??? Weekly Check-in ???

Re: ??? Weekly Check-in ???

• redshoegirl member

  January 2011

  (1) What week are you in/how old is your LO? Pushing 9 months (7 days to go)!
  

  (2) How are you feeling? Any new milestones or news in the last week to share? Teeth, teeth and more teeth! It's all about teeth these days. Both boys have gotten at least one more since the last check-in. *whew!*
  

  (3) Next appointment date?  Any big ultrasounds/other exciting stuff coming up? n/a
  

  (4) What's been your greatest BR challenge this past week? Not really a challenge, but we started "big boy daycare" with them this week - they're actually at their daycare instead of being watched by a friend of mine. I'd taken them in to play a few times last week so they were familiar with the space and the people, but I think they were still a bit overwhelmed by the kids. But they've transitioned really well - their nap times are on the short side (45 min), but they're sleeping there without needing to be rocked or patted so I'm not worried about it.
  

  (5) Is there anything your parents did while raising you that you'd like to repeat or avoid with your own child(ren)?

  The good stuff: my mom was always very supportive of our dreams and aspirations. We were always encouraged to strive for things, never told we couldn't do it. She was also good with discipline - not harsh, but she had very clear boundaries. I don't think any of us threw many tantrums in public because if she said she would walk out of the store with us, she'd do it (even if it meant leaving a full shopping cart of groceries in the middle of the store). 

  The bad stuff: Mom was/is very socially nervous, and extremely wary of us developing potentially romantic - even innocent - relationships. So my innate shyness was tacitly encouraged to the point where it was nearly crippling (although weirdly, she'd also often extort us to "be bold!", all the while keeping us as sheltered as she possibly could). And I often wasn't allowed to have much to do with anyone of the opposite sex, which meant I ended up spending years trying to work out why guys were so bad to hang out with and how I should talk to them (tip: like they're humans! ta da!). Lest you think I'm exaggerating - when I started college, I was 16 and still living at home. In my first week, I came home one day and told my mom a funny anecdote about something a male classmate said in a lesson. My mom's response: "What? Was he talking to you? Why? Was he hitting on you? I'm not sure you should talk to him." So - yeah. I won't be doing any of that.
  

  (6) How often do you and DH have date night? How did you find your babysitter? Do you wait until your LO is asleep and then go or do you put him/her down first? Ummm...never lol! The last time we went out was to a wedding, and we were back home by the boys' bedtime (Ben's parents didn't know their bedtime routine and since we'd only just gotten them back to STTN, we didn't want to tamper with it). Otherwise, we really don't go out much if at all.

  On the very rare (like less than once a month) occasion where we'd like to have dinner or see a movie, Ben's parents watch them. We don't have a regular sitter other than them (probably bad I know) although I have at least 2 friends that I'm sure would do it without hesitation.

  Depending on what we're doing, we either put them down before we leave or after we get back - dinner might be early and we arrive back home in time for bedtime, or a movie might be a late showing so we leave after they go to sleep. I'm sure there are a thousand reasons why we shouldn't do it that way, but oh well lol.
  

  (7) How did you arrange your parents' visits before or after you gave birth (meaning did one set come when the baby was born, and the other after; were both sets there for the birth; how long did they stay and help? etc) Ben's were local, so they visited at the hospital about 24 hours after the boys were born (we politely asked them to give us one day of "just us" and they did). They gave us some prepared meals as well. My mother visited for two weeks when they were about two weeks old, and was pretty hands on - she helped with feedings, changing, cleaning the house, etc. My dad and stepmom came out for two weeks when Will and Dash were older - around 3 months old.
  

  (8) Did you have pregnancy mood swings? What kinds of things would trigger it? How did you cope? Honestly? Not really. I was a little more emotional than usual, but not much. I didn't get weepy, and I can't recall a single incident where I went ballistic on someone for no reason. Mostly I just felt tired lol - too tired to get moody. 
  

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• SanHawaii08 member

  January 2011

  (1) What week are you in/how old is your LO? 2 months!  already!

  (2) How are you feeling? Any new milestones or news in the last week to share? I'm feeling much better - surgery today went well, and E was such a champ through the not being able to eat, the anesthesia, and the recovery.  He's on tylenol now, and a little fussier while sleeping, but he was already like that the last few nights, not sure why.  oh, and at his 2 mo appt on monday, he was 12lb 12oz!! 
  

  (3) Next appointment date?  Any big ultrasounds/other exciting stuff coming up? continuing our average of 1 dr appt / week , we have 2 months shots next week (was supposed to be earlier this week, but postponed due to surgery), and a follow-up with the surgeon the week after that.  his next "regular" appt is at 4 months.
  

  (4) What's been your greatest BR challenge this past week? The emotions leading up to surgery. 
  

  (5) Is there anything your parents did while raising you that you'd like to repeat or avoid with your own child(ren)?

  The good stuff: hrm.  this reminds me of an article i just read the other day - will start a separate thread about it - but they had very high expectations for me, and there was never any doubt in their mind that I would meet them.  Also, my mom was not the super strict, controlling, stereotypical asian mom, which I really appreciated.  Oh, and kind of random, but we spoke chinese at home, and I'm now very thankful I can speak the language fairly fluently.  Not sure how we'll repeat that, since MH and I speak english to each other, and while I'm supposed to be speaking chinese to E (MH's chinese is pretty horrible), I don't do a good job being consistent about it - need to keep it up!

  The bad stuff: Really, really bad communication - like, no communcation.  my parents and I never really *talked*, so I didn't tell my mom anything that was going on in my life in high school.  Also, as long as my grades were good, my mom felt like her hands were tied and she couldn't discipline me, b/c my behavior wasn't impacting my grades.  Hence, I made some pretty stupid choices (eg: dating a "bad" boy, following him to college instead of even applying to anywhere "better", had sex too young, etc...) and she had absolutely no idea about some of the stuff I was up to.  There were lots of specific things my mom did (or didn't do) that led to the lack of communication, but that's what it all boiled down to. 
  

