Pregnant after 35
Options
Surprise! I'm pregnant... at 39
I need some encouragement here... We have a 14 year old and a 2-1/2 year old. It took us 2 years of trying to have the 2 year old. Now, without trying we're pregnant again. My husband was layed off in February and in September we lost our 4100 sq foot house and had to move into our lake house of 1000 sq feet. So we're cramped in a 2-bdrm 1-bath already. 2010 was the year from hell. My husband (age 39) had a stroke 3 weeks ago and has heart surgery next week. I know we should be happy but we weren't planning another one and I'm struggling with it. We've only known for 2 days and we're 5 weeks along. We haven't told anyone. We don't want the remarks 'what were you thinking?' I know God is testing my faith but I'm overwhelmed at the moment. We will be happy with another baby. We talked about having one before but not NOW. Our life is a wreck.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Surprise! I'm pregnant... at 39
Congratulations on your exciting news! As for your financial/personal situation, I think most people can relate to an extent (maybe not losing a 4100 sq foot house or having severe medical issues) but in today?s economy if everyone waited till they were 100% financially well off to have a child or in your case another no one would be having babies.
I can certainly understand your concern about what others would say/react to your good news (I?m actually learning more about this through the board than my own personal experience?I?m very fortunate, if people think I?m doing something wrong in my life, they refrain from telling me). Having a child is a personal decision and the only people that should really matter are you and husband (I know it?s probably easier for me to say)
I will say that you came to the right place for encouragement and support. Everyone on this board has been truly positive and I enjoy logging on and seeing what everyone has to say and their comments to a members dilemma (Pregnant over 35 is my favorite board). I wish you the very best and hope that you continue to update us.
Delivered 3 weeks and 2 days early via emergency c/s due to pre-e
I'm a FIRM believer that God NEVER gives you more than you can handle and obviously trusts that even during these trying times you needed a little miracle to re-focus. so while your life may seem upside down and radically different than it was, try to embrace the changes, focus on the positive and realize that the feeling of being overwhelmed will only make you feel stronger when you look back and realize all that you've survived.
You have a roof, a husband who survived a stroke and is receiving medical care and will hopefully find his health on the upswing. You may only have a 2 bedroom house but it is a roof - not the house you're used to but it is shelter. But most of all, despite all that you've been through - you have faith. Tested as it feels, it's still there. Rely on that faith and it will bring you through the hardest times.
Unexpected as it may be (it was for us too), babies are miracles. This little one will bring even more love into your family at a time that love may be the glue needed to get you through.
Good luck finding the upside of everything going on - and here's hoping for a happy and healthy 9 months!
You guys made me cry... well, ok, it's easy to do, I'm pregnant
I appreciate the words of encouragement. You are so right, this is a miracle. While an unplanned miracle it's still a miracle. The doctors told us 4 years ago that we'd never conceive on our own and now we've done it twice. I'm having a hard time seeing the positive so I thank you for that! I know we'll get through this its just a lot to digest. My husband has heart surgery next week so one step at a time.
I just called the doctor and my first appointment and first sono is 1/25. After that we may tell our sisters. They are a huge support system so without telling them I'm feeling alone at the moment.
Thanks to all my bump sisters for making me feel like I'm not alone!
Congratulations on your latest miracle. I agree with what LauraLynne said. This little miracle will certainly give you something positive to focus on with everything else going on in your lives.
Wishing you and your husband luck with his surgery. It will be so nice to have that hurdle behind you in another couple of weeks.
H&H 9 months.
I can totally relate to your mixed feelings and being unsure what to do.
I was 39 when I got pregnant (i flipped over to the big 4-0 a month later)
This is my first pregnancy, and was completely unplanned.
I had been told for the last 20 years that I wouldn't be able to conceive without medical assistance. My husband and I were just fine with that and went about our lives child free. I always felt that if I was meant to be a mother, nature would do her thing and I'd get pregnant. Otherwise, taking additional measures or adoption was something I wasn't interested in.
I've never been one of those women that felt the overwhelming need to procreate. My life is just as complete without kids, I have a great career, a great husband, love to travel, and 3 beautiful cats that love to cuddle.
I was put on Metformin for insulin resistance. The doctor neglected to mention that it's also used to treat PCOS patients for infertility. Although in her defense, it never occurred to her that I might have PCOS. I never saw an infertility specialist so neither of us knew that my specific infertility disorder WAS in fact PCOS.
While my husband and I always used additional birth control (spermicides primarily), approximately 6 months after taking Metformin, I became pregnant.
My husband's first reaction was that we terminate the pregnancy. We debated for a few days, his position never changed.
I'm not a Christian. I don't believe in the whole "will of God". But I do believe in fate/destiny. I won't say that there are "no coincidences", it's hard to argue when a certain number of them happen in just the right order.
I couldn't see myself as a mother, but I also didn't want to see myself in 10 or 20 years thinking back and regretting terminating the one pregnancy I ever had.
While I was not happy knowing that I ended up pregnant primarily due to pharmacology, I also couldn't discount that I was still using birth control, and still got pregnant while some PCOS patients never get pregnant while on the medication.
I was 7.5 weeks pregnant when I found out. PCOS ladies like myself don't get regular periods, so not having a period for months was nothing new for me.
I'm 19 weeks now, my husband is committed to being the best Dad he can be. I'm still terrified, but we've made it through the amnio and all the other tests and our daughter is growing normal and healthy so far.
You have a choice, proceed with the pregnancy or not, but it's your choice. You have to do what's right for you and your family, and decide what you can and can't live with later down the line. Nobody else can make that decision for you.
You may even be in a situation like mine, where your feelings on the matter don't match your husband's. But my husband made the choice to stay with me and be the Dad he never had for our baby.
Good luck to you and your family. I hope that you have no regrets
Congrats...I echo what pp said ( I can't say it as well). This baby is a miracle and God will provide!
Best wishes for your husband's health to improve and a h & H 9 for you
Wow, that's a lot going on!
Congratulations, and happy and healthy pregnancy to you!
It sounds like the timing was pretty good emotionally, if not financially. It's always nice to hear a tiny voice saying "life!" when things get rough. Good luck!