TTC After a Loss

:::dies::: Never Trust A Goat

Sorry to be a PW today. I am home alone after working all week (the first time i've worked all week since August) and don't have a damn thing to do!

Anyways, before I start reading the book club book, I decided to take a peek at a book I downloaded for free on my Nook.

Never Trust a Goat by Tracy Farr

I am only on page 3, but it is the funniest thing ever!! She writes:

"Goats are sneaky. Don't trust them. They'll look you right in the eye as if to say, "You're my best friend," but when you turn your back, they'll head butt you and start eating your new khaki pants. "

"Their cries sound like the cries of children in pain - and the goats know it. Don't go running outside to see what's causing them agon. It's a trap. And they know how to build excellent traps."

"Never give your goats a name... if you get tired of the goats and decide to barbecue them next Friday night... who's going to want to sit down to a plate full of Sassy or Hoppy?"

"Never turn your back on a goat. They ahve shar horns. You may consider a simple impaling as mere playfulness, but I guarantee they mean to draw blood - and lots of it. They don't want you towering over them. They want you on the ground, writhing in agony, your life's blood pouring out of gaping wounds. As you look up at them, you'll notice their teeth are bigger than you thought. And why are they so big? 'The better to eat you with, my dear.'"

 

Okay.. i'll stop now. I could probably re-write this whole book it's so funny!


BFP#1 {Cashew} - 9.19.09 EDD 5.26.10
The day you first lay in my arms, you made my life complete.
Aurora Rose born sleeping at 35w on 4-21-10
BFP#2 {Almond} - 2.1.11 EDD 10.12.11 C/P 2.11.11

Re: :::dies::: Never Trust A Goat

  • Oh one more.

    "Goats can escape anything. Go ahead, pen them in as tightly as you can. Put little handcuffs around their little legs, put a burlap sack over their heads, throw them in a locked chest, bury the chest six feet deep, pour concrete in the hole, and park your car over the top. The goats will be out by morning."


    BFP#1 {Cashew} - 9.19.09 EDD 5.26.10
    The day you first lay in my arms, you made my life complete.
    Aurora Rose born sleeping at 35w on 4-21-10
    BFP#2 {Almond} - 2.1.11 EDD 10.12.11 C/P 2.11.11

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  • hahahaha, thanks for the laugh!
  • Perfect descriptions!

    BFP#1: 7/14/10.  EDD: 3/19/11--MMC-- D&C 9/2/10.
    BFP#2: 12:22/10.EDD: 8/30/11 C/P 12/25/10
    BFP#3: 10/26/11 EDD: 7/2/12-- Daniel born 7/14/12. My rainbow baby!                                                                                                                                           BFP #4:  2.22/15 EDD: 11/4/15 C/P 2/28/15                                                                                                                                                                                      BFP #5:  4/5/15   EDD 12/11/15 (Ectopic Pregnancy)

    BFP #6: 3/2/16 EDD 11/5/16
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  • No worries about being a PW... I always love your posts. This one is hilarious... even better- does it have pictures?
    BFP#1 9/14/10 (EDD 5/21/11); no fetal pole 6w6d, 7w4d, d&c 10/8
    BFP#2 3/16/11, beta 138; 4/12 Baby/HB DS born 9/10/11 at 29w4d due to partial abruption and PTL
    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    BFP#3 8/19/13 Another boy! 17P, modified bedrest and Nifedipine helped us have a termie! DS2 born 4/19/14 at 38w5d.
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  • imagehaziedaze:
    No worries about being a PW... I always love your posts. This one is hilarious... even better- does it have pictures?

    None Sad And I just found out the rest of the book is just other essays with other topics. That short essay was the only one about goats (so far). So sad.


    BFP#1 {Cashew} - 9.19.09 EDD 5.26.10
    The day you first lay in my arms, you made my life complete.
    Aurora Rose born sleeping at 35w on 4-21-10
    BFP#2 {Almond} - 2.1.11 EDD 10.12.11 C/P 2.11.11

  • LMAO!! This is so funny!!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    BFP-2/4/10 EDD-9/27/10 M/C-2/11/10 7w3d D&C and Methotrexate-2/19/10
    BFP-11/21/10 M/C-11/25/10
    Clomid Cycle #1-BFN
    Clomid Cycle #2-BFP-1/18/2011 M/C-1/26/2011
    BFP-5/18/11 Riley arrived 2/3/12 8lbs6oz 21.5in
  • too funny! enjoy your day with nothing to do.. that's the best!
  • I am laughing so hard my husband thinks I'm crazy. Thanks for posting!
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  • Awesome!!!  Thanks for sharing!
    Mom to Eliott Alexander, born sleeping at 37 weeks on 8/13/10. Most of us only dream of angels - I held one in my arms.
    BFP #2 - EDD 2/26/12 M/C 6/28/11 @ 5w2d
    BFP #3 - EDD 4/7/12 M/C 8/2/11 @ 4w2d
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    BFP #4 - EDD 12/09/12, Lucille arrived 11/26/12
  • ROFL! That was super fantastic! Thanks for the laugh!
    12/13/10 BFP 12/23/10 Miscarriage 3/6/11 BFP EDD 11/09/11 11/03/11 C-Section at 39w1d for failure to progress on induction for HBP and GD Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Image and video hosting by TinyPic Cincinnati Reds Pictures, Images and Photos image ~~~~~Everyone Welcome PgAL/PAL~~~~~~
  • awesome! Yes
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  • Love it!
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  • The next time we have a goat you should start posting some goat trivia in response Stick out tongue
    m/c 7/17/10
    Dx: MFI- 3% morph
    IUIs: Gonal-F + Ovidrel + b2b IUI= BFNs
    IVF with ICSI= BFP! EDD 11/25/11
    3/18- Beta #1 452! 3/20- Beta #2 1,026!! 3/27- First u/s- TWINS!
    Our twin boys arrived at 36w5d due to IUGR and a growth discordance

    FET: Medicated FET moved up to 5/23 due to ovulation
    Transferred a 6BB hatched blastocyst- genetically normal female embryo
    BFP! 5/28- 5dp6dt      
    6/1 Beta #1- 223! 6/3 Beta #2- 567!

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    Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.
  • bwhahahaha!

    This works on SOOOOO many levels!!!


    BFP #1 via IUI ~ L (Fatal Birth Defect) 4/7/10
    BFP #2 via IUI ~ m/c
    BFP #3 via cancelled IUI ~ C (2lb 3oz; HELLP) 5/16/11
    BFP #4 via the natural (free!) way ~ E (8lb 11oz) 9/13/12
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  • Oooh, finally some words of wisdom to put with the goat gifs and reply posts.

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    BFP #1 5/2010 - Missed m/c at 8 weeks
    BFP #2 2/2011
    Baby G welcomed with love and relief 10/2011
    Surprise BFP 1/8/2013...say what? Baby A arrived 9/2013

    Motherhood is not for wimps

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  • I wish the whole book was about it!  You need to keep those gems for our next goat!
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    ??? TTCAL Buddies w/ BabyTrippin & CashewsMommy ???
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  • that was too funny!  thanks for sharing!
    image Robbie's Blog
    DD #1 born 10/21/03

    DD #2 born 2/8/06

    DS no hb 11/17/10 at 21w1d, d&e 11/24,demise due to fetal hydrops, from congestive heart failure, probably caused by structural malformation

    Our Rango....BFP 2/6/11...hb on 2/23...perfectly healthy, but no hb on 6/9/11 d & e 6/15/2011
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  • This made my day :) ROFL
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  • LMAO!!!!  That is funny!!!!
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