  (6) How often do you and DH have date night? How did you find your babysitter? Do you wait until your LO is asleep and then go or do you put him/her down first?  No date nights yet...maybe we'll do something for my birthday in March?  We'll probably go early and come back before bedtime, as MH likes to go to bed early.
  

  (7) How did you arrange your parents' visits before or after you gave birth (meaning did one set come when the baby was born, and the other after; were both sets there for the birth; how long did they stay and help? etc) We tried to have everyone's visits be staggered, to spread out the time where we'd have help at home.  MIL came right after E was born for a week, my mom showed up a few days later and stayed for a month.  then MIL came back for another week.  Now my aunt is here for 2 weeks.  My dad will be coming next month.  We'll be taking E to visit FIL sometime later this year.
  

  (8) Did you have pregnancy mood swings? What kinds of things would trigger it? How did you cope? No, not really.  I think like Lisa, I was a little more emotional than usual, but didn't really ever get too moody or weepy.

  

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• redshoegirl member

  January 2011

  SanHawaii08:

  surgery today went well, and E was such a champ through the not being able to eat, the anesthesia, and the recovery. 

  Yaaay! I'm so glad it went well and he's doing well!
  

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• MauiWedding08

  January 2011

  SanHawaii08:

  I'm feeling much better - surgery today went well, and E was such a champ through the not being able to eat, the anesthesia, and the recovery.  He's on tylenol now, and a little fussier while sleeping, but he was already like that the last few nights, not sure why.  oh, and at his 2 mo appt on monday, he was 12lb 12oz!!  

  yay!  I was thinking about you today and hope you would report soon!

   

  re: parenting - is about a book?  I was reading about it in the nytimes it really made me think about a few things.  

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• MauiWedding08

  January 2011

  (1) What week are you in/how old is your LO? almost 11 mo!(2) How are you feeling? Any new milestones or news in the last week to share? J added another definitive word to his vocab - dog!  which is interesting since we don't have a dog!  This goes hand in hand with his new attachment.  He has previously never shown and interest in a particular object.  Enter stuffed dog bigger than himself that he got from my grandpa for christmas.  he drags it from room to room and also gives it hugs and kisses.  When it's missing he says dah-gah (different than da-da) and repeats until we go find the dog.    He can also point out dah-gahs in pictures. (3) Next appointment date?  Any big ultrasounds/other exciting stuff coming up? nada(4) What's been your greatest BR challenge this past week? nap strike - at daycare.  no idea what is going on.(5) Is there anything your parents did while raising you that you'd like to repeat or avoid with your own child(ren)? my parents are super supportive and put us kids before themselves in any situation.  The only thing I would avoid is the way they didn't really have any boundaries and were totally naive.  Fine for me, but it had some bad consequences for my sister.
  (6) How often do you and DH have date night? How did you find your babysitter? Do you wait until your LO is asleep and then go or do you put him/her down first? once a month or so.  Sometimes it's not really a "fun" date - such as a work party.  And sometimes it's a date day (like for sporting events).  We leave whenever convenient and 99% of the time he goes to my parents' house.  My mom usually comes to our house to put him to bed and 3 times he has just stayed at my parents' house overnight.  We also left him with DH's parents one night when we visited them and they put him to bed.  If my parents are OOT or busy some friends babysit for us.  They actually call us to see if Jack is "available" because they love him so much so we either use that time for a date night or just have them over to our house to watch sports and play with the baby. (7) How did you arrange your parents' visits before or after you gave birth (meaning did one set come when the baby was born, and the other after; were both sets there for the birth; how long did they stay and help? etc) MIL came out 1 week past EDD so he was 1.5 weeks old.  My parents/entire fam all live w/in 30min.  MIL was here for almost 2 weeks.  SILs came out for a long weekend during that time too.  FIL came at like 6 weeks later.  Not sure she was really "helping" I did all the baby care and she cooked a little but that wasn't really the point of the visit.  My main "helper" was my g'ma.  She came over a couple of times a week to clean, keep my company, and hold Jack while I showered, etc.(8) Did you have pregnancy mood swings? What kinds of things would trigger it? How did you cope? nope.  I'm not very emotional in general - pg didn't change  that.
  
  

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• inamra member

  January 2011

  SanHawaii08:

  (5) Is there anything your parents did while raising you that you'd like to repeat or avoid with your own child(ren)?

  The good stuff: hrm.  this reminds me of an article i just read the other day - will start a separate thread about it - but they had very high expectations for me, and there was never any doubt in their mind that I would meet them.

  First off, I'm glad to hear surgery went well!!
  
  I think I know which article you're talking about--the "superior Chinese mom" one written by the Yale prof? I have a dozen emails sent back and forth between my parents about how right they were and how ungrateful we are (addressed to my bro and I, neither of which has responded) because my dad ended up seeing the article (I had seen it last week and hoped they would never see it but alas, they did). *sigh* yes, I could totally go on and on in another post about this article!

