s/o maid of honor situation

mharison · January 2011

For those of you who were interested a few days ago...

Long story short, the bride told another friend that she didn't think I should be in the wedding because it's her wedding, she's going to have the pictures forever, and she doesn't want people commenting on how fat and pregnant her MOH is. That is a direct quote. Awsome, right? Like I don't have enough body issues!

So I called her and told her I didn't want to do it anymore, she said it wasn't as if she didn't want me to be in the wedding, and I told her that was exactly it. I asked her what she wanted me to do with the dress (that she MADE me purchase!) and she said she would send me a check.

My feelings are pretty hurt, and I'm more upset because I know our friendship will not be the same. AHHH!!!!

kmv68 · January 2011

WOW! Apparently she isn't worth the money or the time you were going to spend on her wedding! Sorry she is such a crap friend. Someday when she is pregnant she will realize what a jerk she is.

dolphant3 · January 2011

Wow, that's so awful... I'm really sorry it worked out that way.. Its awful how shallow people can be, especially with something as beautiful as a good friend having a baby (this applies to all the lame pregnancy comments and "advice" as well).

Along those same lines, my friend was in a wedding where the bride was pregnant and she made the bridesmaids wear these 70's orange dresses, and do their hair in the least flattering way, telling them it was because she wanted to make sure they looked worse than her. Jeez...

gymnst1013 · January 2011

OMG!! I am absolutely appalled at how rude she is! My feelings would be incredibly hurt too. Who gives a rats' ass what anyone looks like in those photos?!? No one is going to care except her and apparently she is pretty shallow if THAT, of all things about her wedding, is what she cares about. She doesn't deserve you as a friend. You are too good for someone like that. What a complete biitch. I'm so sorry you are having to deal with the whole situation. Hopefully she will come to realize that a friendship is a millions times more important than a photograph. And besides, pregnant women are beautiful. I think if anything, your pregnancy would add to her photos, not detract from them.

mharison · January 2011

Thanks for the kind words and support! It does help...as does the pasta that we are making for dinner:)

CarlaAndJames · January 2011

gymnst1013:
And besides, pregnant women are beautiful. I think if anything, your pregnancy would add to her photos, not detract from them.

I agree completely! It sounds to me like it has more to do with her worrying your beautiful pregnant belly will take away a smidge of attention from her.

MrsJuicy2B · January 2011

That is nuts! SHE is going to be in all of the pictures, not her pregnant MOH. Not that it helps, but you're probably better off without people like that in your life, especially with a baby on the way. Life's too short to keep bad people around. Sorry this happened to you.

helenejr · January 2011

oh i'm very sorry you went through this..... I had a similar situation with a BM at my wedding - although she decided to pull out not because she was pregnant but in one of her hormonal states decided she couldn't stand my DH and couldn't stand up there and watch me "make the biggest mistake ever" ..... needless to say our friendship has never ever been the same...... she still came to the wedding but picked it to pieces.....

I've been told a lot lately by mums that once baby is born you wo't have time for dramic and selfish friends so its better to find out now that they are like that than later....

DowagerCountessofNJ · January 2011

Whatabitch!

Consider yourself lucky to find out about her terrible attitude towards your pregnancy now then later down the road after you've dropped hundreds of dollars on her wedding.

Honestly, if it was me in the situation I wouldn't even consider going to the wedding nor would I be sending her gift unless she gave a heartfelt apology.

DuckDuckGoose123 · January 2011

Your friend is horrible!!! My god, I just can't imagine saying or thinking something like that. If I were you I'd drop her as a friend completely, she's clearly incredibly shallow and self-centered, and frankly, kind of nuts - who thinks pregnant women are fat and ugly, anyway? Oh my god.

She sucks.

amanda1680 · January 2011

kmv68:
WOW! Apparently she isn't worth the money or the time you were going to spend on her wedding! Sorry she is such a crap friend. Someday when she is pregnant she will realize what a jerk she is.

I totally agree. I also agree with the pp who said she wouldn't even consider going to the wedding or sending a gift unless she apologizes. This girl belongs on a little show called "Bridezillas." I'm sorry this happened to you, and I'm sure karma will catch up with her one day Smile

DowagerCountessofNJ · January 2011

amanda1680:
kmv68:
WOW! Apparently she isn't worth the money or the time you were going to spend on her wedding! Sorry she is such a crap friend. Someday when she is pregnant she will realize what a jerk she is.

I totally agree. I also agree with the pp who said she wouldn't even consider going to the wedding or sending a gift unless she apologizes. This girl belongs on a little show called "Bridezillas." I'm sorry this happened to you, and I'm sure karma will catch up with her one day

Hopefully on her wedding day Devil

earl&pearl · January 2011

Wow, what a selfish, rude biiotch. I hope she doesn't plan on leaving her husband at the alter if he happens to gain a few lbs by then and 'ruin' her pictures.

amberpro · January 2011

This is absolutely horrible! She obviously cares more about her shallow views of what things should look like than having people that love and support her up there standing by her. And that fat and pregnant remark??? It makes me want to punch whoever said it in the face. Selfish princess.

