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Visitation schedule (thinking out loud, but input/reassurance is good :))
Right now, XH has the girls every other Saturday night (except he has to work both of the Saturdays this month, and occasionally it happens where he's on call and called in to work, or his plant shuts down for maintenance and everybody is required to be working).
When he's on night shift, he tries to pick up the girls for a couple of hours before he goes in to work, or until I get out of work. When he's on day shift, he picks up the girls and keeps them all day while I work on his days off. When he's on nights, he might see the girls for about three hours on the days that he chooses to pick them up (sometimes he's just too tired). When he's on days, he'll have the girls for 9-10 hours two weekdays.
He's asked if he can keep the girls on his Wednesday nights off (every other week) and I'm actually pretty gung-ho about doing it during his night shifts. I tend to get a bit more tired and run-down during night shift months (the days that he picks up the girls I get an extra hour of sleep two days a week because my commute is only ten minutes - if I have to drop the girls off at my mom's, my commute is about an hour, and then another hour in the evening). It is really nice to have a break.
I'm kind of iffy about the girls staying there when he's on day shift, since he ends up having them all day anyway. I feel like I don't get to see them much during the week since ODD usually passes out in the car on the way home from my parents' and he lives close enough that she's still awake when I get her home on the days when he has them.
On the other hand, it's only two more nights a month (he would have them four overnights a month total), and they are there the next morning anyway - it would save me a trip in the evening, him a trip in the morning, and I'd have two extra evenings a month to go out with friends, or go shopping, or just have quiet time.
I don't want to be a control freak about any of it, and I worry that that's what I'm doing if I say no... I know the girls miss their dad and are always happy to see him, and he says he misses them terribly, even though this arrangement was 100% his decision. I have never wanted them to be shuffled back and forth, and to have one real home, and I don't think that an extra couple of nights per month would make a difference...
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Re: Visitation schedule (thinking out loud, but input/reassurance is good :))
In my bag
d90
50mm f/1.2 * 28-85mm (Macro) f/3.5-4.5 * 70-300mm f/3.5-4.5
Opteka Fisheye Adapter * Lightscoop
That's exactly what I'm thinking
Right now my shoe-browsing and purse-groping time is very limited, and this could open it up a little bit.
I, too, am completely confused. Good for you guys for being able to keep track of that schedule! I feel a little anxious just reading it, lol.
While I had a hard time following that schedule, from your comments it sounds like you're leaning more towards allowing those 2 extra days a month. It's only 2 days and it would probably mean a lot to your XH and your girls.
If you're not feeling 100% sold on the idea, maybe suggest a trial run of a month or two to see if it's working and then re-evaluate?
I'm used to the schedule. XH has worked there for a little over three years now.
Yep, I'm leaning towards it. The way it works out right now is that except for every other Saturday night, I always have the kids when I'm not at work. And sometimes the Saturday night doesn't work out due to him being called in to work, or some beer-related event he wants to attend.
Since we've had this schedule the way it is for so long I guess I feel guilty for "ditching" the kids with him so I can have a few hours to myself.