  Sept 2008 Wedding | May 2010 & Mar 2012 Babies
  

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• inamra member

  January 2011

  (1) What week are you in/how old is your LO?8 mo soon! (2) How are you feeling? Any new milestones or news in the last week to share?Dry =P I'm OOT and I forgot my toiletries, so I'm in a desert, using hotel bar soap for my face. Luckily, I found a store & got face wash today.B's been cruising for the past week now! He's getting really good at side-stepping around the railings on his crib and pnp (of course, also trying to reach for things nearby while he's at it =P). He's also very proficient at sitting down from a stand--he'll let go with one hand to stabilize himself and then lean down and go plop on his butt. I think he figured it out (with enough thuds on his poor little head) that his butt is a nicer cushion to fall on  (3) Next appointment date?  Any big ultrasounds/other exciting stuff coming up?9 mo...we ended up having a dr visit last week because of his cold tho, just to make sure he's ok, esp since we were going OOT. (4) What's been your greatest BR challenge this past week?Traveling. Even tho we've done it a couple of times now, it's still really hectic/difficult every time IMO (maybe I just still can't let go of how easy it was before the baby?). This time, we flew with the pnp. But good thing SW has free check-ins! After this trip, I need to figure out how to make it easier.(5) Is there anything your parents did while raising you that you'd like to repeat or avoid with your own child(ren)?Ah haha, this should be a separate post in and of itself =P But I'll try to keep this short...What I liked/would repeat is that they're very attentive, my mother was very patient/caring and my dad taught us a lot of things (incl my profession & fav sport). They valued education greatly and helped us get into our careers.But their greatest strength was also their weakness. They're smothering at times (and my mom is uber needy), ie. I had a curfew until I was 25 (when I finally moved out)--yes, it was my fault for moving home after college but my thinking at the time was that maybe if I showed them that I loved them by moving back home, they'd soften their hearts and hear me out/consider what I wanted also (my dad and i had a pretty rough relationship all my life but he always wanted me to live with them)--ended up not working AT ALL. They're not very open-minded/too traditional about some things too. These things, I'm (and have been) avoiding. (6) How often do you and DH have date night? How did you find your babysitter? Do you wait until your LO is asleep and then go or do you put him/her down first?Not often at all. Maybe once/twice so far. The grandparents are our babysitters. We put him down first. (7) How did you arrange your parents' visits before or after you gave birth (meaning did one set come when the baby was born, and the other after; were both sets there for the birth; how long did they stay and help? etc)They both came right after the baby was born (that evening at the hospital) and visited our private recovery room. Both sets live nearby so they're always close enough to help whenever needed.(8) Did you have pregnancy mood swings? What kinds of things would trigger it? How did you cope?Only in the very beginning, when I first got pg. We were going to MH's family reunion, hit a deer on the way which ripped off our front bumper (and set our car alarm off every few hours in the middle of the night--prepping us for the baby probably =P), I went to ER for a massive eye allergy, and had some food poisoning--in one weekend. Let's just say I didn't take it very well and screamed "I don't EVER wanna go to any of your family reunions again" to MH on the way home =P I didn't know I was pg at the time and after we got back home, MH said "I think you're pg". But that was it. I'm not usually very emotional so I wasn't really moody until after the baby was born--during that first one month of baby blues.

  Sept 2008 Wedding | May 2010 & Mar 2012 Babies
  

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• MrsZiz member

  January 2011

  (1) What week are you in/how old is your LO? Bella will be 18 months on the 24th and I'm 30 1/2 weeks pregnant (yikes!)
  (2) How are you feeling? Any new milestones or news in the last week to share? I've been completely exhausted lately. This pregnancy has been way more painful than with B. Constant back pain, all over, not just my low back. And constant achy pelvic pain... oh and sex is great but afterwards I'm in pain for hours! It sucks!As for Bella, she's becoming more independent with doing things, she wants to do everything herself! New words: purple, bacon and pretzel!(3) Next appointment date?  Any big ultrasounds/other exciting stuff coming up? I need to make her 18 month well baby check and I have an appt next wednesday.
  (4) What's been your greatest BR challenge this past week? Bella has been fighting a cold and now she's waking up crying at night randomly. Usually we give her bunny and she goes right back to bed, now she wants up and then wants to cuddle. I'm giving in because I was sick with the same cold and felt like garbage so I want her to feel cuddled and loved when she's not feeling well. Oh and I'm starting to get nervous about leaving her to have this baby. We only leave her at daycare to go to work, never overnight... my SIL will keep her if I go into labor during the day but overnight I'd like her to still be in her crib and have her routine. I guess it will depend on what time I go into labor. If she's already sleeping my FIL will come here to be with her... but I'm sad about leaving her to have her brother!(5) Is there anything your parents did while raising you that you'd like to repeat or avoid with your own child(ren)?My parents were both very supportive of my dreams and goals and pushed me to achieve them... that said, they didn't push my brother as hard as they pushed me and he has issues...he's not very self driven and really could have used some pushing! I think they parented us both very differently and that caused issues. I want to try to be as fair with my kids as possible and have the same set of rules for them both. As far as discipline, they spanked us and I don't want to do that. My mom was more of a friend to us which was good at times because we could open up and tell her things but bad at times too because sometimes we needed more parenting from her. My dad was more stern.
  (6) How often do you and DH have date night? How did you find your babysitter? Do you wait until your LO is asleep and then go or do you put him/her down first? We've been trying to go once a month for the past couple of months because the new baby is coming soon and we'll have very little alone time! So we've made it more of a priority recently. We've been using his cousin (she's 17 to watch her) and that's worked out for us but she goes to college this summer so we're not sure what our plan will be. I like to wait until she's sleeping because she sleeps through the night if we put her down. We did have the babysitter put her down once before and she woke up a bunch through the night and it made me feel guilty like she was checking to see if we'd really "left" her. BUT going at 7pm means we're both ready for bed by 9:30 (we're old!) so it's not a very long "date"! (7) How did you arrange your parents' visits before or after you gave birth (meaning did one set come when the baby was born, and he other after; were both sets there for the birth; how long did they stay and help? etc) 'Ryan's were local, so they visited at the hospital once we gave them the ok to come ( a couple hrs after B was born) then my mom came the next day, she flew in and stayed for a week. Then my brother, my dad and my sister and her fam came, but they were all here at different times. It was nice but a little TOO much too. I would've liked to enjoy her alone a little more
  (8) Did you have pregnancy mood swings? What kinds of things would trigger it? How did you cope? With B nope! With grayson, a TON of mood swings, no trigger needed! I feel like a crazy woman since i can't control it really.... it's so strange. it's like I'm totally weepy one minute and the next I'm happy... it could be that this pregnancy is way more difficult though... and chasing a toddler whlie pregnant is hard work! How did I cope? Chocolate Or just talking to Ryan really helps a lot too! 

