So in my TTT, I mentioned that I am dealing with something DD is saying after coming home from daddy's house that is not cool. It has happened enough times now that I have already attempted to have a discussion with him about it which did not go well.
A little background...I was married and we had a child together. He always had a degree of control/manipulation to him (hindsight is 20/20) but this elevated to a whole new level after DD was born and he was not the center of my attention. Looooong story short, I ended things before DD turned 2. I could not let that be an example for her and it was not healthy for any of us. Not long after I left him I discovered my feelings for women and had my first GF. XH eventually figured this out of course. I ended things with that GF when it became clear things were not what I wanted them to be. I now have a GF who is quite honestly the best thing ever. There is mutual respect and love and honesty and all the things necessary for a successful relationship.
DD has come home from her dad's saying that "mommy doesn't like boys" and essentially that it is the reason that mommy and daddy aren't together. Mind you, DD is FOUR. And I am certainly not closeted, in fact my daughter will only ever remember me being affectionate with women. I am not opposed to explaining things on a four-year-old level to DD, should questions arise. However, I find the language he is using not appropriate for a four-year-old. To me it infers something that a four-year-old knows nothing about. And though he may choose to believe that my being gay is the reason I left him, it's not.
When I confronted him about it he said he's going to tell DD what he wants and what he believes to be the truth. I told him that my being gay is my thing to tell her, not his. He later sent me a scathing email about how I handled the situation and suggested that we sit down at another time to discuss. I emailed back and said I would be happy to discuss and asked that he suggest a place and time. This was 2 months ago and he never responded.
So...part of me says let it go and just tell DD that's silly when it comes up. But part of me also says this is crossing into ground that is confusing for DD and I don't want her to face confusion when mommy and daddy aren't telling her the same things. Maybe counseling for DD would help? But maybe that's too much.
Anyone have any thoughts on this? Thanks.