Ca peeps 2nd parent adoption

2moms2twins · January 2011

Did any of you do your own ( not with a lawyer) How did that go what was the process like?

If all goes well we will have our babies in Ca where we are og from and legally married but will still do 2nd parent adoption just as a safetly measure and in NV where we currently live its a 6month waiting period to do it ???? LAME.

PLEASE SHARE YOU EXPERIENCE

- J & M

msjcordova · January 2011

Im confused..

So you are originally from CA did you get married here? If you were married and your marriage is legit then there is no need to do second parent adoption. DW and I were married and luckily our marriage was 1 of 18,000 same sex marriages that were not taken away. Any child born to either her or I are considered our responsibility. If anything were to happen to be after LO is born, they would still belong to DW.

Kershnic · January 2011

Unfortunately, everything I have read indicates that even if you are legally married and both listed on the birth certificate it is a very good idea to still do the adoption. Without it your parental rights may not be honored when you are out of state or country, such as for vacation. Sorry I can't help with California, but you should consult with a lawyer to find out if you are even allowed to adopt in a state you don't live in.

Two*True · January 2011

Kershnic:
Unfortunately, everything I have read indicates that even if you are legally married and both listed on the birth certificate it is a very good idea to still do the adoption. Without it your parental rights may not be honored when you are out of state or country, such as for vacation. Sorry I can't help with California, but you should consult with a lawyer to find out if you are even allowed to adopt in a state you don't live in.

This. 100% This. A birth certificate does not give the non-bio parent rights in any state or country that does not recognize SSM. If 2nd parent adoption is available to LGBT couples in the state you live in, it is highly reccommend you take advantage of it.

Kershnic · January 2011

2moms - I found this website where you can ask questions and get them answered about legal protections for LGBT families. https://ask.familyequality.org/Forums/QA/familyequality_legal/

You may want to ask your question there.

2moms2twins · January 2011

Thanks so much .. I already know the answer which is DW will have to 2nd parent adopt even if she is on Birth cert. Yes we are protected as long as we stay in CA.. but if we go to FL for a trip or Hawaii or somewhere in MO then DW has no RIGHTS WHATSOEEVER regardless of what the BIRTH CERT says and even if we have our Marriage lic with us ( i keep a copy of all important perwork in car or purse.) Also if something were to god forbid happen to me and ( HYPOTHETCAL) My parents all of the sudden decide to petiition for court and get the right Judge ( EVEN IN CA) they could potentially take away DW child from her if we did not have the 2nd parent adoption.

The only diff from NV and CA is that CA allows us to set up paperwork ahead of time. In NV you have to wait till LO is 6mo old to file for 2nd parent adoption and judges here are on the fence- and you may be required to have a home visit by a social worker. Not the case in CA.

I was just asking if any of you DID the 2nd parent adoption MINUS a lawyer ( its very expensive ) I have heard of people who have said they did it themselves and so I am just trying to find a few more people?

-J & M

Kershnic · January 2011

2moms2twins:
The only diff from NV and CA is that CA allows us to set up paperwork ahead of time. In NV you have to wait till LO is 6mo old to file for 2nd parent adoption and judges here are on the fence- and you may be required to have a home visit by a social worker. Not the case in CA.

The stories that you have heard, do they involve an inter-state adoption, like you are talking about (i.e. filing legal paperwork for adoption in a state where neither you nor your partner lives)? I suspect that it is not very easy (or impossible) to do a legal adoption in California if you live in Nevada. But I don't actually know, so I'm guessing based on what I know about adoption in general. I'd be very curious to hear what the rules are if I'm wrong!

2brides · January 2011

You have to establish residency in the state where you intend to do the second parent adoption. I know several couples who live in Virginia (2nd parent adoption is not an option) and before the child is born, they rent an apartment in Maryland (where it is legal and right across the river) in order to establish residency there. It doesn't matter that you give birth in the state where the adoption will take place if you don't actually reside there. It is parental residency that determines where you can adopt, not birth location.

tdmklm · January 2011

How sad is it that even though our DWs are listed on the birth certificate as parents (as they SHOULD be), we need to worry about this? It makes me sick to my stomach.

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