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• lelekay member

  January 2011

  
  

  (1) What week are you in/how old is your LO? Almost 6 months
  

  (2) How are you feeling? Any new milestones or news in the last week to share? I'm actually doing really well, and so is Henry.  I was sad at first going back to work after having 2 weeks off, but now I see that it's good for us both to be in a routine.  He naps better at daycare than at home, and is happier in the morning and evening because of it.  In fact, a week ago I was pretty down on myself for not being able to get him to nap the way they do (what do they do?!?).  This morning, though, we went in a little early and I talked to his two main teachers about his nap habits at school compared to home.  I think the biggest thing is that I fear I might need to stop forcing him to sleep in with me on weekends.  I know he needs a routine, but I've been lazy and if I pull him into bed with me, he'll sleep another 1-2 hours in the morning on weekends.  The problem is that then his naps are all off all day.  I think I need to bite the bullet and get up at 6am, even on weekends.   We're going to try it this weekend and see how his naps are then.
  

  (3) Next appointment date?  Any big ultrasounds/other exciting stuff coming up? a week from Monday for his 6 month visit and shots
  

  (4) What's been your greatest BR challenge this past week? Feeling down about the naps, by I'm feeling better now.  I always do better when I have a plan of action, and I've now just created one!
  

  (5) Is there anything your parents did while raising you that you'd like to repeat or avoid with your own child(ren)?

  I'd like to repeat how independent my parents made me be.  You're old enough to make a lunch?  Good.....here's lunch fixings, have at it.  You can reach the washing machine?  Good.....here's how it works, you're on your own for laundry.  You can work an alarm clock?  Good.....wake yourself up every day, etc.  I know this might sound harsh to some people who think good parenting means gently waking your child every morning (I'm not talking babies/toddlers, I'm talking in 3rd grade or so) and fixing them a breakfast of smiley pancakes every day before dropping them off at school with a sandwich with the crusts cut off), but that's not me.  I learned how to take care of myself at an early age, therefore I was not like my college roommates who didn't have a clue how to do their own laundry or overslept constantly since they never had to wake themselves up.....this drives me nuts!  This is not to say my mom didn't  do special things for me, quite the opposite, in fact.  But I came to realize that it was a treat and something to be grateful for to have my laundry occasionally done and already folded waiting for me when I returned from school, or a special breakfast on the table once in a while rather than cereal, as opposed to the way many kids automatically expect that everything be done for them all the time.

  Things I like to avoid?  Probably how strictly I was raised (by my stepfather before he left when I was 13).  I grew up with few friends, since I wasn't allowed to have anyone over to play ever, and my welcome always got worn out at their houses after a while.  We weren't allowed soda ever, no snacks between meals except for a carrot or apple, absolutely no eating or drinking anywhere but the kitchen, only G rated movies until I was 13, bedtime at 8:00 (in 7th grade!), and so on.  Certainly some of these are not bad things....I'd like Henry to have healthy snacks, too, and get enough sleep, and limit sugary drinks, and monitor what movies he watches, etc.  It just went a little bit too far sometimes.
  

  (6) How often do you and DH have date night? How did you find your babysitter? Do you wait until your LO is asleep and then go or do you put him/her down first? Ummm....we haven't yet.    But we're planning to soon, I promise!!!  You have to realize that we don't have any family within 300 miles except my sister (who's very busy and on call a lot), and until recently I wouldn't have left him with a stranger at night.  But we do plan to go out soon and leave him with a sitter.  Our friends use someone  they love, and I think we might try her.  I've met her a few times, and she seems very competent.

  
  

  (7) How did you arrange your parents' visits before or after you gave birth (meaning did one set come when the baby was born, and the other after; were both sets there for the birth; how long did they stay and help? etc) MH's parents came out for 10 days 3 days after Henry was born.  I don't know how much they "helped," though, except for making dinner every night (which was awesome!).  They're not used to babies, though.  My parents came just for 2 days while they were here (they all get along wonderfully), then again about a month later.  No one was there for the birth (I didn't want them there for it, and I don't they anyone wanted to be there, either.  They all wanted to some afterward).
  

  (8) Did you have pregnancy mood swings? What kinds of things would trigger it? How did you cope?  A little.  Mostly I was just so exhausted, though.  I went to bed earlier and earlier as it progressed.

  
  

