BLW being "less stressful" than spoon feeding?

gdemars · January 2011

Wow. I've inadvertantly stirred up another board by suggesting that BLW is less stressful for us than spoon feeding DS purees. Of course they thought that BLW in general is for nutjobs but whatever.

I meant it in that we: Just feed him what we are eating, perhaps just cooked differently. When out, I don't have to worry about bringing food with me, he'll just eat off of our plates. He eats while we eat a meal instead of one of us having to spoon feed him before, during or after own own meals. It's cheaper than jarred foods therefore less stressful on your wallet, Etc.

Yes, it's messy. Yes, his clothing gets stained (it's nothing that OxyClean can't clean). Yes, the floor gets stuff on it at times and we have to mop. I guess that these things too, can be seen as "stressful."

I supose that using the word "stressful" implied that spoon feeding is overwhelming but whatever. Semantics.

If you follow BLW, do you find it less "stressful" than spoon feeding?

webMistress0609 · January 2011

Yes, I do find it fairly stress free. Ari eats what we eat when we eat it. If it's something really messy, I lay a few pages from last Sun newspaper on the floor under his high chair.

Babies make a mess & get stains with spoon feeding too.

mandyclaire579 · January 2011

I wouldn't say that we did BLW but I also haven't read up much on it. We prepared his food every few weeks and then took it of the freezer the night before.He had different veggies/fruits plus a few combos. I never thought bringing a tupperware to a restaurant was very difficult. He would still take bites off my plate, but I also trust what I prepare a lot more than any restaurant since I've worked in several. And call me selfish, but he was eating much healthier than I was when out and I like to order my own food. Now he gets stuff off our plate or, if I don't think much is good for him, I order him a bowl of fruit or steamed veggies.

So, in the end, I would think both forms of feeding are equal. And it's not like you travel with food for long. Maybe six months, if that. I don't think you can call anyone's parenting choices stressful if you haven't tried them. You can tell them you find it very easy, but your word choice could be seen as a tad offensive. It's all stressful at times.

WyoGal · January 2011

I'd say yes but in a roundabout way. As M's gotten older it's less the "skipping purees" part of BLW that is "less stressful" and more my attitude towards food in general. BLW reinforced that it was my job to provide healthy food and M's job to choose what and how much to eat. Many of my other mom friends are stressed out all the time because their child is picky and will only eat X, or won't eat enough, or won't finish their meal etc. Each week M probably does each of things but I don't notice or care. I provide healthy food and when he decides he's done, he's done. If he only eats corn at dinner I don't get into a power struggle or worry he's going to starve because he didn't also have a protein. The greater reward of BLW is a healthier attitude towards eating and food IMO.

As I read somewhere else the other week, for a nation facing an obesity epidemic, it doesn't make sense that parents start their child's life constantly believing they are never eating enough, force feeding them and encouraging them to eat "just a few more bites" when they are full.

I think attitudes towards solids introduction are what create the most stress and for me the attitude of BLW was a big part of reducing that stress.

erinkate23 · January 2011

Yep. We do BLW just because it makes sense, no weirdness. He eats what we eat, and there's a disaster no matter what he eats. He doesn't like purees, and this way we all get to have dinner as a family every night.

BostonGayGal · January 2011

I think you are making inaccurate generalizations about what was said on the other board to make yourself feel better about not getting the answers you wanted in your post. So far as I could tell some people were merely saying they didn't find spoon feeding stressful.

I'm sure none of them will see this post though. Eye roll.

KateLouise · January 2011

We introduced solids traditionally using purees, but moved to finger foods pretty quickly. Now we do a bit of a mix.

What I love about LO eating finger foods, is that she doesn't need me to sit beside her and be focused on her for the whole meal. I put her in her high chair, give her her foods, and then I can eat my lunch with her, or I can start cooking dinner while she eats and watches etc etc.

gdemars · January 2011

mandyclaire579:

I wouldn't say that we did BLW but I also haven't read up much on it. We prepared his food every few weeks and then took it of the freezer the night before.He had different veggies/fruits plus a few combos. I never thought bringing a tupperware to a restaurant was very difficult. He would still take bites off my plate, but I also trust what I prepare a lot more than any restaurant since I've worked in several. And call me selfish, but he was eating much healthier than I was when out and I like to order my own food. Now he gets stuff off our plate or, if I don't think much is good for him, I order him a bowl of fruit or steamed veggies.

