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s/o big families poll - anyone planning to be 1 & done?

jds0521jds0521
in Success after IF
DH & I are seriously considering. On the one hand, I want DS to have a sibiling for companionship, but on the other IVF is expensive & we are not sure we can afford (or even want to) do it again. And also, this LO has been a huge culture shock for us. Everyone says you get baby amnesia & forget how tough it can be...I'm not seeing that happening any time soon, lol.
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Re: s/o big families poll - anyone planning to be 1 &amp;amp; done?

  • smileesmilee member
    We are really undecided about this. I go back and forth all.the.time.
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  • Smudges*MomSmudges*Mom member
    We are one & done. I got my tubes tied last month. For us, between having to do IVF to get pregnant, then the complications that came with my pregnancy, followed by severe PPD. . . I have more than, at one time, I dared hope for, so, we are content with our decision. I won't lie, there are times that I am sad, but, I know that this is what is best for our family. Good luck with your decision.
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  • BoxTerBoxTer
    We most likely are. I recently got the 10-year IUD so unless something changes, no more kids for us. DH would like another one but is starting to come around - I'm the one who doesn't feel like I could handle a second (for a variety of reasons). It was a very tough decision and I've spent a LOT of time turning it over in my head over the past year, but now I feel pretty much at peace with it. I'm an only myself so I don't know what it's like to have siblings, but I don't feel like I missed out on anything and I know there is no guarantee that just because you have more than one child that they will get along and be lifelong friends.
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  • kittylovekittylove member

    We are mostly sure we are one and done. The first year was rough but I knew it would be, I was un-prepared for how hard 1-2 would be. Even though he is 2 now and things are getting better, I still think I would be a much better parent to an only child than I would to 2+ kids. I know others feel like I am cheating my child out of a sibling but I prefer to think of it as giving him a good mother, one he wouldn't have if he had a sibling. There are so many reasons that for us ONE is the perfect number of children.

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  • PrincessShay80PrincessShay80
    DD will most likely be an only, we have no desire to do treatments again and we are still undecided on adopting again. We are so happy with one- DD has brought us so much joy, and we never thought we would be able to experience parenthood at all- so the fact that we get to have these memories with her is enough for us. I'm not sad about it- I just think about all the things we will be able to do only having one child, she will be able to travel with us and have the best of everything.
    Our Journey from two to three! 3 IUI's, 2 IVF's, decided to move to foster/adopt. 12/24/2009 Baby C born, 2/1/2010 placed with us, 5/17/2011 Adoption final- we are finally a forever family! Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • epphdepphd member

    We were definitely happy being one and done - but not enough to use birth control.  Realistically, the odds of me getting pregnant were so ridiculously long that it seemed pointless, but we both knew there WAS a chance - however small - that we could have a second.  Just didn't expect it to happen so fast!

    To be 100% honest, I still love the idea of one-and-done and am having a hard time adjusting to this pregnancy.  I know I will come around 100%, but there are a number of enormous advantages to only children, IMO.

    Sam has tons of playmates at school (day care) and in a parents group we are a part of.  If you want your child to have companionship, it's easy to make that happen.  And you can focus all of your resources on your one precious child - not a bad thing!  And your kid always "knows" he's the "favorite" in the family :)

     

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    I am a runner, knitter, scientist, DE-IVF veteran, and stage III colon cancer survivor.
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  • Mrs.LisaPMrs.LisaP

    I have 2 kids, so I am not one and done, but I can totally see how just having 1 would have so mnay benefits!

    I had almost 6 years alone with my first one, and we were a family, her DH and I. We have such a tight bond and I honeslty think part of it is because we had so many year alone together. I called and still call her my best friend! So based on that, I can totally see how someone can happily be one and done!

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    DD #1 {04-19-2004}
    Secondary IF: Severe MFI (low testosterone, low count, low morph, & very low motility) & Annovulation
    After 22 months IUI # 3 Clomid + Follistim = BFP
    DD #2 {12-31-2009}
    2 more years of failed IF treatments and a failed adoption TTC #3
    TTC Journey Over~ Not By Choice
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