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• Oceangirl22

  January 2011

  (1) What week are you in/how old is your LO?Kenley Vi was born on January 5th at 9:16am! She was 7 lbs. 3oz. and 20.5 inches long. She decided to come 2 weeks early. I posted my birth story on my blog if you want to check it out (link in my siggy). So she is currently 1 week old. 
  (2) How are you feeling? Any new milestones or news in the last week to share?
  I'm feeling pretty good. Luckily Kenley latched on right away so breastfeeding has been successful so far, I just feel like I'm always feeding her! My milk came in on day 3, so it's been so much easier since then. Delivery went well, so my recovery has been going well as well. I'm already back to my pre-pregnancy weight, but my belly still feels all jello-y. Just trying to get enough sleep so I don't run myself down.
  (3) Next appointment date?  Any big ultrasounds/other exciting stuff coming up?2 week appointment for her next week. We haven't actually seen our pedi yet because he sent a different doc while we were in the hospital and we saw his NP the day after we were discharged. 
  (4) What's been your greatest BR challenge this past week?To paci or not to paci. DH really wants her to take a paci because we have a big time sucker on our hands. I didn't want to introduce one just yet, so she really gets a hang of the breastfeeding. I'm about ready to give in, because she has been latching well, and I think she might need something to soothe her besides my boob! Can't find the Soothie brand anywhere, all sold out. She has spit out all the other pacis we've tried. So we will see!
  (5) Is there anything your parents did while raising you that you'd like to repeat or avoid with your own child(ren)?Not really from my parents, I think they did a pretty good job. I know that DH would change alot of what his mom did...specifically, raising our girl without fear. DH's mom was so overprotective of him, and she instilled so much fear in him that he wouldn't try new things. DH and I definitely want to encourage our daughter to not be scared to try new things and take risks...within reason.
  (6) How often do you and DH have date night? How did you find your babysitter? Do you wait until your LO is asleep and then go or do you put him/her down first?N/A yet! I'm sure we won't have a real date night for a while, esp since I'm BF but not yet pumping. 
  (7) How did you arrange your parents' visits before or after you gave birth (meaning did one set come when the baby was born, and the other after; were both sets there for the birth; how long did they stay and help? etc)This was my question, and actually it all worked out for the best. Because she came 2 weeks early, no family members were in town when I was in labor. My mom ended up flying out the next day, and she stayed for 5 days and was such a big help those first few days. DH's parents are coming this weekend for a few days, so we've been able to have several days in between with just us. 
  (8) Did you have pregnancy mood swings? What kinds of things would trigger it? How did you cope?I honestly didn't. I kept telling DH how luck he was to have such a non-hormonal wife! haha, I don't think he realizes what a great pregnant woman I was to him.
  (9) What questions would you like to see in upcoming check-ins?  For BF moms: When did you start pumping? How early did you introduce bottlefeeding to LO? And how far in advance did you start building a supply for when or if you returned to work? I have my pump all ready to go, but didn't want to start too soon. 
  
  

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• MauiBride2008 member

  January 2011

  (1) What week are you in/how old is your LO?  28w3d

  (2) How are you feeling? Any new milestones or news in the last week to share?  Feeling total exhaustion now.  It hurts to walk, to stay seated for too long - it's just going to get worse from here   Other than that I feel pretty good, I really can't complain since this pregnancy has been very uneventful.

  (3) Next appointment date?  Any big ultrasounds/other exciting stuff coming up?  I haved moved on to bi-monthly appointments now and I go in on Tuesday.  I have two more cervical length u/s to go through and I'm done with those!  Luckily, we have not degressed in length so all is well

  (4) What's been your greatest BR challenge this past week?  Just trying to get through the day w/out falling asleep at my desk.  Also, my circulation in my legs sucks now!  They feel tight all the time.  I try to walk around throughout the day, but it doesn't seem to help.  It has been nice to feel him move all the time now and really feel how active this little guy is

  (5) Is there anything your parents did while raising you that you'd like to repeat or avoid with your own child(ren)?  Straight up using your MANNERS!  I get so annoyed when children now and days have no manners whatsoever.  It irks me to no end!   

  (8) Did you have pregnancy mood swings? What kinds of things would trigger it? How did you cope?  I don't think I have had mood swings, but you can ask MH about that one   For the most part I feel I have been pretty even-keel with things for the most part.  I do tend to stress out a bit more if things aren't done the way or when I want them too.  I feel like I'm way behind on getting the room prepared for this guy.  We still have painting to do and I feel so behind!  I'm going to AZ this weekend for my first baby shower so after that, I can complete it.  I just have to keep thinking "one day at a time". 
  

  
  
  
  | Olowalu, Maui ~ August 6, 2008 |
  | Family of 4 ~ April 2, 2011 |
  | Family of 5 - October 24, 2012 |

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• lola808

  January 2011

  inamra:

  SanHawaii08:

  (5) Is there anything your parents did while raising you that you'd like to repeat or avoid with your own child(ren)?

  The good stuff: hrm.  this reminds me of an article i just read the other day - will start a separate thread about it - but they had very high expectations for me, and there was never any doubt in their mind that I would meet them.

  First off, I'm glad to hear surgery went well!!
  
  I think I know which article you're talking about--the "superior Chinese mom" one written by the Yale prof? I have a dozen emails sent back and forth between my parents about how right they were and how ungrateful we are (addressed to my bro and I, neither of which has responded) because my dad ended up seeing the article (I had seen it last week and hoped they would never see it but alas, they did). *sigh* yes, I could totally go on and on in another post about this article!

  This was a very interesting article! It got me thinking a lot about the pluses and minuses of both approaches to child-rearing.
  

  

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• inamra member

  January 2011

  Oceangirl22:

  (1) What week are you in/how old is your LO?

  Kenley Vi was born on January 5th at 9:16am! She was 7 lbs. 3oz. and 20.5 inches long. She decided to come 2 weeks early. I posted my birth story on my blog if you want to check it out (link in my siggy). So she is currently 1 week old.  

   

  Yay! Congrats again You're the first one of 2011! I'm adding her to the weekly check-in list! 

  Sept 2008 Wedding | May 2010 & Mar 2012 Babies
  

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• inamra member

  January 2011

  lola808:

  inamra:

  SanHawaii08:

  (5) Is there anything your parents did while raising you that you'd like to repeat or avoid with your own child(ren)?

  The good stuff: hrm.  this reminds me of an article i just read the other day - will start a separate thread about it - but they had very high expectations for me, and there was never any doubt in their mind that I would meet them.

  First off, I'm glad to hear surgery went well!!
  
  I think I know which article you're talking about--the "superior Chinese mom" one written by the Yale prof? I have a dozen emails sent back and forth between my parents about how right they were and how ungrateful we are (addressed to my bro and I, neither of which has responded) because my dad ended up seeing the article (I had seen it last week and hoped they would never see it but alas, they did). *sigh* yes, I could totally go on and on in another post about this article!