So, in the end, I would think both forms of feeding are equal. And it's not like you travel with food for long. Maybe six months, if that. I don't think you can call anyone's parenting choices stressful if you haven't tried them. You can tell them you find it very easy, but your word choice could be seen as a tad offensive. It's all stressful at times.

All good points. I said that we find it less stressful, when I should have said that we find it easier. It's what I meant. I didn't mean it literaly, that we'd have a panic attack or a meltdown if we spoon fed. lol

DS has a dairy intolerance so I have to still be really careful about what I eat as he's still nursing, so it's not so bad sharing my food. I have no choice but to order really healthy while out as so many things prepared in restaurants have tons of butter, cream or milk in them. At places for quick lunches I'm almost always stuck ordering a salad of some kind as I can't have most breads that restaurants use. I was really surprised at how hard it was to cut out all the dairy products. But I hear ya. I'd love to order what I really want to eat too. What I wouldn't give for some real ice cream, chocolate, creme brulee and CHEESE. Oh my goodness, I'd love me some fresh mozzarella or a big hunk of cheddar. Some day.

gdemars · January 2011

WyoGal:

I'd say yes but in a roundabout way. As M's gotten older it's less the "skipping purees" part of BLW that is "less stressful" and more my attitude towards food in general. BLW reinforced that it was my job to provide healthy food and M's job to choose what and how much to eat. Many of my other mom friends are stressed out all the time because their child is picky and will only eat X, or won't eat enough, or won't finish their meal etc. Each week M probably does each of things but I don't notice or care. I provide healthy food and when he decides he's done, he's done. If he only eats corn at dinner I don't get into a power struggle or worry he's going to starve because he didn't also have a protein. The greater reward of BLW is a healthier attitude towards eating and food IMO.

As I read somewhere else the other week, for a nation facing an obesity epidemic, it doesn't make sense that parents start their child's life constantly believing they are never eating enough, force feeding them and encouraging them to eat "just a few more bites" when they are full.

I think attitudes towards solids introduction are what create the most stress and for me the attitude of BLW was a big part of reducing that stress.

Well said.

gdemars · January 2011

BostonGayGal:

I think you are making inaccurate generalizations about what was said on the other board to make yourself feel better about not getting the answers you wanted in your post. So far as I could tell some people were merely saying they didn't find spoon feeding stressful.

I'm sure none of them will see this post though. Eye roll.

I was simply looking for a different perspective on what I said. Their opinion on my OP over there is what it is. I expected that. Or at least some of it... What I didn't expect was the out and out making fun of and saying that BLW was gross and unsafe. It wasn't just in my OP, but has carried over into a number of other posts.

If it hadn't been thought of as such a huge deal I wouldn't have second guessed it.

lolagrinnin · January 2011

I think this board is strangely enthusiastic about BLW. I don't doubt that for everyone who does it, it is less "stressful". But likewise, for those who don't do it, it would probably be more "stressful". We don't do it, since the first time we gave her something to nom on she gagged something fierce and it made DH really, really nervous. You know what? Him being so nervous that he can't comfortably leave her buckled into her chair while she eats is, in fact, actually stressful.

As far as the benefit of BLW avoiding the "just one more bite" battles, I have another way to avoid that - don't do it. DD stops opening her mouth for bites, we don't load up her spoon anymore (until a few minutes later when she starts hollering for more). Feeding her purees while we eat our meal isn't demanding - we'd be engaging with her even if she were eating sweet potato fries instead of sweet potato mush. She eats what we eat, just squished. We don't bring food when we're out to eat - she could have some of our meal if appropriate, but usually she gets some celery sticks or carrot sticks to play with.

People who do BLW are attentively and lovingly feeding their child, just as people who spoon feed purees are attentively and lovingly feeding their children. It's a pretty minor choice that some people seem to get hung up on and want to bring into the world of "parenting as competitive sport".

