. Its your life not theirs and you control your life how you see fit. Tell them thanks for the advice and file it away in the BS box
As for your dog...not sure what you have but just cause you have a baby doesnt mean you cant have a dog! In fact I think its better for you to have a pet so the child can grow up with them and not be scared to death of them. You will teach them proper ways of handling pets and teach them not to just go up to any dog. My daughter has always had a dog in her life. When I was pregnant with her (9 years ago) we had a rotwiler puppy....i got alot of crap cause they are labeled as bad dogs, i can tell you its how they are raised...it was the best dog ever and would protect my daughter till the end of the world. She would sleep at the foot of the crib and was like her little watch dog. Was gentle with her and never hurt her in any way. She is now up in heaven and we now have a boxer....same thing its her baby and that dog follows her around the house all the time
I'm sorry but these don't sound like friends to me. Who juges someone on keeping their family pet after a little one is born? Really? We're keeping our dog and we told all our immediate family pretty much as soon as I found out I was pregnant (4 weeks)!
Ughhh people can be so frustrating! First of all, it's YOUR baby not theirs and they have absolutely no right to judge you at all! Telling people you are pregnant is completely up to you and there is no right or wrong way to do it. I really don't understand people who think you can just give up your pet because you are pregnant. I have had some judgement on that too, since I refuse to give up my two adult, incredibly well behaved cats. Honestly, if they are not handling having a new baby that's something we can take care of when the time comes. You don't give up a loving member of the family "just in case"!
Seems like there might be some jealousy coming in from those who are not being supportive. So sorry you had to go through all that nonsense.
I know, sorry for my grammer. I just got to typing and kept going.
thank you for all being on team amy without even knowing me!!! And thank you for understanding. I love being part of this group and knowing that there are other people are either a) going through what I'm going through or b) have been through what I'm going through. Thank you for taking the time to help me calm down!!!!
Sounds like people need a lesson in manners! When I was pg with DS, I seriously told people the first week I found out. Too early? Yeah, maybe... but WHATEVER! Everyone has a right to make decisions that they are comfortable with - without having to think about what their friends are going to say! Oh, and tell your friends that children who live with a dog during their first year of life have a lower incidence of asthma - not to mention learn how to treat creatures with love and respect. Nothing wrong with that!!
{hugs} to you!!!!
Our Family Blog.
Wow. Your friends responses are inappropriate on so many levels- I got angry just reading them (thanks pregnancy hormones). I would probably have tried to give people a civil response, but make it clear that their behavior is unacceptable (something along the lines of "we're happy and excited, and until you can feel the same way then I'm sorry but I just can't have such a negative influence in my life right now.").
As for the dog thing... like many PP have pointed out, there are a lot of good reasons to have pets around your children. It's still not a bad idea though to work on establishing who is the "pack leader" (to quote Cesar Milan-I love the Dog Whisperer) and to continue to work on basic obedience throughout your pregnancy.
You're right to focus on what is important now- the fact that you're having a baby. Good luck!
Ella born 12/21/11
I couldn't agree more with this.
Sounds like your friends lack social graces. Shameful really. Enjoy your pregnancy and don't think twice about what they say.
Like other's have said, I'd get some new friends! I plan on keeping BOTH of my dogs when this baby comes. They are a part of my family. I will however be cautious with them around the baby and not leave them alone with him/her, but that is only common sense (I mean on the floor - not in the crib). I can see them both being very protective and acting as a baby monitor as well.
As for the waiting to tell. We have chosen to wait to tell the general public and co-workers just because we're cautious. Our families knew at 7 weeks, a couple of friends knew earlier and a few more since then. I kind of side-eye those to who tell everyone right away, but it's because I would hate to have to un-tell if I had too. Obviously it's your choice though and you shouldn't feel bad about it.
The friend that tells you about m/c, needs a throat punch and like Mananana said, sucks at life. There's no reason for you to believe that will happen and you should enjoy your pregnancy right now for what it is.
I say you join your man and kids out sledding, relax a bit and have a laugh
I can't even touch on your "friend" who kept talking about the risk of m/c, that just makes me irate.
As far as the dog thing, people DO realize this isn't like Peter Pan where the dog dresses the children for bed and whatnot? Right?
I did just hear of another case of a kid getting chewed up by a ferret recently, but dogs are a whole different ballgame from small animals that can possibly climb into a crib!
Wow Amy!
First of all, I really don't think their is a "special" time to wait to announce your pregnancy. I really feel if you're excited and confident and want to share, that you should! 8.5 weeks is a fine time to share the news and your baby is going to be FINE!
I think sometimes people get caught in the negative and maybe it's jealousy or maybe they are just negative people, but they often have bad reactions to such positive news.
I remember going through this with my friend and step mom and it was more annoying than anything else. It's a shame that people have to be so negative during such an amazing special time.
Just focus on the baby and being healthy and enjoying your pregnancy. Also remember how many people who love you and are fully supporting you. Baby is fine and being pregnant is such an amazing feeling!
Wow...sorry you're surround by these negative people. I can relate. Apparently, my step brother in law told my mother in law he wondered if our baby would be ugly? Nice huh?? There's always drama with him and his wife, and it just makes me sick. They have major issues, but that's a whole nother post. The best thing to do is to just not even listen, and stay as far away from these people as possible. That's what I try to do. Some people will just always be negative.
As for telling early, that's strictly a decision that's up to you and your husband. We told everyone at 6 weeks, right after it was confirmed by my doctor. There's obviously always a chance at miscarriage, but just take it a day at a time, and stay positive!
Thats just wrong on so many levels!!!
We also told our families either on or around Christmas. It makes a wonderful Christmas present, huh?
I do have one friend that has been less than supportive so I guess in a way I understand. It makes it hard when you think that the people who love you no matter what are just so....... mean.