Tips from the trenches
1st -- you MUST ditch the diapers. Make a big production over it. Have him/her place all of the diapers in a gift bag or box, wrap and give to someone that could use them. But the point is, once you switch you CAN NOT go back.
2nd -- you should really adjust expectations. It is not possible for most kids to have few accidents in the beginning. Accidents are part of the learning process, much like life. Accidents help for them to realize the sensation that he had before he started peeing/pooping. He/she probably hasn't recognized this and therefore cant tell you when it is time to go. It is equally important to not get mad or angry over accidents, expect them and stock up on carpet cleaner.
When he does have an accident, immediately wisk him to the bathroom while saying "uh oh, yucky yucky yucky eww." You want for him/her to understand that this is not a good thing but at the same time know that you are not angry, upset, or disappointed. Once you are in the bathroom, let him/her finish on the potty while telling him/her that 'we go ___________ in the potty. You need to let me know when you need to go potty. Oh well, we can try better next time." I can not emphasize enough that this is not to be a chastising but rather a quick talk with NO hint of anger, disappointment, or upset.
Initially, he/she wont be able to verbalize consistently, especially if she/he isn't verbal to begin with. Therefore, you need to make sure that you are taking him/her to the potty on a regular schedule for the first several days to a week. Initially, I took my DD every 20-30 min. Once your DS/DD does go potty in the potty, have a party! Make it so over the top that you feel silly. Call grandparents and friends. (tell them in advance so it doesn't seem so wierd. They will get it, promise). Have a prize/reward system that is of value for your son. (My daughter LOVES m&ms, so she would get two when she would go potty initially. Now we get one for P and two for poo.) If your kid is not verbal, consider using a sign in addition to verbal cues. That way he can alert you by sign in the future.
Third -- you can't become a recluse/hermit for the next month to two months while you are potty training. (yes, it can take that long). Therefore, I would invest in some sham-wow like cloths to place in the car seat to absorb any accidents that occur in the car. Also be sure to have him go potty before leaving the house to minimize accidents in the car. If it is going to be a long road trip, leave early to allow for at least one stop an hour.
Fourth -- pack your diaper bag with extra changes of clothes. Several pairs of pants, underwear, AND socks. You may want to consider a shirt too. Be prepared, you will be doing a lot of laundry initially but it does get less.
Just a quick note on underwear. I recommend the trainers by Gerber (you can find them in Target) initially. Talk it up to him/her starting a couple days in advance. I have a potty training book by fisher price that really helped my DD get that this is a big girl milestone. They also have one for boys, I highly recommend it. Make a special trip to the store with him for the sole purpose of purchasing underwear. Have him pick out the design. (the designed versions are just slightly more expensive, so only get a pack or two, the rest just get plain white to save money) You will need to have at least 24 so expect to spend about $70. I was shocked at the expense of potty training once you add everything up!
Pick a day, get started, and don't look back.
A few random tips I picked up:
Take pictures of him to make him feel extra special while he is on the potty.
NO PULLUPS at school/daycare if he goes unless they are mandated by policy. Don't bow to teacher/caretaker pressure. They are expensive diapers when used like this. I used pullups at night until we were uber consistent during the day. We are now transitioning from this as well.
Be prepared to vary your rewards. I have gone from m&ms to stickers to TV time and little trinkets such as beaded necklaces, bracelets, painting fingernails, etc. and back again. Be creative.
Have time consuming toys to only be used while on the potty. My DD LOVES to draw/color. So I got her a clipboard stocked with paper and a big bin of special pencils, pens, markers, and stamps. Then we went to a music keyboard. Keep it new and interesting.
Don't ask if s/he needs to go potty. The answer will always be no. Instead just say it is time to go potty. Having a designate timer that has an audible beep is helpful. When it goes off, get excited and say "oooooo, its time to go potty! Yay, lets go!" Again silly, but it does really work to disengage them from what ever activity they were engrossed in. As s/he gets a better grip on the whole process, you can extend the interval of the trips. Initially, expect to feel like you are living in the bathroom.
Relax. It wont happen overnight, or even in the first few weeks for most kids. Expect to have your carpets cleaned or to rent a cleaner if you dont' already have one. I highly recommend Nature's Miracle for spot treatments until you are ready to do the big clean.
Keep the potty a positive experience. Do not punish for accidents even if they happen less than two minutes after you leave the potty.
When it clicks, it clicks. Potty training definitely involves a lightbulb moment. It may flicker, it may dim, but eventually it will shine as long as you are consistent.
BE CONSISTENT!
Hope that helps.
Re: Tips from the trenches
good post- there is a bunch of useful info in there- pretty similar to the 3 day potty training regimen.
i would add that some kids (like my ds) might respond well to asking if they need to use the potty. i say "let me know when you need to use the potty" a million times a day, but he does come and let me know when he needs to (7 days into training) and he has since about day 2. ds seemed like a kid who was going to start resenting potty training if i kept interrupting his playtime every 20 min to take him to the bathroom (sometimes he doesn't go for 60 min+). but he is also a kid who will sit an play quietly for extended periods of time. also, one nice thing that has happened from me letting him tell me, is that he started waking me up once a night to take him to the bathroom. he is still totally dry in the morning then and it was his brain that learned how to remember to go, not me reminding him. i'm sure that wouldn't work for all kids of course, but it might work for yours depending on their personality.
also, i got 30 pairs of underwear for less than 40$ at walmart. not my favorite place in the world, but not that expensive. that included sesame street ones. i haven't actually used more than 10 a day and since because i just do a tiny load of laundry once a day with the undies and any of his clothes that got dirty i probably could've gotten away with less. oh well, i suppose it was good to be prepared.
also, we are still using pull ups for naps (we call them nap-pants) and diapers at night. i already had the pull ups before we started potty training but he had never seen them before. they don't seem to be hindering anything at all. he actually has yet to pee in the pull-ups and since he stopped peeing at nighttime 4 nights in, i don't really feel like they've been hindering anything here (and they made me feel a little less anxious about the whole thing.
good luck everyone and hang in there! i'm hoping this week we get more of a handle on the "letting mama know before you have to poo instead of immediately after" thing.
I hadn't had that many poopy accidents thankfully and the ones that I did have to clean were very solid so there was only a streak or two on the panties. I sprayed them with the sprayer we used to clean her cloth diapers and then laundered as usual. No stains.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You are correct. I also forgot to mention that I also began to ask her to tell me when she needs to go potty starting about week 2. My DD also tells me when she needs to go and I no longer have to ask now.
I bought the trainers which are more expensive than the normal underwear. I wanted the trainers because they are a little thicker in the crotch area and caught the majority of the accident initially allowing me time to whisk her to the bathrooom without having a huge puddle on my floor. I could not find them at our Walmart.
Congrats on your son being night trained already! Count yourself lucky as that is definitely not the norm. Some children are not even night trained by 5 years old.
Could you post (or pm) me links to the Etsy store you got your trainers from. Thanks
Thanks for the name of the shop sadly that shop is still on holiday so I will look around etsy until I find something I like