C-Charm · January 2011

WyoGal:
I'd say yes but in a roundabout way. As M's gotten older it's less the "skipping purees" part of BLW that is "less stressful" and more my attitude towards food in general. BLW reinforced that it was my job to provide healthy food and M's job to choose what and how much to eat. Many of my other mom friends are stressed out all the time because their child is picky and will only eat X, or won't eat enough, or won't finish their meal etc. Each week M probably does each of things but I don't notice or care. I provide healthy food and when he decides he's done, he's done. If he only eats corn at dinner I don't get into a power struggle or worry he's going to starve because he didn't also have a protein. The greater reward of BLW is a healthier attitude towards eating and food IMO.
As I read somewhere else the other week, for a nation facing an obesity epidemic, it doesn't make sense that parents start their child's life constantly believing they are never eating enough, force feeding them and encouraging them to eat "just a few more bites" when they are full.
I think attitudes towards solids introduction are what create the most stress and for me the attitude of BLW was a big part of reducing that stress.

WSS.

I'll add that skipping purees was definitely a major benefit for us. I remember going out to dinner one night w/DD when DH had to work an evening shift. I enjoyed my dinner while my then 7-month old DD enjoyed/explored hers. At the table next to me, an entire family was trying to cojole an 11-month old to eat some pureed food. Then they collectively broke out into a round of applause when she ate a spoonful. I am not exaggerating.

hikerbeth · January 2011

Definitely less "stressful"

I fed my DD very traditionally and she was totally unwilling and unhappy. I hated mealtimes because I felt like I "had" to feed her certain things in certain amounts. She still has problems with certain textures and I think it could be partially because I forced food on her.

With DS I took an "if you can get it in your mouth and swallow it, you can have it" approach and it's been really awesome. I can set him up with some food and finish getting the table set/dinner ready for the rest of us and we can all enjoy dinner without me worrying about him and letting my food get cold (or not eating at all). He eats a better variety of textures than DD already.

BubbleToes · January 2011

I 100% agree. If I could nurse my kids forever I would because it stresses me out. It's like one.more.thing to think about! BLW has been a godsend because it's just making a little bit more of whatever we're eating. Pureeing vegetables or whatever and spending more of my precious time trying to coerce a baby to eat isn't for me.

Married2MrWright · January 2011

gdemars:

Wow. I've inadvertantly stirred up another board by suggesting that BLW is less stressful for us than spoon feeding DS purees. Of course they thought that BLW in general is for nutjobs but whatever.

I meant it in that we: Just feed him what we are eating, perhaps just cooked differently. When out, I don't have to worry about bringing food with me, he'll just eat off of our plates. He eats while we eat a meal instead of one of us having to spoon feed him before, during or after own own meals. It's cheaper than jarred foods therefore less stressful on your wallet, Etc.

Yes, it's messy. Yes, his clothing gets stained (it's nothing that OxyClean can't clean). Yes, the floor gets stuff on it at times and we have to mop. I guess that these things too, can be seen as "stressful."

I supose that using the word "stressful" implied that spoon feeding is overwhelming but whatever. Semantics.

If you follow BLW, do you find it less "stressful" than spoon feeding?

Definitely. My daughter has always been VERY independent and honestly wouldn't allow us to spoon feed her if we wanted to (my mom tried...)...at nearly 12 months old she eats like a champ and handles a spoon beautifully, in fact, lately it's her favorite thing to dip her spoon into her bowl and feed herself. It's like she's decided she doesn't want to handle her food anymore. Too cute. She'll try to do it with things that really would just be better finger foods.

