Parenting after 35

Does it make you sad to think how old you're going to be...

... when your kids graduate?  When they get married and have kids?  When you will be able to travel without kids? 

I will be 40 in April and while I know it's way more common now, I'm still usually the oldest mom with kids this age in the room. 

A woman I know posted a pic of her mom birthday party on FB and the cake said "Happy 50th!" .  I'm only 10 years younger than her mom and her mom didn't have her super young.  Ugh.

We decided to not have any more children, even though I would've wanted one more, because of our age.  Dh is 43.

 

Re: Does it make you sad to think how old you're going to be...

  • I'll be 40 in April & im 10 weeks pregnant. DH is 42 & my sons are 12 & 13.  Im trying not to worriy about it as you said it's more common now. But I still do & I guess I will always worry a bit . My mother was 42 when she me.  So it runs in the family!  LOL
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  • Sad? Maybe, but why dwell on it.  Nothing we can do about our age, so we might as well enjoy what's left of our lives. :)

    I'm more sad that I'm giving away his swing and bassinet this afternoon.  (WITH the caveat that I get them back IF we get pregnant again!!!)

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  • imageBlueEyedWitch09:
    I'll be 40 in April & im 10 weeks pregnant. DH is 42 & my sons are 12 & 13.  Im trying not to worriy about it as you said it's more common now. But I still do & I guess I will always worry a bit . My mother was 42 when she me.  So it runs in the family!  LOL

    First off, congratulations!

    Yeah, it runs in our families too.  My mom was 40 when she had me and dh's father was 43 when he was born.  I think that's what makes me worry a bit because we both remember being embarrassed that our parents were mistaken for our grandparents.  I know it will be different for our kids, though.

  • imageBrideBuddies:

    Sad? Maybe, but why dwell on it.  Nothing we can do about our age, so we might as well enjoy what's left of our lives. :)

    I'm more sad that I'm giving away his swing and bassinet this afternoon.  (WITH the caveat that I get them back IF we get pregnant again!!!)

    Aw, that will make me sad too.

     

  • I was more sad about it before I had Sabrina. My mom, sister, and grandmother were all grandparents by the time they were my age, FFS!  I became a great-aunt twice before Sabrina.  That's when it was sad for me.

    Now that she's here it's different for some reason.. not sure if it's because I'm so insanely in love with her right now that that's all I can think about or what, but I just don't let it get to me anymore.

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  • I'm not sad but I do think about it.  However if I had Thomas when I was lot younger I might not have been able to provide for him.  I'm older, wiser and richer ;)
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  • imagesuperaunt:

    I was more sad about it before I had Sabrina. My mom, sister, and grandmother were all grandparents by the time they were my age, FFS!  I became a great-aunt twice before Sabrina.  That's when it was sad for me.

    Now that she's here it's different for some reason.. not sure if it's because I'm so insanely in love with her right now that that's all I can think about or what, but I just don't let it get to me anymore.

    Yeah, I was a great-aunt 5 times before having my first child and there have been 3 born since!

  • I would be more sad without him.  I enjoy today and do not worry about what tomorrow holds.  I enjoy Michael at this age.  I could get hit by a truck when I leave work tonight and I do not want to waste energy worrying about if I am here for his graduation, marriage, children, etc. 
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  • not going to lie -- yeah, it does.  Not so much when they graduate HS or even college but when they are old enough to marry and have kids, yeah, that's depressing primarily because I'd like to be there to help my kids with their kids and realize that in the beginning, I may not be as physically able to help due to my age.


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  • Not really. I don't even think about it. Maybe it's because there are so many people in my life who are my age with very young kids that it doesn't seem abnormal. Maybe it's because I plan to stick around for a very, very long time and what difference does 10 years make when you are talking about 80 vs 90.

    As long as I take good care of myself, barring accident or disease, I can be just as good a mother of the bride at 65 as I could at 50. 

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  • imageMarried2003:
    I'm not sad but I do think about it.  However if I had Thomas when I was lot younger I might not have been able to provide for him.  I'm older, wiser and richer ;)

    I totally agree with this.  I wasn't ready to have Leah earlier in life...even if I thought I was.  I think about how old DH and I will be when she does things.  But she came at the right time in life for both of us.

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  • imageamtaka:

    imageMarried2003:
    I'm not sad but I do think about it.  However if I had Thomas when I was lot younger I might not have been able to provide for him.  I'm older, wiser and richer ;)

    I totally agree with this.  I wasn't ready to have Leah earlier in life...even if I thought I was.  I think about how old DH and I will be when she does things.  But she came at the right time in life for both of us.

    This is true for me too.  I actually look forward to travelling with R and letting her experience travel and different parts of the world rather than look forward to being able to travel without her. And if I were younger I don't think we would have be in a position financially to travel as much as we plan to in the future.

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  • Not really. My 21 y.o. had been embarrased of me anyway, even though I was always the youngest mother in her class, and strangers thought we were sisters. I remember she would tell me to hide at the mall when he saw her classmates there, or pretended she is not with me. How much worse could it possibly be?
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  • First - That picture of Adam and Ava is gorgeous.

    Second - I haven't really thought about it any other way.  My parents were over 40 when they had me and my younger sister, and I always felt like they were more secure and stable than the parents of some of my friends.  Heck, my friends thought and think my mom is the coolest mom ever, the stories from her life are so interesting!  My dad died at 69, it makes me very sad that he never got a chance to meet Margaux, but he died pretty young so having kids in my twenties wouldn't have made a difference there.

    It's a slow process, but I am cultivating friends my own age (42-43) with kids rather than trying to fit in with the younger moms.  I'm friendly with them and all, but I just don't connect with them and feel out of place.

    We're working on two (obviously) and if the fates allow, we might go for three.  :) 

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  • I am not sad about it. DH and I only met when I was 34, got married when I was 36 and had Sarah when I was 38. We are now expecting our second and that's it...I would have been really sad if I never had any children.

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  • I personally don't think we're that old - 36 and 37. And we're not freakishly old among DS's peers' parents in our area. If anything I worry about how he might relate to us maybe being older, but then I go to thinking that I hope he's glad we got to enjoy our young adulthood more than we would have had we had him 10 years ago.
  • imagePeppernut:

    First - That picture of Adam and Ava is gorgeous.

    Second - I haven't really thought about it any other way.  My parents were over 40 when they had me and my younger sister, and I always felt like they were more secure and stable than the parents of some of my friends.  Heck, my friends thought and think my mom is the coolest mom ever, the stories from her life are so interesting!  My dad died at 69, it makes me very sad that he never got a chance to meet Margaux, but he died pretty young so having kids in my twenties wouldn't have made a difference there.

    It's a slow process, but I am cultivating friends my own age (42-43) with kids rather than trying to fit in with the younger moms.  I'm friendly with them and all, but I just don't connect with them and feel out of place.

    We're working on two (obviously) and if the fates allow, we might go for three.  :) 

    Thanks about my siggy!

    My dad died at 63 and I'm also sad he didn't meet my husband or our children.  

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