Military Families

It was suggested...

Whheellllll

See my husband and I got back together and I have  not told my mother. On top of this we are moving end of Feb first part of march to DH duty stations... I could use some suggestions. I just dont want to deal with her drama....

Re: It was suggested...

  • Well my only suggestion is that you deal with it.
    If you're going to be married and moving there's not much she can do about it,
    and if you're old enough and mature enough to be doing those things then you should be mature enough to just tell your mother (politely) how it is, and leave it at that.

    Not trying to sound snippy, just my opinion.

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  • imageKNZ0508:

    Whheellllll

    See my husband and I got back together and I have  not told my mother. On top of this we are moving end of Feb first part of march to DH duty stations... I could use some suggestions. I just dont want to deal with her drama....

    I really am not trying to be snarky.  But part of being married is being mature enough to handle ALL of life's stressors as a new family unit. 

    That means dealing with your extended family as secondary people to your husband/children (ie nuclear family).  That also means owning up to any mistakes you made AND to the resolution to those mistakes (ie your choice in staying in a troubled marriage). 

    Call your mother this morning and just tell her.  Start the conversation off by asking her to let you speak first, so you can get everything out there. 

    Then LISTEN to her response.  And I mean really listen to her, and then take the advice given under consideration.  that does not mean you DO it, just that you think about it.  But you should not discount her OR anyone's advice just because of their relationship to you.  They may just have the right solution for you.  

    And if she gets beligerent, then you politely tell her (even if you have to calmly talk over her) that you will not argue with her and you will talk to her in a couple days - then hang up. 

    Look, military life is harder than the average one.  We have more situations that cause stress then the "normal" couple, to include telling our extended families about the next move (my own military spouse mother freaked when we got PCSed overseas).  You need to deal.

     

    file:///Users/Ilumine/Desktop/Family%20Portrait%20for%20gift.jpg
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  • I do not take any of this wrong and I know what you are saying is correct. The issue with my DH and my mother is way deeper than I explained is what is making this tough. I am worried by telling her that my daughter and I will get kicked out before we are relocated.
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