And FWIW, I have found BLW not only "easier" but cheaper and healthier too. We just feed her whatever age-appropriate foods we're having. And she's surprised us. She LOVES chili (I made it spicy but not hot...just lots of cumin and garlic and a touch of chili powder, no red pepper) and adores mushrooms. She eats pretty much everything and anything...I hope the trend continues once she becomes a toddler.

goodheartedmommy · January 2011

I did BLW with my kids. However, feeding a child younger than 6 months (who shouldn't be having solids at all IMO) a lambchop gets the side-eye from me. Does BLW condone feeding children younger than 6 months anything besides breastmilk (or formula)?

ncbelle · January 2011

If by less stress we mean easier then absolutely yes! Actually, it is less stressful for me in general because I never felt concerned about how much he was eating - not that you'd have to just because you do purees (and certainly you could with BLW), but the way my mind works, I did better just letting him control things and going with the flow ;-)

But I can certainly see how one might find it more stressful. In any case, it's not something for anyone to get worked up over since what works for one person might not work for another.

someflower6 · January 2011

lolagrinnin:

I think this board is strangely enthusiastic about BLW. I don't doubt that for everyone who does it, it is less "stressful". But likewise, for those who don't do it, it would probably be more "stressful". We don't do it, since the first time we gave her something to nom on she gagged something fierce and it made DH really, really nervous. You know what? Him being so nervous that he can't comfortably leave her buckled into her chair while she eats is, in fact, actually stressful.

As far as the benefit of BLW avoiding the "just one more bite" battles, I have another way to avoid that - don't do it. DD stops opening her mouth for bites, we don't load up her spoon anymore (until a few minutes later when she starts hollering for more). Feeding her purees while we eat our meal isn't demanding - we'd be engaging with her even if she were eating sweet potato fries instead of sweet potato mush. She eats what we eat, just squished. We don't bring food when we're out to eat - she could have some of our meal if appropriate, but usually she gets some celery sticks or carrot sticks to play with.

People who do BLW are attentively and lovingly feeding their child, just as people who spoon feed purees are attentively and lovingly feeding their children. It's a pretty minor choice that some people seem to get hung up on and want to bring into the world of "parenting as competitive sport".

oh i love all of this.

i'm not gonna lie, feeding my LO purees can be stressful. especially because she is incredibly picky about the texture-- if it's too runny she fusses, and if it's too thick she fusses. along with purees, i offer her bananas, avocado and other BLW type food. like pp mentioned, she gagged and it freaked me the eff out. i know it's normal, but for me, it's stressful.

honestly, i'm just trying to figure out the best way to feed LO. sometimes it's with purees, like when she's really hungry and wants me to feed her. then when she gets bored with that, i give her her own food to eat. but i also let her do pretty much whatever she wants during her meals-- if she wants to try to spoon feed herself, i let her. if she wants to stick her hand in the purees and feed herself, i let her. that's the only way i can find feeding her less stressful-- trying to follow her cues. i think any vigilent parent can do this, regardless of the method of introducing solids.

gdemars · January 2011

goodheartedmommy:
I did BLW with my kids. However, feeding a child younger than 6 months (who shouldn't be having solids at all IMO) a lambchop gets the side-eye from me. Does BLW condone feeding children younger than 6 months anything besides breastmilk (or formula)?

He is 6 months in less than a week. It's not like he was handed a chop at 4 months old... As far as red meat, babies who are EBF are supposed to be offered red meat earlier so that they get the iron they need. Of course, offering other veggies high in iron works too but we prefer to give DS some variety and let him choose.

But BLW also states that being "ready" for solids at 6 months is relative. Some babies have NO interest whatsoever at 6 months. And that's ok.. Other babies are ready at 5 + months.

gdemars · January 2011

someflower6:
lolagrinnin:

I think this board is strangely enthusiastic about BLW. I don't doubt that for everyone who does it, it is less "stressful". But likewise, for those who don't do it, it would probably be more "stressful". We don't do it, since the first time we gave her something to nom on she gagged something fierce and it made DH really, really nervous. You know what? Him being so nervous that he can't comfortably leave her buckled into her chair while she eats is, in fact, actually stressful.

As far as the benefit of BLW avoiding the "just one more bite" battles, I have another way to avoid that - don't do it. DD stops opening her mouth for bites, we don't load up her spoon anymore (until a few minutes later when she starts hollering for more). Feeding her purees while we eat our meal isn't demanding - we'd be engaging with her even if she were eating sweet potato fries instead of sweet potato mush. She eats what we eat, just squished. We don't bring food when we're out to eat - she could have some of our meal if appropriate, but usually she gets some celery sticks or carrot sticks to play with.

