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Potty training vent: You know how they always say...
...not to stress about potty training, because it's not like they'll be 20 and still not trained?
Sometimes I think my daughter will be that 20 year old still peeing in her underwear. I try not to get discouraged that some of you have children that are over a year younger than her that are further along than she is. I know I shouldn't compare, but for pete's sake, we've been potty training her for almost 2 years. And I'm talking daytime training. I haven't even thought about nighttime. I'm so over it. I'm having a hard time controlling my frustration, especially times like yesterday before school, when we were doing her hair and she started doing the "I've got to pee" dance. I noticed and told her to go use the toilet. She went over to the toilet and I left the room to take care of something. I came back in and she hadn't gone, saying that she didn't need to go. Not 10 seconds later, she peed standing right there.
I know they say not to show frustration and just change her and not make a big deal out of it. But it is SO hard when I know she is deliberately peeing in her underwear, after 2 YEARS. I just don't know what to do. She has poop issues--she gets constipated and I think maybe she's just afraid of using the toilet, even to go pee, because she thinks about the pain she has when she finally does poop. I think that's part of it. But holy hell, I'm just at a loss.
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Re: Potty training vent: You know how they always say...
j+k+m+e | running with needles
Have you talked to the Dr. about? My first thought is to make sure there is nothing else going on medically. A family friend her middle son was 7 before he stopped needing pull-ups at night. Their Dr. ruled out all complications and told them that at 8 years old they would discuss other alternatives. She said that physically it just takes some kids longer to grasp than others.
Hang in there I'm sure you are doing all that you can!!
I have no advice but just wanted to say that it sounds very very frustrating. I agree with the PPs who suggested going to the doctor about her constipation.
Hannah is 3, right? To me it also sounds like a control issue. Sarah still wet her pants a bunch at that age. To this day (she'll be 5 in June), she doesn't want to stop playing to use the bathroom. I'm STILL constantly prompting. It's slowly improving and she hasn't had a full-blown accident in a while, but she will still wet her pants occasionally without fully emptying her bladder. At least she's learned a little more control!
In our house, the differences between our children and how they have potty trained is nothing short of striking. E. just went to the potty on her own (#2) completely unprompted and with no assistance. She'll be 3 in a month. Sarah was easily a year older before such a miracle occurred.
my niece was almost 5 when she finally fully potty trained. Mostly with poop only but she was so afraid to poop that she would hold it until it was physically impossible to poop... like became cement in her intestines. Which made the whole process worse.
I'd talk to your pedi about it and about suggestions. Have you tried bribery? Have you tried punishment? (I know, two different sides of the spectrum)... but I have heard great successes with the first and then the second if the first doesn't work.
hugs and many thoughts of patience for you!
ugh....I am so sorry you are going through this. I cannot imagine how frustrating it must be. I mean I had a hard time keeping myself in check with G I don't know how I would have handled it had to gone on longer. Big hugs, I feel your pain, but hang it there, I am sure it will get better, hopefully sooner rather than later.
IMFun, Hannah is exactly like your niece. For whatever reason, she started holding it in until it got impacted, which made it painful to go, which led to her holding it all the time because she doesn't want to go through the pain.
We have been working with her pedi on it. We're working on her diet right now. Drinking less milk (and switched to lactose free), drinking more water and dilluted juice, more vegetables, limiting bananas, etc. We haven't checked on a bladder or UTI issue with her doctor, but she is controlling her bladder just fine, and she doesn't show any signs of pain when urinating, so I don't think that's a problem.
I think part of the issue is the constipation, but I think it's also a control thing. She's become particularly headstrong in the last several months.
We haven't put her back in pull-ups on a daily basis. I will put her in pull-ups if she's having one of those days where she has accident after accident and I'm getting tired of cleaning underwear and floors. The problem is that if she's wearing one, she doesn't even try to use the toilet. She'll choose to go in the pull-up instead. Don't get me wrong, she doesn't refuse every day. There are times she'll do it on her own, but then there are days where she'll flat out refuse. We haven't punished or bribed or rewarded in at least a year. She's just beyond that, and it never worked anyway. I usually allow her to be in control of the whole thing, but if she's in control, she will choose not to use it most of the time. And that's where the frustration comes in.
She's getting to the age where she has to be potty trained to do certain things. She wants to start ballet, but the class she needs to be in is 4+ years, and they require the kids to be potty trained. The school she's in requires it as well, and they've actually been very understanding with our struggles. We tried using starting school as an incentive to do better, but I think she found it to be too much pressure and it seemed to have the opposite effect.
Anyway, I'm sure things will get better. It's just a matter of me being patient, I guess.
Thanks for all the input, everyone!