S/O being a houseguest

lms_bride · January 2011

If you visit your parents (yours, not in-laws), do you stay with them or stay in a hotel? Mine have a very small, old house that is drafty and cold. I hate to say it but I think now that we have 2 kids, I'm over wanting to stay with them. (There's only 2 bedrooms and one is so small that really only 2 of us can stay in there at a time) and like at Thanksgiving, it was me and the baby in the living room, on the couch and pack n play.

What do you do? I have a feeling I'm going to have to put my foot down next time we visit but I know its going to hurt my parents feelings, plus be a logistical extravaganza going between their house and a hotel between days/nights with 2 kids. Last time we were there, we tried leaving our older son to stay there at night while we went and stayed at a friend's with the baby (they had a room for us), but it didn't work out.

JOEBunny · January 2011

We have rented a house to visit DH's parents until his mom died. It just worked better. She would stay up until about 2:00 AM and sleep until 10 or 11. Just not at all on our schedule. They would come over to the rental for dinner and we would do something during the day. Fortunately, they live in a place where you can rent a 4 bedroom house for $150 a night with a pool and a hot tub!

Now that his mom is gone, we stay with FIL, but I miss the days of renting.

Dochas · January 2011

I would try leaving the kids again.

JenJar · January 2011

Both of our families are in the same town, but we never stay at my MIL's house. We always stay at my parents. However, we still share one bedroom. Next Thanksgiving we'll have the baby with us as well, so I'm not sure how it will work out. Whether we're in one bedroom at their house or in a hotel, we're still all going to be in the same room which will be cramped.

MAprincess · January 2011

My parents have a 5 bedroom house with plenty of room for us so we stay with them when we visit. They have their own toys up there and everything.

In your case, I think I'd probably do a hotel. I can't imagine anyone would be getting much sleep in the set up you described. You have to do what might work best for everyone. And well-rested usually works best for everyone.

pinkram · January 2011

We stay in a hotel. My two sisters still live at home and there are no extra bedrooms, so we'd be stuck in the living room on an air mattress with DS in the pack and play. Plus my parents' house is a mess and neither DH or I can stand the clutter or using their shower.

hellopoppyseed · January 2011

We are having the same thoughts now with two babies. DHs parents have a huge house so there's plenty of room. My parents are in the same town but are divorced now. My dad had two extra bedrooms and my mom just has one. We have the boys in seperate rooms now and I don't want to mess with either's sleeping. Also we have the added issue of dividing our time between my parents. We used to stay at both places for half the time but it is so very annoying to move all of the baby stuff from one house to another. Embassy suites is looking better all the time.

gatogrrl · January 2011

We stay at my parents. They have the (finished) attic all to ourselves, which is nice for privacy. DD stays in my old bedroom.

If I were you, I'd go to a hotel. My MIL has a super-small house and watches TV endlessly, so it's really hard for us to get to sleep or have any personal space there. I don't mind driving back and forth to a hotel, and like being able to get away when the time is right for us.

MrsBalletStar05 · January 2011

We stay with my parents.

TECHNICALLY they only have one additional bedroom....but it's the entire 2nd floor, so it's very large. There is one bed up there, but plenty of room for an air mattress and the pack n play. Then they also have the living room of course, or the fouton in the family room, or we could even put an air air mattress in the computer room. If we want, everyone could have their own sleeping area, BUT we do a lot of bedsharing and usually just sleep together in various combinations :-P lol

In-laws have a slightly smaller set-up, but still a decent size house and we all fit. I wouldn't stay there if anyone else was though.

My parents are wanting to move retire, sell their house, and move in 2 years though. So we shall see!

istalkgeeks · January 2011

I live within 35 minutes of both my mom and my dad/stepmom. So no, we don't stay there for any reason. They both have extra rooms though for guests.

When we used to visit my in-laws, before DS, we would always stay at my SIL's condo instead of their house. My MIL smokes indoors, stays up late, and there are two loud dogs that live there.

We are planning on going to visit my in-laws within in the next month and will stay at a hotel this time. Whenever we've stayed at my SIL, someone has to sleep on a fold out cot and I think we are beyond that with a baby.

jnksmom · January 2011

We stay with my parents more often than MIL but we do stay with her sometimes. My siblings are both moved out as well so my parents have 2 extra bedrooms(both have full size beds) and we have our own bathroom. My parents also bought a toddler bed that is in one of the extra rooms. DD sleeps on the toddler bed and DS sleeps on the full size bed. Then DH and I have our own room. There are plenty of toys at my parents house as well. MIL also has plenty of space and bought an air mattress for the kids to sleep on but we do not have the best relationship and it is uncomfortable/tense staying there.

If I were in your situation though I would get a hotel or try to leave the kids again and stay with someone else. Doesn't sound like a very good sleeping arrangement and no one is going to get much sleep.

mandymack · January 2011

I can totally understand why you are over staying with them, I would be, too!

For us, we stay with my mom; however, she has a three story house where we have our own Master Suite (attached bath) with plenty of room for us and Emily. So far, we've never had any sleep issues... we'll have to see once baby comes. I pressume Emily will want to sleep in "Gram's bed", as she has begged for in the past, and the baby can bunk with us. Or sleep in any number of hallways and other bedrooms. I guess my point is that there's plenty of room to spread out and have privacy. If there wasn't, we would stay in a hotel for sure.

lms_bride · January 2011

Ok I feel a bit better after reading all your responses. It sounds like for most of you, if you stay with your parents, you do so because there is plenty of room and it generally works. Clearly that is not the case for us. We are going to keep trying on getting my son to stay there overnight and be comfortable, but we'll probably get a hotel room next time. I think that will make me so much happier... it has already reduced some of my apprehension about our next visit. Ah, family is so fun.

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