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3rd Trimester
babyharrington
member
After hospital: Alone with baby or family staying to help?
babyharrington
member
I was just wondering who is spending the first days/weeks alone with baby after leaving the hospital and who is having family stay with them to help? (And how did you decide?)
DH and I are trying to decide whether we should let my mom and/or MIL stay with us for a few days after coming home from the hospital. We are torn. Thanks!
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Re: After hospital: Alone with baby or family staying to help?
Married since 06/19/2004|Anna born 11/19/2006|Charles born 11/1/11
Double undergrad graduation May 2011| Me: Psychology, DH: Communication| A long journey!
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im plannin on having our house to ourselves to bond and whatnot. but my in laws live 5 min down the street so if we need them, they can just pop over. besides we just have a 2 bedroom house (our room and baby's) theres no room for them anyway
EDD 1/31/13, MC May 17. EDD 3/31/13, MC July 26. I miss you so much already my angel loves
DH has two weeks off around my due date so we're hoping that she comes in that time frame so the three of us can spend some time alone together.
If not, DH's grandmother (who is not some frail old woman!) lives literally next door, and both sets of grandparents live just a half hour or so away. My mom is off for a week at the end of February and would gladly come help me out if I needed it.
Hubby is taking a few days of his vacation time to be with me when the LO arrives. I have my mom who is really close by (5 minutes) and if I need something she works at the local grocery store as a department manager so she can pick it up for me and drop it off.
If you have family close by I would try and limit the people in, but if your family lives further away then I would have them stay for a couple days. It all depends really if you have a c/s or vaginal birth.
Do try though to have as much time with the baby you and your s/o or dh can have I've been told that bonding is very important so we are going to limit the time people being here at the house and we only have a two bedroom house anyways.
I didn't really want anyone staying with us (they are all OOT) but we ended up having both sets of grandparents briefly (not at the same time) - my parents were particularly helpful because basically they just cooked and cleaned and asked me what I wanted them to do. If your mother or MIL will do that (as opposed to "helping" by constantly wanting to hold the baby), it can be nice to have extra hands for a while. If they all annoy you, then don't have them stay!
This time, we will not be having anyone staying at the house - they'll stay in a hotel when they come after the birth and just visit during the day.
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With #1 we spent several days by ourselves. When Dh went back to work the families started rotating through a few days at a time. I wanted to figure a few things out before having someone there to judge me. Not that everyone was really judging, I just felt that way.
We plan on doing the same this time. I'll be a repeat c/s so I worry about trying to handle 2 kids alone. It would also be nice if grandma could take #1 out for a bit so we can be alone with DD.
My mom is coming for a few days to help out. It's just how our family works. She went to my sister's for both of her kids. My grandmother went for all 8 of her grandbabies.
When they come, it's to take care of the house, any older kids and the mom while mom takes care of the baby. We don't have issues with moms that want to take over though like some of the stories that I read on here.
My Chart My Nest Bio
ALONE! DH and I want to have our time with LO before calling in the forces for help.
We will not limit visitors, however, nobody will actually stay with us!
I didn't have help after dd1 and won't this time. I managed just fine.
eta: I had and am having a c/s as well.
IMG]http://i39.tinypic.com/qpqv84.jpg[/IMG]
Patiently waiting for little brother!
My mom will be staying with us for a week after the baby is born. While MH and I are taking care of our newborn, my mom will be taking care of us. I can't wait to have hot, home-cooked meals and a clean house.
I see so many posts about how no one else is allowed into the house so that mom, dad and baby can "bond." I'm interested to see if my mom's presence in our house will prevent me from bonding with my baby.
As far as overnight goes, it will be just us. His Dad, dad's wife, and his 14 y.o. sister live down the street, if we really needed something we could call them. Since his sister will be in school, she might stop by afterwards to help...she's a great cleaner lol.
My parents live 1/2 hour away, and I think my mom will be taking 1-2 days off to come over and help (this is her first grandchild) during the first week, but she will go home at night. I don't really expect anyone to be there though, I am pretty sure DF will still be on leave for the winter until late April/May, so I think the two of us should be able to handle it.
LOL same here. H will spend the first week at home, then it'll just be me and the baby. Both sets of parents live out of state so visits are always a big production. But my parents and the ILs are all retired and will come down at a moment's notice if I ask for help, so that's a big relief.