  This was a very interesting article! It got me thinking a lot about the pluses and minuses of both approaches to child-rearing.
  

  Yes! That too MH and I had a good discussion after we read it actually! It was only until after my parents read it, when I was like nooooooo! 

  Sept 2008 Wedding | May 2010 & Mar 2012 Babies
  

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• MrsNicole&Brian808

  January 2011

  (1) What week are you in/how old is your LO?  12 weeks 1 day
  

  (2) How are you feeling? Any new milestones or news in the last week to share?  A lot has happened since my last check-in, but the most recent things are that H has found his thumb and often sucks on it to soothe himself and he's also started to purposely grabbing at his activity mat toys.
  

  (3) Next appointment date?  Any big ultrasounds/other exciting stuff coming up?  His 4-month check-up and 2nd round of shots is on Feb 21st.
  

  (4) What's been your greatest BR challenge this past week?  This is MH's 2nd full week back at work.  I know I've been blessed to have him around all this time, but being home alone with LO all day can get a little overwhelming.  Plus, MH is so exhausted by the time he gets home from work that he doesn't really engage with Hank, who's been missing his daddy all day.  We've talked about it and are working on it.
  

  (5) Is there anything your parents did while raising you that you'd like to repeat or avoid with your own child(ren)?

  I recall my parents being very supportive when I was younger, but we didn't really have open communication.  There were things I'd never share with them, even if I needed help.  I'd like my own children to feel that they can come to us to ask for help or just to talk, no matter what the subject is.  And I'd like to think that we would be able to help, while still being "parents".  I suppose it's a balancing act.

  One thing I want to do differently is to ensure that our marriage is as strong as it can be.  Let's just say that my parents didn't have the best marriage and it really affected my younger brother and I.  They finally divorced after 26 (mostly miserable) years of marriage, and, to be honest, it was a relief to me.  Towards the end, when things got really bad, I saw that they weren't my "parents" anymore.  My dad shut down and my mom tried to become our best friend (perhaps out of guilt and wanting to win our favor).  Anyway, so yeah, this one is really important for me.
  

  (6) How often do you and DH have date night? How did you find your babysitter? Do you wait until your LO is asleep and then go or do you put him/her down first?  Aside from attending MH's Christmas party when Hank was 7 weeks old, we haven't had a real date night yet.  We've noticed that when I'm not around (running errands, etc.) Hank doesn't eat well from the bottle (he rarely gets a bottle) and will only take ~1.5 oz at each feeding.  I think he does that just to take the edge off and tries to wait for me to come back.  He did this while my mom was watching him and since he wasn't eating much, it seemed like he was constantly fussy and wanting to eat.

  (7) How did you arrange your parents' visits before or after you gave birth (meaning did one set come when the baby was born, and the other after; were both sets there for the birth; how long did they stay and help? etc)  Our families all live nearby.  My dad and ILs came to the hospital the evening Hank was born.  My mom came the following day.  My dad and ILs came over the day we went home from the hospital and my mom spent the night.  Everyone was very helpful.  Those early days would have been so much more difficult without them.
  

  (8) Did you have pregnancy mood swings? What kinds of things would trigger it? How did you cope?  I don't recall having mood swings...MH might have a different opinion.  I did have the baby blues pretty bad, though.
  

  (9) What questions would you like to see in upcoming check-ins? 
  

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• redshoegirl member

  January 2011

  lelekay:

  
  
  

  I'd like to repeat how independent my parents made me be.  You're old enough to make a lunch?  Good.....here's lunch fixings, have at it.  You can reach the washing machine?  Good.....here's how it works, you're on your own for laundry.  You can work an alarm clock?  Good.....wake yourself up every day, etc.  I know this might sound harsh to some people who think good parenting means gently waking your child every morning (I'm not talking babies/toddlers, I'm talking in 3rd grade or so) and fixing them a breakfast of smiley pancakes every day before dropping them off at school with a sandwich with the crusts cut off), but that's not me.  I learned how to take care of myself at an early age, therefore I was not like my college roommates who didn't have a clue how to do their own laundry or overslept constantly since they never had to wake themselves up.....this drives me nuts!  This is not to say my mom didn't  do special things for me, quite the opposite, in fact.  But I came to realize that it was a treat and something to be grateful for to have my laundry occasionally done and already folded waiting for me when I returned from school, or a special breakfast on the table once in a while rather than cereal, as opposed to the way many kids automatically expect that everything be done for them all the time.

  Me too! The minute we were old enough to handle dishes without breaking them, we had to wash our dishes (no dishwasher). We made our beds, cleaned our rooms (not just picking up toys - vacuuming etc. too), did laundry, fixed breakfast and lunch, etc. etc. It's not that Mom didn't do stuff for us, because she did...but we were expected to pitch in and do what we were capable of doing to help maintain the household. None of us - not even my brother - left home without knowing how to take care of ourselves by cooking and cleaning.
  

  Related topic - my mom didn't believe in paying for chores. She said that chores were the price of living in the house.  I sort of agree with that and sort of don't - the plan Ben and I have is that each boy will have a list of "their" chores (e.g., make bed, clean room, wash dishes, etc.), but if they do anything above and beyond that (like weed the yard or wash the car) then we'll give them a small sum to help teach them about earning money.
  

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• SanHawaii08 member

  January 2011

  inamra:

  Oceangirl22:

  (1) What week are you in/how old is your LO?

  Kenley Vi was born on January 5th at 9:16am! She was 7 lbs. 3oz. and 20.5 inches long. She decided to come 2 weeks early. I posted my birth story on my blog if you want to check it out (link in my siggy). So she is currently 1 week old.  

