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March 2011 Moms
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Contact AF when I give birth?

moyolehuanimoyolehuani
in March 2011 Moms

Long story short.
My ex and I had planned to conceive in November. It happened in June.
1 month after finding out (early Aug) he said he wanted no part.
We've had to 'conversations' since then, I had to cut it short to not get ugly.


I want this baby and understand that I am a single parent. I miss him, he was the person I wanted to build a family with, but I can't control the way other people act or how they feel.
I do not want anything from him, not a last name, not child support.  

For my child, perhaps her peace of mind when she is older,
should I reach out to him when she is born ?

 

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Re: Contact AF when I give birth?

  • beeunitbeeunit member
    Why bother?  He wants nothing to do with the baby, and you don't expect anything from him.  If he knows you conceived in June then it is not rocket science as to when you are due..he can reach out if he feels like he should or if he wants to.  As for her peace of mind..I'm sure she's not going to ask you if you called him the day she was born.  If she does, I'm sure you'll have since moved on and can come up with a good way to explain the situation.
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  • ManateearmzManateearmz member

    I wouldn't contact him. At this point its up to him if reaches out to you and wants to take some responsibility.

    You might want to try the Single Parents board, the girls on there should be able to give you some great advice.

    imageBaby Birthday Ticker TickerBabyFruit Ticker

     

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  • sl_gordonsl_gordon
    If I were in your situation, I would probably contact him, but only to get him to officially sign over his rights to the child.  I personally wouldn't want him coming back after a couple of years and expect to get equal visitation rights...
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  • kilissakilissa

    I think it's pretty rash to say that you don't want anything from Ex-BF.  Raising children is expensive and at some point you may need child support.  I would make sure to find the documentation correctly so that if your LO needs anything in the future that avenue is open.

    As for contacting him about the birth, that's really only a decision that you can make.  Do you think it will make things easier or harder for you?  You are already going to be experiencing a lot of emotions - will having him around or talking to him make things better or worse? 

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  • babyblues314babyblues314
    It's a decision that you will have to make.  Regarding a previous post, check with your state to find out about signing over rights.  I know in my state a may can not sign his rights away unless there is someone that is willing to take his place.  When your child is older and he/she sees that their father has and wants nothing to do with them, they probably won't reach out to find them.  I had a rough childhood with my father, and I gave up, if he wants to see me or talk to me, he can call me. I'm done calling.
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  • Skip10Skip10

    Personally I would contact him and let him know the baby is born, and then depending on your state guidelines establish paternity, go to court and get a structure visitation and custody order, and child support as soon as possible.  You may not want anything today, but your baby is entitled to support and the biological father is required to provide it.

     If he chooses to be negligent its his loss.   However if you dont do your part upfront and turn out to need support later it will be harder on you.

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  • jknitjknit
    MUD?
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  • beeunitbeeunit member

    imagejknit:
    MUD?

     

    After I responded, I saw that she's posted once.  And it was this.  I kind of think it might be.

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  • bre87bre87
    if it were me (and this isn't MUD) i'd contact him just to say i tried and leave the rest up to him, if he wants to be involved or not. but either way look into the legal options for your state as far as child support and parental rights go.
    Bre Wrties
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