"My first sibling died in May."

AmyRM · January 2011

My daughter Hannah turned 13 on January 3rd. (For those of you who aren't familiar with my background, I had Hannah alone back in university, and raised her alone until she was nearly ten - when I met DH. He's been the best father I could have wished for her. We've wanted so badly to give her a sibling; she was a huge part of our pregnancy and as devastated as us by the loss.)

So, when Hannah turned 13 she was finally allowed to have the Facebook account she's wanted for so long. Of course we insisted that she abide by the strictest privacy rules, and add us as friends so we can keep an eye on things. I strongly believe in allowing her freedom and privacy, but I also have a responsibility to know what she's up to.

Last week I was browsing her page and read a conversation between her and an old friend who we've sort of lost touch with the last few years. The two of them were commenting back and forth under her status, catching up. Hannah mentioned a few things about traveling and school - then said:

"My first sibling died in May."

(April, actually)

I choked. Reading that just broke my heart. The way she said it so plainly was just so sad. She knows we can talk about, and she has, but I also know she's talked with her friends about it (I found an "I'm sorry for your loss" card, hand drawn, from a classmate/friend in her room a while back). She's wanted a little brother or sister for so long, and will now be al least 14 years older than any one she gets.

I haven't been able to stop thinking about how she worded it.

GuppyAmy · January 2011

I'm so sorry. I can't imagine reading that. It's always hard to see the way that kids see/process things. It's good that her friends are supporting her through it thought too.

stillbaking · January 2011

Oh, my heart breaks for her. And you. (((HUGS))) I'm so glad she has friends who support her (the hand-drawn card is so sweet).

KristysRedBarn · January 2011

Oh my.. that's just heart breaking.

millejj1 · January 2011

I'm so sorry. That's incredible that she is that in tune with it and one of her friends was kind enough to recognize it. Big hugs

EricaK28 · January 2011

I am sorry. It does sound like your daughers freinds are being very supportive of her. Hugs Hugs to you.

butterfly843 · January 2011

((hugs)) sounds like your daughter has some supportive friends.

ColindaP · January 2011

That's so sad, but also so sweet. Hannah sounds like a wonderful girl.

mdm2137 · January 2011

I'm sorry Hannah has to deal with this too.

Olive44 · January 2011

I'm so sorry. That is heartbreaking. (((hugs)))

mizdiz444 · January 2011

That is so sad.

ColleenS629 · January 2011

Big hugs to you and Hannah! That's so sweet and sad.

cutebride73 · January 2011

(((hugs))) I imagine that must have been so hard to read. It is so sweet that she felt that connected to the baby. My heart aches for you both.

damabo80 · January 2011

Huge hugs. I would have choked up too.

michrocc · January 2011

I'm so sorry. Your daughter has a really, really wonderful friend, though, to have made her a card like that. I know a lot of adults who could learn a thing or two from your daughter and her friend.

::::::::big hugs::::::::

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