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Trouble TTC
mollybloom
member
Question for a non-member friend
mollybloom
member
in Trouble TTC
A girlfriend of mine is having some trouble and i thought that perhaps you may have advice. She has been trying to concieve since January 2008. She was diagnosed with mild endometriosis but her doc said that it was not severe anough to prevent conception. All other tests done on her proved negative. After much talk, her husband finally admitted that he may be having a problem and went and had tests done. He has an extremely low sperm count and the doctor said that the chances of them conceiving naturally are nil.
Here's the touchy part. Her husband is from a very traditional culture that is male-dominated. The idea that a man has a problem getting his wife pregnant dpes not exist in that culture. According to them, if there is a problem it must be something that the woman is doing. Her husband does not follow the traditions of his culture but his parents and siblings do. Despite her husbands unwaivering support, my friend is under constant harrassment from them and she does not know what to do. Has anyone else dealt with fertility issues and culture shock? Any advice would be much appreciated as this is causing her so much stress.
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Re: Question for a non-member friend
Would your friend be willing to take medications? If she O'd more than one egg it may increase her chance. I've also heard that some foods can increase a man's count. Good luck to your friend!
What a tough situation. I have a friend who is in a similar position. She has three siblings, all of whom have been able to get pregnant very easily. She has been TTC for 2.5 years and her older sibilings started to wonder why she wasn't having kids yet because in their culture (and family) it is very common to have kids soon after you get married. It has been a hard pill to swallow for her.
I don't know how you would get the family to STFU except to share the test results with them although most people wouldn't want their families knowing that much detail about their lives. If she can express to his family how much they want children yet sometimes, infertility can be unexplained and millions of people go through it, maybe they will understand a bit more. Wish your friend well. Infertility is tough enough without family being a pain in the a$$.
If her husband has no issues with undergoing treatments, could they just do the treatments and not tell the family? When they get a BFP, the family would probably not question how they got there if they didn't know there was ever an issue. Or will he not go for treatment because of how he feels about it?
This. I would just go head with some treatments, I am sure the MD can give him some medication to improve his counts. And I wouldn't tell the family anything.
As to how to deal with their questions, I would just avoid them and redirect.
Thanks for the suggestions and advice. I have tried talking to her about medical options but she doesn't want to hear it from me cause my husband and I tried for 3 months before getting pregnant. She says their trouble TTC it is something that I could never understand and I agree with her. I just wish I could help her emotionally with the in-law problems. I think that I will direct her to this website because she could use the support from people that are going through something similar. Maybe she would feel better talking to others going through what she has to go through.
I just love her so much and value our friendship so much and want to help her in whatever way she needs.
Maybe you can suggest that your friend look up this board. YOU may not understand what she's going through, but WE do. Also, I frankly wouldn't want to hear advice from someone who never had trouble bc generally the advice I have received is pretty simplistic (oh, have you tried ovulation predictor kits? um yeah, thanks).
If she were here, I'd tell her to get her H to a urologist who specializes in fertility to do some more testing and to get a second sperm analysis done. The urologist may have some answers for what is going on that could be addressed. The next step after that would be to see a reproductive endocronologist who can help. But if they aren't interested in meds or any assistance, there's not much they can do except lifestyle changes which may or may not help a little (e.g. no smoking, limit alcohol and caffeine, boxers no briefs, no hot tubs, vitamins/supplements- she can start with fertility blend or fertilaid and see if that helps, but it takes 3 months to see any difference). GL to her.