People who do BLW are attentively and lovingly feeding their child, just as people who spoon feed purees are attentively and lovingly feeding their children. It's a pretty minor choice that some people seem to get hung up on and want to bring into the world of "parenting as competitive sport".

oh i love all of this.

i'm not gonna lie, feeding my LO purees can be stressful. especially because she is incredibly picky about the texture-- if it's too runny she fusses, and if it's too thick she fusses. along with purees, i offer her bananas, avocado and other BLW type food. like pp mentioned, she gagged and it freaked me the eff out. i know it's normal, but for me, it's stressful.

honestly, i'm just trying to figure out the best way to feed LO. sometimes it's with purees, like when she's really hungry and wants me to feed her. then when she gets bored with that, i give her her own food to eat. but i also let her do pretty much whatever she wants during her meals-- if she wants to try to spoon feed herself, i let her. if she wants to stick her hand in the purees and feed herself, i let her. that's the only way i can find feeding her less stressful-- trying to follow her cues. i think any vigilent parent can do this, regardless of the method of introducing solids.

Variety is the spice of life!! You are doing a great job by the sounds of it.

DS LOVES avacado and will feed it to himself at first when it's still more intact. But then he gets peeved he can't hold it but he wants more of it. I mush it at that point and put a bit on the end of his spoon and he sticks it in his mouth and enjoys it. It's about balance. And making your LO happy.

someflower6 · January 2011

gdemars:

Variety is the spice of life!! You are doing a great job by the sounds of it.

DS LOVES avacado and will feed it to himself at first when it's still more intact. But then he gets peeved he can't hold it but he wants more of it. I mush it at that point and put a bit on the end of his spoon and he sticks it in his mouth and enjoys it. It's about balance. And making your LO happy.

i heard-- and i don't even know where, it may have been on this board-- that when foods like bananas and avocados, etc, get too "mushy", you can roll it in some wheat germ to help make it more grippy. i have yet to try it because i think part of the appeal for my LO is just playing with/mushing/feeling the texture of the food, but i may try it since we do have WG in the house.

DreamsBride411 · January 2011

You just need to know that the BLW approach isn't for everyone.

We started out BLWing using finger foods and I was so stressed and so paranoid that my LO was going to choke that it made the whole experience a big huge fail. I've read the books, I've talked to other moms, I just can't seem to get past the fact that my kid doesn't know how to chew and that somehow she'll get a piece out that's too big for her if she can't handle it.

To me, purees are a helluva lots less stressful.

DreamsBride411 · January 2011

gdemars:
As far as red meat, babies who are EBF are supposed to be offered red meat earlier so that they get the iron they need. Of course, offering other veggies high in iron works too but we prefer to give DS some variety and let him choose.

This theory isn't true by the way. Current research has found that EBF babies absorb A LOT of iron through breastmilk and don't need any extra out-sources of iron. Everything baby related is fortified with iron because FF babies only absorb 4% of the iron given to them through formula, while BF babies absorb 49% due to the fact that teensy fissures that leak iron out aren't present in the intestinal lining of BF babies.

Whew. That was a mouthful.

gdemars · January 2011

DreamsBride411:

gdemars:
As far as red meat, babies who are EBF are supposed to be offered red meat earlier so that they get the iron they need. Of course, offering other veggies high in iron works too but we prefer to give DS some variety and let him choose.

This theory isn't true by the way. Current research has found that EBF babies absorb A LOT of iron through breastmilk and don't need any extra out-sources of iron. Everything baby related is fortified with iron because FF babies only absorb 4% of the iron given to them through formula, while BF babies absorb 49% due to the fact that teensy fissures that leak iron out aren't present in the intestinal lining of BF babies.

Whew. That was a mouthful.

I've read that too. We EBF and I eat tons of iron rich foods. But today at our 6 month well visit the Dr said that it isn't true. I told her that we haven't been giving him the iron suppliment and the Dr frowned. She then tested his iron count and found out it was 12.7, which she said it was great. Obviously we are doing something right. lol She said to still TRY to give him the suppliment.

Where did you get this info? That way I can bring it to our next well visit.

EDIT: Nevermind, found it.

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