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Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
Need advice (job related)
I've posted several times about how stressful my job is, and I'm at the point where I really want to move forward from all this worry! We're putting off TTC because I constantly worry that I'm going to lose my job, but I really want another LO! I work 45+ hours as a Clinical Director in a hosptial. I LOVE the people I work with, the patients, the salary, and the fact that it's near our daycare, but the stress is affecting all areas of my life. Of course, it doesn't help that the job market sucks. I know I need to either buck up and do the best I can and not worry so much that I'll fail, or look for something that I feel confident doing. WWYD?
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Re: Need advice (job related)
It depends on how much you guys need the money and if you can afford, emotionally, to be a SAHM and dh being the breadwinner.
For me, though, I couldn't take the stress of my job anymore. My boss was so incredibly hard on me that I lost weight in my first tri with Ava from the stress. I couldn't take it anymore. It was affecting my happiness at home and I was becoming depressed. Dh agreed to let me leave. I am hoping to get a part time job and thought I had one in the bag, but that might not have worked out. Dh, while he would like the extra cash, likes a happy wife more, so he told me not to worry about it. He makes a good wage, but we're worried about prepaying for 3 college funds.
Long story short. I totally feel you on how your job stress affects you. If you can find a similar job that would make you happier, start looking. Just the fact that you're looking to solve your problem sometimes takes some of the stress away. If you can't find another job right now and want to leave (and can afford to), make a list of things you can cut to make up some of the lost income until you can find a good job.
GL to you. And remember, ain't nobody happy if Mama ain't happy.
Well, that's a good question! I think it's a combination of deep-rooted self doubt and a boss who's a pitbull and not afraid to make me worry about my job security. Also, the person who did the job before me was demoted. In the five years I've been with the company, no one has stayed in my position longer than 1.5 years.
Wow. It sounds like you made the right choice! And you're right, no one's happy if mama isn't happy! I'm the breadwinner around here, and we couldn't survive on DH's salary, but I'm starting to lean toward looking for something else. Thanks!
Good luck!!
Yeah, I'd start looking or at least find something at the place you already are at that might be less stressful. I'm telling you, the fact that I was looking to leave and wasn't locked into that place forever lifted so much from my chest and make going to work every day a little more tolerable. I hope you find something to make you happy.
I worked at the same place (a school) for 5 years... for some reason, my 5th year was horrible!! The boss was the same, although they added some extra supervisor roles, so we reported to 2 people (basically, we were "watched" more). I also went down to part-time, which meant they had to add another person 1 day/week to help out with my job (they knew this though... they are the ones that approved it!!) so I think they might have been bitter. But it stressed me out so much, and I was miserable every single day, when I used to actually like going to work (and I was actually excited to go back after DD!)
I was considering looking for another job, and then they informed me that they still wanted me to work there but that I would have to work full time the following year. That made my decision for me! I started looking for new jobs, but didn't find one right away. I ended up telling my boss that I wasn't coming back before I had something else.... I just had faith that something would come my way, and that we would be ok. I felt like a huge weight had been lifted! Granted, I work in a field that is very much in demand and I had some ideas about where I would be going. I ended up getting a new job the following week, and while I miss the kids and coworkers, the stress has been significantly reduced! DD has been really sick this year, and things have been pretty stressful in my home life. I would have never made it had I still been working at my previous school!!
So that is a very long winded way of saying, definitely look for something else!! Once I made the decision in my mind that I would be leaving my previous job, I felt so much better (this was even before I informed them). Things tend to work out in the end, so just keep that in mind as you're looking. You will probably find something that's so much better for you!!
Being the bread-winner isn't a reason to allow yourself to be miserable. Sure you need to be responsible but if the stress is as bad as you say and it's affecting other areas of your life then things need to change.
I have been in the same boat. DH hated seeing me so miserable so we came up with a plan together of how things needed to change, and more importantly set a time line for these things to happen - of course you can't perfectly predict every outcome but sometimes just knowing there's a light at the end of the tunnel makes you feel better.
Start thinking about what you would need to make your current situation better as that would be the easiest solution and work from there.