   

  Yay! Congrats again You're the first one of 2011! I'm adding her to the weekly check-in list! 

  congrats!!  and you didn't think she'd be born at 38 weeks   glad your labor and birth went so smoothly, sounds like things are going really well!
  

  

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• MrsZiz member

  January 2011

  MrsNicole&Brian808:

  One thing I want to do differently is to ensure that our marriage is as strong as it can be.  Let's just say that my parents didn't have the best marriage and it really affected my younger brother and I. .  Anyway, so yeah, this one is really important for me.
  

  My parents divorced after 13 yrs and most of them were miserable too (ok like 75% of them) and Ryan's parents are divorced too. I think having a strong marriage and relationship is VERY important! That's why our date night is planned for this coming week We need it, for us, for her, for Grayson! A strong relationship is the key to successful parenting in my opinion. 

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• MrsNJSwimmer member

  January 2011

  (1) What week are you in/how old is your LO?  14 months

  (2) How are you feeling? Any new milestones or news in the last week to share? I have been going to the dr for headaches, had my annual gyn appt, and he told me I should go get a baseline mammogram.  Dreading it.  Also having an abdominal sono next week to see if my gallstones are still there, since my reg doc thinks that's why I had to go to the hospital last month with the vomiting. 

  (3) Next appointment date?  Any big ultrasounds/other exciting stuff coming up? for LB - 15 month checkup next month - for me - ab sono next week.

  (4) What's been your greatest BR challenge this past week?  temper tantrums at bedtime; night terrors

  (5) Is there anything your parents did while raising you that you'd like to repeat or avoid with your own child(ren)? I have to chime in on the independence thing.  I have to say my parents were inconsistent with us on that one.  I have been using an alarm clock to get up since I was 6 or 7 yrs old, showering and getting ready for school on my own.  My dad would make my lunch, but only b/c he was making his own and just made 2 sandwiches instead of one.  I got my own breakfast (cereal) in the mornings, and breakfast was mandatory.  My brother who lives at home and is 29 still needs my mother to wake him up.  Oy.  Anyway, we didn't have much of a relationship with my parents to tell them stuff or ask stuff, and I hope I can have a better relationship with LB in that regard, but he will know how to do stuff on his own. 

  (6) How often do you and DH have date night? How did you find your babysitter? Do you wait until your LO is asleep and then go or do you put him/her down first?  We don't, sadly.  We left him with adult friends of ours (whose kids are grown) twice - once to go to a CPR class when he was 1 week old and the other for something else (can't remember what).  He's got terrible separation anxiety, so it's just something we live with.

  (7) How did you arrange your parents' visits before or after you gave birth (meaning did one set come when the baby was born, and the other after; were both sets there for the birth; how long did they stay and help? etc)  there were mega controls here in the hospitals b/c he was born during the H1N1 scare, so no parents at the birth - we went home from hospital on Thursday, and my parents came Friday afternoon and stayed the weekend.  They've been up about once/month since.  We thought my ILs would be here more, but they've only been here like 2-3 times since he's been born.  

  (8) Did you have pregnancy mood swings? What kinds of things would trigger it? How did you cope?  Oh yeah, weird things would set me off.  I would laugh so hard, I would start crying and then get REALLY SAD!  It was so weird.  My husband is a funny guy, but he really had to stop making me laugh so much when I was pg b/c it would often turn into waterworks!  I am not a crier normally either, so this was really weird.  I just made sure I was always carrying tissues and letting people know I was having the mood swings (like at work).  I also took on a new position (same company just in a different location), which was stressful, but almost like having a new job where you just have to be more on your toes, kwim?  So that helped keep me in check too. 
  

  Blog

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• mrspresley

  January 2011

  (1) What week are you in/how old is your LO?

  she just turned 14 months on Wed
  

  (2) How are you feeling? Any new milestones or news in the last week to share?

  she said the word for "kiss" in Vietnamese... we have been telling her to give us a kiss for a while now but the other day she said it herself for the first time

  she has also learned to say "no more," "happy," and says "yay" when she uses the potty now (mimicking me).  she also runs to give you a hug when I say the word "hug" in Vietnamese to her for some reason it is hit or miss when I just say "hug" in English but when I say it in Vietnamese she responds much better
  

  (3) Next appointment date?  Any big ultrasounds/other exciting stuff coming up?

  15 month appt in late Feb for her and annual/pap for me in early Feb
  

  (4) What's been your greatest BR challenge this past week?

  dealing with her big boo boo she fell on her face (I posted on FB) and busted her lip and bruised her gums. she was ok the first night (right after it happened) but then the 2nd day her mouth hurt at dinner time and she could not eat until we gave her motrin....and then she woke in the middle of the night from pain so we had to give her some tylenol.  she seems to be ok now so hopefully tonight is better
  

  (5) Is there anything your parents did while raising you that you'd like to repeat or avoid with your own child(ren)?

  i agree that this could be a separate post in and of itself! i'll try to sum it up though...

  what i'd like to repeat.... i would like for her to have a healthy respect for us and what we teach her...to be hard working and disciplined and driven to go above and beyond in everything that she does...to have the confidence to do anything she sets her mind to

  what i would like to avoid.... i don't want to be too strict w/her to where she goes overboard rebelling when she moves out finally... i don't want her to feel like she can't come to me about things (would like to strike a nice balance between being a "parent" vs a "friend").... i want her to know w/o a doubt that i love her - my parents were very typical Asian and their way of showing love was through providing for us, not with words of affirmation or physical affection.

  there is probably a lot more but i've got a toddler running around right now that i need to get back to supervising
  

  (6) How often do you and DH have date night? How did you find your babysitter? Do you wait until your LO is asleep and then go or do you put him/her down first?

  not often it's hard w/his schedule and we don't have family nearby really so we have to pay for a sitter... we've had 2 date nights since she was born.  hoping to do it at least once/month in the future though

  first time we put her down first and then went, b/c i wanted to see that she was ok before leaving and the second time we had the sitter put her to bed (also asked her to text us when she fell asleep so I could enjoy the rest of the night w/o worrying LOL)
  

  (7) How did you arrange your parents' visits before or after you gave birth (meaning did one set come when the baby was born, and the other after; were both sets there for the birth; how long did they stay and help? etc)

  my mom came before she was born and stayed w/us about 3 weeks total...everyone else came at thanksgiving when she was about 10 days old and stayed 1 wk.
  

