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Parenting
? For those with 2 (or more!)
My son turned 2 in October, and we're expecting our 2nd in June. Maybe it's because I'm the oldest and I remember how difficult it was when my brother was born (we're almost 4 yrs apart), but I keep worrying about it how hard this is going to be for Luca. He's obviously too young to really understand what's about to happen, but we want to make the transition as easy as possible for him. We're also in the process of putting together his 'Big Boy' room, and it should be ready in the next few weeks.
So how did you make the birth of your 2nd special for their big brother/sister? Any tips for moving them into a new room?
Thanks Ladies!
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Re: ? For those with 2 (or more!)
We didn't do much, honestly. I mean, we talked about it a lot so he was excited to get a baby sister.
We made the big boy room transistion totally seperate from the baby thing, so his room was done and he was moved in and settled before we started doing a nursery. I didn't want him to feel like he was being booted for the baby.
When she was actually born-my parents were here and he was so caught up in the attention from Gramma and Papa that the baby didn't phase him. (also, she was born on Easter so he was 100% distracted by the butt load of candy my Mom brought) After that-he just fell into it, I let him be as helpful as he could and he loved his sister to pieces.
dd was only 19m/o when ds was born. we played with baby dolls, read books about being a big sister, 2 wks before I had ds , I took her out to pick out a gift for the baby. (baby had a gift for her too)... "they"/she opened them when he came home. I did not move her to a new room. I moved the full size bed in her room... gave her a month or so to adjust before setting up the crib for ds. he slept in a bassinet in our room for almost 3 months.
I'd move him to his big boy room as soon as you're able, to give him time to adjust and so he doesn't think he's getting the boot for baby.
Alex (11/14/06) and Nate (5/25/10)
"Want what you have, do what you can, be who you are." - Rev. Forrest Church
https://www.amazon.com/Joanna-Cole-Im-Big-Brother/dp/B0031XWL4G/ref=sr_1_12?ie=UTF8&qid=1295104498&sr=8-12
DS made me read that book 3x a night before the baby came. He was about to turn 2 when she was born.
Other than that, not much. He stayed in his crib, the baby slept with us, and that was about it.
DS - December 2006
DD - December 2008
ditto this.
we were lucky ds was such an easy baby. we continued with her normal activities and I got over my nip shyness. cannot tell you how many times I nip in the library after toddler time.
it was easier then on both of them. they went through the he's just there, it's still dd's world... then them playing together.... now they fight a lot. ugh! that's mine. that's my friend. they'll only be a grade apart.... I predict fighting for at least another good decade. help. me.
Everyone had really great advice! In addition to many of those, we let #1 introduce #2 to people. I think it helped reinforec the idea we're all a package deal
("We have a new baby in our family, his name is #2...")
As much as possible we helped #1 answer random questions about #2 as well when we were out in public (grocery store, mall, etc.)
We didn't do a whole lot, other than talk about the new baby often. We moved him to his new room several months before the arrival, to hopefully keep him from being "kicked out." We got him a little baby boy doll, stroller and bottle and practiced "nice" touches.
DS1 had no problems adjusting to his new brother. He loved him from the moment he met him and they've been best buds since. They rarely fight and play together great. I can honestly say I never noticed a moment of animosity or jealousy.
We did try to keep doing activities geared toward DS1. I just wore the baby in the wrap.
DD had just turned 4 when DS was born. We did a lot of fun/special things with her before his birth.
She got to have a slumber party with her friends when I went into labor and that made her day.
When she came to visit for the first time, I made sure that DS was fed and happy in his bassinet in the hospital room so she could "discover" him on her own. She was a little apprehensive about coming to the hospital, but once she discovered she could watch cartoons and order room service she was happy
There have been zero issues. DD is old enough to have her own "social life" and DS is a really mellow baby, so we've still been able to do a lot of the things we always did.
We occasionally leave DS with a sitter and just take DD to do something special and I make sure to spend quality time with DD in the 45 minutes between DS's bedtime and her bedtime.
We didn't switch rooms.
We talked to DS a lot about how he was going to get a little sister who was going to love him. I also started pointing out babies when we were out shopping or at a playground.
The weekend before DD came we gave DS a ride on tractor so he had something new to play with while I was wasn't able to play with him (c-section).
DD bought him a small present a that we gave him when he came to meet her. Nothing big just a little play Dr kit.
As for his room we did that totally separate from the nursery. We switched him over in early April and DD came in July. We let him be a part of the planning and he still talks about how Daddy and Papa made him a big boy bed (the put it together).
I had a lot of fear about DS adjusting to DD and he did wonderful. The only thing he ever said badly about her is that she cries (of course) and he's told me to put her down so I can get him some milk. He absolutely adores her.
Aiden 10.17.07 Emma 07.15.10
Evan loved that book. We read it pretty much every night in the months leading up to DS 2's birth.
2-3 years is a good age gap, I think. I do feel bad sometimes for my middle DS, because he was only 18 months when my youngest was born-- so I don't feel like he got to be the baby for long enough. But even he adapted well, and I think we do a good job of making sure they all get individual attention.
Don't worry. Your DS will be fine!