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Judgmental...

ondjimaondjima member
in Trouble TTC

I have noticed the longer I struggle with IF the more judgmental I have become. Especially towards people with kids. I think that taking this  long to get KU also adds to the blissful thinking of "I will never do that when I have a child."

So what are some of the judgments you make about people who have children?

My friend has a 13 month old, who she still breastfeeds. That is awesome or whatever. But what I judge is that she sticks food or the boob in her kid's mouth whenever she cries or fusses at ANY little thing. And it is the ONLY way to get this child to sleep, or back to sleep when she wakes up in the middle of the night. I see an unhealthy relationship with food coming on!  Maybe when I have a baby I will do the same thing, but for now I give her the side eye.

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Re: Judgmental...

  • adaisybugadaisybug

    I am trying not to become "judgemental" or unreasonable to other people with kids. However, I find myself thinking..."You're lucky to have kids" when people start complaining.

    For example: I heard this guy whining about his son teething...and I thought "At least you have a kid to be teething..." Hmm

    I am really trying not to be this way. I know that I will have tough times when I have our child, I hope that I remember our struggle and cherish those moments.

    After 18 months TTC, our 2nd IUI brought us our BFP! Stick baby stick! FuzziBunz at Nurtured Family BabyFetus Ticker Image and video hosting by TinyPic
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  • nova & paulnova & paul member
    It's funny because even though I have a 12 year old I find myself judging other people. I'm sure people have judged me too.
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  • Ms H13Ms H13 member

    I agree with daisybug, mostly I am just jealous that they have children.  Having said that I can definately be judgemental, usually only at the extreme stuff (I think):  parents leaving their kids alone in the car, a coworker who makes her son donate ALL of the toys he gets for his birthday, parents who make their kids be involved in the activities the parents care about but the kids don't care about...

    I think in general IF makes people more appreciative of the children they eventually have.  I think this probably does have a positive effect on parenting.

     Best of luck!

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  • ondjimaondjima member
    imageMs H13:

    I agree with daisybug, mostly I am just jealous that they have children.  Having said that I can definately be judgemental, usually only at the extreme stuff (I think):  parents leaving their kids alone in the car, a coworker who makes her son donate ALL of the toys he gets for his birthday, parents who make their kids be involved in the activities the parents care about but the kids don't care about...

    I think in general IF makes people more appreciative of the children they eventually have.  I think this probably does have a positive effect on parenting.

     Best of luck!

    What? I give her the side eye too. 

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  • zookbridezookbride member

    Omg, do not feel bad. I work in a retail pharmacy in a grocery store and see parent's give their kids whatever they want...or yell at them at the top of their lungs...neither of which I think is appropriate. I roll my eyes at them all.

     I'm not sure what kind of parent I'm going to be, but I hope to Hell I don't look or sound like most of those people do when I do finally have kids. I know I'm going to appreciate what I have b/c of the time it is taking to get pg.

    New to 3T? Check out this website first:
    TroubleTTC

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    Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end --Semisonic

    **TTC since 04/09, C/P 02/02/10; 4 weeks, 3 days**
    **Dx: Anovulation, Hypothryroidism, Mild Endo, Pituitary Adenoma (prolactin issues), PAI-1, MFI **

    **7/10: Clomid + TI= BFN**
    **3/2/11: 1st RE appointment**
    **DH= Morph= 2%, Motility= 30%**
    **HSG= All clear!!**
    **3/11: Femara + Pregnyl + TI= BFN**
    **5/17/11: Laparoscopy / hysteroscopy = mild endo**
    **7/11: Novarel + IUI #1= BFN (7mil, 75% motility, 2% morph)**
    **8/11: Femara + Novarel + IUI #2= BFN (11mil, 35% motility, 1% morph)**
    **11/11: Femara + Novarel + IUI #3= BFN (9mil, 2% morph)**
    **Jan 2012: Follistim (75ius) + IUI #4= CANCELLED due to cyst -put on bcp**
    **Feb 2012: Follistim (75ius) + Novarel + IUI #4.2= BFFN (2.5mil, 13% motility, 1% morph)**
    **Mar 2012: Follistim (100ius) + IUI #5= CANCELLED due to 35mm & 14mm cysts**
    **On med break indefinitely...IF Sucks!**

    **Jan 2013: Follistim (100ius) + IUI #5.2= CANCELLED due to high prolactin level, MRI scheduled, pituitary adenoma found, put on Dostinex**
    **Mar 2013: Follistim (100ius) + IUI #5.3= CANCELLED due to uterine polyp, surgery scheduled for polypectomy and D&C**
    **03/22/13: Hysteroscopy, polypectomy and D&C**
    **May 2013: Finally got to start a cycle!!! Follistim (100ius) + IUI #5.4 = BFFN (6mil, 74% motility, 2% morph)** 

    **Jun 2013: Decide to start IVF**
    IVF w/ICSI #1 (Long Lupron Protocol)
    06/26/13: Start BCPs
    07/02/13: HSG #2= all clear
    07/15/13: Start Lupron 10 ius
    07/25/13: Suppression check
    07/28/13: Start stims (225IUs Follistim + 75IUs Menopur) drop to 5 IUs Lupron
    08/01/13: Monitoring: 12 follicles all about 10mm, E2- 313
    08/04/13: Monitoring: 18 follicles (15mm, 13mm, a few 11mm, rest 10mm or below) E2- 1,505
    Start Augmentin- antibiotic prep
    08/06/13: Monitoring: 13 follicles (18mm, 17mm, rest b/w 15mm-16mm!) Ready to trigger!! E2- 2,248
    08/08/13: ER-- 14R, 13M, 10F 
    08/11/13: One fertilized late, we now have 11 embryos!
    08/13/13: 5dt-- 2 blasts (Sheldon and Penny) 3AA and 3BB, none to freeze
    8/23/13: BFFN... Sheldon and Penny didn't stick**

    **8/29/13: Follow up... bad fragmentation issues. Changing protocol to Antagonist for round #2 coming soon! Also started on 81mg Aspirin after getting blood panel done and found out I have PAI-1**

    **Oct 2013: After large cysts, finally starting IVF #2**
    IVF w/ICSI #2 (Antagonist Protocol)
    BCPs started back in Sept due to cysts
    10/27/13: Start stims (225 IUs Gonal-F + 75 IUs Menopur)
    11/03/13 - 11/05/13: Add Ganirelix to the mix
    11/06/13: 3 follicles at 18mm-- Ready to trigger!
    11/08/13: ER-- 17R, 13M, 8F
    11/13/13: 5dt-- 2 blasts (Luke and Leia) 5AB and 4AB, 1 frostie
    11/20/13- 11/23/13: light positives on FRERs and Wondofos
    11/22/13: BFN per RE office (under HCG of 10)
    11/27/13: CP ::sigh::

    *12/03/13: Follow up...great response and quality this time, was given 50% chance of it working, just didn't stick. Great plan for 2014! 

    **Jan 2014: Last IVF of our SRP**
    IVF w/ICSI, freeze all, then FET
    12/27/13: Start BCPs
    01/19/14: Stims (375 IUs Gonal-F + 75 IUs Menopur)

    Congratulations Cutebride!! --TWINS!! Congratulations, Luvie, on your sweet boy! Congrats, Jess! So happy for you ladies! <3<3  
    ~~Also best of luck to Kati, illinigal, and youngin!~~

    *S/PAIFW*

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