  (8) Did you have pregnancy mood swings? What kinds of things would trigger it? How did you cope?

  i wasn't extremely moody but i was definitely moody, it was like PMS mood swings but all the time :P nothing too bad, though, i don't think.
  

  Lemon Poppyseed Muffins

  

  

  

  Jaime & Brent
  Oahu, Hawaii | Sept. 9, 2005

  My Food Blog - Good Eats 'n Sweet Treats

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• Married2MrWright member

  January 2011

  (1) What week are you in/how old is your LO?

  11 months and 3 weeks old

  (2) How are you feeling? Any new milestones or news in the last week to share?

  Libby can walk with a push toy now...she goes up and down our hallway, it's so cute! She also can stand on her own without holding onto things, so I imagine very soon she's be walking on her own.

  She also become REALLY verbal lately...she has a lot of words now...mama, dada, gha (grandma), puppy, kitty, cup, clap, car, nigh-night, bumblebee, purple, hippo, hi, kiss (she makes a cute kissy/fish face...and sucks her cheeks in...so cute). She also has a ton of made up words that she uses consistently but we have NO idea what they mean!

  (3) Next appointment date?  Any big ultrasounds/other exciting stuff coming up?

  Her first birthday party will be next Saturday. We have her one year old/smash cake photo shoot on Feb. 5 and her 12 month old check-up at the pedi on Feb. 9.

  (4) What's been your greatest BR challenge this past week?

  Transitioning her to her crib and letting her CIO. Last night and tonight (Days 4 & 5) she only cried fussed for 15 minutes. So it's getting better. Last night she went down after 15 minutes of fussing and stayed asleep until 11:30 p.m. when J set off the car alarm and woke up the whole house! He felt so bad. I nursed her in her nursery rocker and put her back in her crib and she cried for about 5 minutes. She slept there until 5 a.m. I get up at that time for work so I nursed her back to sleep in our bed so she'd sleep-in for J.

  (5) Is there anything your parents did while raising you that you'd like to repeat or avoid with your own child(ren)?

  Ugh, where to begin?! We're both children of divorce and addicts and both of those things we want to eliminate from our family's legacy for our children. There was physical and emotional abuse too, and again, we don't want to repeat that with our children. I don't ever want my kids to feel like they have to walk on eggshells around us. I want there to be open and honest communication. We plan to set firm boundaries and to be consistent but also to use gentle discipline and positive parenting techniques.

  I would like to instill the sense of responsibility that my parents instilled in me...mainly from my mom...like Lisa and Leah, I learned to do my laundry, clean, cook, etc. from a very young age and I was more than ready at age 17 to live on my own when I went off to college. I want my children to understand hard work and the value of a dollar. I want them to respect themselves and their elders and to have good manners and a sense of  service towards others. I also want them know that we love them unconditionally and to demonstrate that in our actions and words daily. I was always told that I could be anything I wanted to be and in many ways, that has shaped who I am today. I also want them to know that while I might not always support their choices or actions, I will always support and love them and want them to be happy and achieve their full potential, whatever that may be.

  
  (6) How often do you and DH have date night? How did you find your babysitter? Do you wait until your LO is asleep and then go or do you put him/her down first?

  Since Libby was born we've had four dates nights...one when she was about 4 weeks old and our BFFs came to visit. One for our anniversary. One for my birthday and one just few weeks ago for no real reason at all other than it had been a long time since we'd been to the movies! My mom always watches her for us and we aim to get home before 9 p.m. 

  (7) How did you arrange your parents' visits before or after you gave birth (meaning did one set come when the baby was born, and the other after; were both sets there for the birth; how long did they stay and help? etc).

  My mom lives with us, so no arrangement needed there. She was there for the birth and came to the hospital the next day. She was there from day one when we brought Libby home and has been a HUGE help to us with her.

  My MIL and SFIL live 90 miles away and they came out for the day (after much drama and prodding) when she was about 3 weeks old. My dad lives in Alaska and came for 10 days when she was about 3 months old. We arranged for my mom to go visit my brother in CA and my dad stayed with us in her room rather than the twin bed in the nursery. We took her to meet my FIL and SMIL over Thanksgiving.

  Our BFFs came out when she was 4 weeks old and my other BFF came the following week when she was 5 weeks old. My SIL came for a week when she was 5 months old and we took her to meet my brothers and extended family in CA when she was 7 months old.

  (8) Did you have pregnancy mood swings? What kinds of things would trigger it? How did you cope?

  I did...mostly crying jags. Anything could set them off...sentimental music...articles online or in magazines, commercials on TV, etc. I just went with the flow and cried when I needed to. I was also anxious, mainly in the first tri and third tri after I was dx with GD. Blogging about it and posting here were my saving graces. 

   

  (9) What questions would you like to see in upcoming check-ins?  
  

  TTCers:  Which cycle are you on?  Where in the cycle are you?  What, if anything, are you doing/trying for TTC success?

  Not TTC just yet, but tracking fertility signs on FF again. I plan to try and drop another 20-30 lbs. before we TTC at the end of this summer.

  
  TTC/PG Blog | Mommy Blog
  
  
  

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