Is your DH/BF/spouse thrilled??

Haysbaby · January 2011

My DH kind of goes back and fourth with his feelings. He knew we were trying/not preventing but now that it's happened he's like I didn't know it would happen so fast. (Took 3 months) When I talk about it he seems uncomfortable and stuff at times. One min he is like sit dont eat this, dont do that and the next min he just seems like "arent you worried", etc. Any advice? I don't wanna pressure him and I'm sure he'll come around? Just curious if anyone had the same issue? Is it normal?

ilovemyusnsailor16 · January 2011

It's such an exciting yet scary experience for everyone. Its normal to have "doubts" ... give him time to adjust to the thought of a new life - after all this is a life changing experience!

Wishing you a H&H 9!

backinpgh · January 2011

Mine is thrilled but also freaking out. He's shared with me that he feels a lot of pressure now as the "provider" and all that, and he also feels helpless since I'm the one carrying the baby and he has no way to protect it, etc. A lot of guys feel that way but have difficulty expressing it.

ShannonSky · January 2011

backinpgh:
Mine is thrilled but also freaking out. He's shared with me that he feels a lot of pressure now as the "provider" and all that, and he also feels helpless since I'm the one carrying the baby and he has no way to protect it, etc. A lot of guys feel that way but have difficulty expressing it.

This. I've had 3 bfp's and DH has been worried about providing financially for all of them. The worst one was the 2nd bfp, he actually started applying for a second job. He's less stressed about it this time, but he JUST got a raise. And he still has made a couple "Are we OK?" comments. And we've been TTC for 9 months with the RE, so this wasn't a surprise or not preventing baby by any means.

JaysonandKristin · January 2011

DH is so excited. Having a baby already, he knows what's in store. He loves being a dad so much!! He might be more excited than me!!

lovelyophelia · January 2011

DH is excited but terrified of having a little girl because he cannot say no to me!

SusieBW · January 2011

Just before I got pregnant, DH had suggested that we start using condoms again (obviously we didn't), because he had just started a new job that involved him taking a pretty big pay cut. We agreed that him changing jobs and taking the cut was well worth it in terms of both of our quality of life (his old job was hell on earth for both of us), but we were nervous about the money to support ourselves, never mind a LO.

Fastforward to this week when I got a bfp on Monday, and I think he was more excited than I was. But overall, he goes back and forth too. He keeps saying how he thinks that we finally got pregnant now because his stress level finally went down when he changed jobs (we haven't been trying to prevent it for about 2 years). Yesterday, he was all cranky and depressed when he got home from work because he's so worried about money, and being a good dad, and all of the changes and new responsibilities and everything else that comes with it. He's been apologizing to me because I'm the one that has to actually carry the baby and deal with all of the gross/painful crap that comes with being pregnant and giving birth. He's not really extra protective of me, but he's definitely doing more around the house and doing stuff for me more than he ever has, even little stuff like when I just sat down on the couch and realized that I forgot my drink in the kitchen, he'll get up and go get it for me, where before he would've just let me go get it myself.

Augustmama1113 · January 2011

My DH is a bit more outwardly excited than I am. He wants to tell everyone. It's nice that he is as excited as I am. I'm sure the panic will set in soon enough!

daugustynski · January 2011

hes excited but very nervous. hes unemployed and feeling very pressured to find a job and fast..poor guy

lizzyopal · January 2011

sometimes i think my DH is more excited than i am! haha he's the carefree one in the relationship who's all "oh it'll be okay...we'll get through anything together" i'm just so glad that he has that attitude about it because i do enough worrying for the both of us!

alabaster_angel · January 2011

My husband is thrilled, he knew we were trying.

It can be difficult for some men to be excited or feel a bond with a baby until they see and hold it.

I'm sure that once you get an ultrasound of something that looks more human and he can feel kicks through the belly he will start getting more excited.

SailorGray · January 2011

I am sure he is thrilled, but we both are in the freaking out stage. This one was pretty much planned, but the reality of having an infant and having a 2 year old with a H that travels A LOT is causing us both a lot of anxiety. My normally super-relaxed H is losing sleep over it. We both are so back and forth on the whole thing. I am sure once we tell our parents, we will chill out because they really love to help out. We are more scared now than we were with our first (probably b/c we had no idea how hard it can be and now we do).

Treasa · January 2011

Your DH sounds like how mine was during our first pregnancy. At times he seemed really uncomfortable with the whole deal & once or twice I had to ask myself if we had done the right thing! However he makes a fantastic dad & adores our 4 year old boy.

This time around he is sort of the same where this pregnancy is concerned. I think it is very abstract & weird to him. I think sometimes he is afraid to express his emotion for fear of saying the wrong thing to me & sometimes when I talk about the pregnancy he looks totally lost or even like he doesn't want to know! And he was the one who really wanted this baby!

I am fine with it, now because I know what a good dad he is & when it comes to it, I know he is super supportive & will be there for us, even if he has difficulty showing his feelings!

Your DH will be fine. I think what you are experiencing with him now is totally normal!

nycinaugust · January 2011

I'm going to guess the freak-out thing is normal -- especially for a guy who's not really experiencing it on a day-to-day level like you are. Like someone else said it's just kinda 'abstract' for a guy since they're not having the same natural bonding experience that you are.

My DH keeps making jokes about buying a one-way ticket to Tahiti, Mexico, anywhere. I know he's using humor to try to deal any freaky feelings (and, frankly, we both get a good laugh over it) but I know he'll step up when the time comes.

SheLovesMrHip · January 2011

Considering I found out in the ER and just earlier in the week saw my OBGYN for a routine visit, I was shocked. Had to call my husband to come get me to drive me home, so I had to tell him over the phone! There was silence followed by a little snicker. We didnt think I was at all so shock was our reaction. For sure happy, but I was just told on Tuesday to wait due to my health, and then BAM on Thusday my HSG was at 52 sending a flag to the ER doc. So Im only 2-3 weeks. so early still.

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