Sazhrah · January 2011

Sounds like a vanity wedding. I am sorry you went through that but better sooner than later. Let us know when you get the check. Use that money to buy baby stuff

ShangriLaRose · January 2011

Everything that PP's said, and more! I just kinda want to meet her in person and punch her in the face! Pregnancy is beautiful, and if she's that shallow, she really doesn't deserve to be in your life at all! Angry

I know that it hurts... I couldn't blame you a bit for feeling hurt on various levels. I'm w/ everyone else on either karma will get her... or she'll realize her mistake down the road, and it'll be too late. She's just being a childish, selfish tw@t! I'm glad she at least agreed to step up and reimburse you. I know that does not, by any means, "fix" the situation... but it was the right thing to do. I can't believe some people! Grr!

fwittig@gmail.com · January 2011

Wow, what a selfish b!tch. I actually moved my wedding date so my pregnant MOH would be comfortable. I've always wanted a spring wedding so we had planned for the middle of March. About a month after we decided on the date, my MOH and BFF found out she was due about the same time. She was really upset about potentially missing my wedding and I wanted her there, of course, so I moved my wedding to the beginning of May to give her time to adjust to the new baby. She ended up having the baby 6 weeks early and I thought the new baby was a beautiful addition to some of my wedding photos. (oh, and the BM dresses were only $25 from Target.com and we bought ribbon from Hobby Lobby for a sash, they were beautiful and not insanely expensive. I'm not about putting my friends out on my account). You don't need people like that in your life. If she's going to be so petty that she thinks that you being pregnant is going to ruin her photos then obviously she doesn't care that much for you. A real friend shouldn't care about things like that. I'm glad you got to find out now. 50% of marriages end in divorce, babies are forever. I hope she's not expecting a wedding gift from you after being that rude.

fwittig@gmail.com · January 2011

Sorry for the block paragraph. I'm posting from my iPad for the first time and I swear I made 3 paragraphs, not sure what happened.

cvl105 · January 2011

what a ***! I'm so sorry. I would be extremely hurt too. There is no excuse for women who act that way when they're getting married. She's going to learn the hard way by losing friends.

ps - I hope it POURS on her wedding day...not just rains hard...but POURS all day!!!

mharison · January 2011

Sazhrah:

Sounds like a vanity wedding. I am sorry you went through that but better sooner than later. Let us know when you get the check. Use that money to buy baby stuff

I'm seeing some nice, new and expensive cloth diapers in my future.... Wink

NovNYC2006 · January 2011

I'm so sorry! She certainly doesn't sound like a true friend!

I think there must be a "crazy" hormone for many women when they are planning their weddings! No excuse for being just plain rude!!

IndianaSara · January 2011

Like others have already said, I'm sorry that you had to go through this! What a BIT*H! If it were me, I wouldn't go to the wedding. If she asked me why, I'd simply say, I was afraid there'd be a picture of me and my "fat" self taken accidentally (while dancing or something) and I didn't want to ruin your day! I cannot believe the audacity of some people...

supermom83 · January 2011

Wow.....your friend is not a friend at all. I had responded to your previous post with a controversial opinion (I thought you shouldn't ask her for the money but just ask her what to do with the dress in hopes she'd realize she should pay you back) and I gave your "friend" the benefit of the doubt (even though I don't know her, but I ALWAYS give people the benefit of the doubt...and thought maybe she was worried about your situation closer to the wedding and not the pictures....) but she is obviously an extremely superficial, shallow and rude person. Every other poster called it right away but I was unable to believe that a friend who asked you to be her Maid of Honor (which I thought meant you guys were SUPER close) would do something like that to you. I couldn't even believe when I was reading your update. I feel like a tool for giving you the previous advice. I'm so sorry!!!! I hope you can forgive any anger I might have caused by slightly defending her....

Someone thought I had also done the same thing and kicked someone out of my wedding, but I promise I never did such a thing and I would never do that but I guess I'm always so naive and come up with excuses for other peoples bad behavior because I don't like confrontation. I have to admit I have had people take advantage of my weak confrontation skills and it upset me greatly. Glad you were able to stand up for yourself. I hope one day I can consistently stand up for myself too.

Just remember that it's her loss in the end because she's hurting your friendship. Like a PP mentioned, she'll seriously realize what an ass she's being when she's pregnant herself. Peoples true colors come out under situations like this and it's better to know now that she's not a true friend.

Sorry again...

babyduejune · January 2011

Sgt M's Wife:

Whatabitch!

Consider yourself lucky to find out about her terrible attitude towards your pregnancy now then later down the road after you've dropped hundreds of dollars on her wedding.

Honestly, if it was me in the situation I wouldn't even consider going to the wedding nor would I be sending her gift unless she gave a heartfelt apology.

EXACTLY this.... holy *** I just can't believe people like this even get married, lol. I pity the guy marrying this piece of work. Selfish and immature are the first two adjectives that jump to mind. Like many others have stated, at least you know now that she is not a true friend. Sorry this has happened

babyduejune · January 2011

cvl105:

what a ***! I'm so sorry. I would be extremely hurt too. There is no excuse for women who act that way when they're getting married. She's going to learn the hard way by losing friends.

ps - I hope it POURS on her wedding day...not just rains hard...but POURS all day!!!

Hahahhaha, ditto this!

PhotoCat82 · January 2011

Wow, what a selfish friend! I agree with the PPs that I wouldn't even go to the wedding. What normal person would care that you are pregnant in the photos?!? That is insane! What happened if you wanted to change your hair color or something else? Would that have to be approved by her too? Ugh, weddings sure do bring out some people's true colors. Sorry that you had to go through that!

kbel424 · January 2011

That is so crappy! My best friend and MOH was 8 months pregnant at my wedding and she looked beautiful! When she found out she was expecting, she called me right away and asked if I was sure I still wanted her to be in the wedding since she would be big and everything, and it never even crossed my mind to not have her. She's my best friend and the only person i'd want standing there with me. That really sucks your friend is acting that way. Weddings tend to being out peoples true colors

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