We are in a BAD place with infant sleeping

hellopoppyseed · January 2011

Something has to change. My almost 4 month old is waking every 45-60 min of the night. This is not waking 2-3 times to eat. This is waking every single hour. All of them! He no longer does a long stretch at the beginning either.

It all started after we came down with colds when he was 2.5 months. Before that he was at two nightly wakings to eat and he was moving towards one. So he has been doing this for 1.5 months.

I thought the problem was that he was getting overtired. For the past two days I have been extra diligent about helping him get good naps. I've been rocking him, holding him for naps, and wearing him in the moby. I am trying an earlier bedtime but last night he still did not go to sleep till about 7:15. I don't know what to do. I will try the early bedtime again and have dh check him for an ear infection. I am still swaddling even though he escapes all the time. Maybe I will go to a sleep sack. His naps are only 45 min but I think that's pretty common for this age.

Obviously I am very tired. My head hurts daily and my whole body aches. Dh works 5:30am - 6:15pm so he doesn't help at night but he doesn't really hear ds2 anyway. I need to get groceries but I just don't care anymore (we have stuff to feed ds1).

We let ds1 CIO at 6 months when he would no longer let us rock him to sleep but would scream while we tried. At 6 months, I knew how long he typically went without eating in the night and I never made him go longer than what he naturally could do. The whole process went smoothly and he has been a great sleeper since. I think 4 months is probably too young for CIO. I don't know what to do for us. I am not functioning well at all and I am not enjoying life much at this point.

Any suggestions? Thank you

Stacyc625 · January 2011

Man Poppy. that is ROUGH. I feel so bad for you.

We had some issues with naps last week- and it was so HARD to enjoy him because it was just so miserable. Icouldn't imagine that night time nightmare.

Are you FFing or BFing?

Do you have any white noise?

have you tried a nice bath and massage before bed?

MrsBalletStar05 · January 2011

We never experienced this with either of our boys at this time, but "they" always talk about the 4 month wakeful. That sounds like what you are going through now. I HAVE gone through crap like this (just at a different time period) and it has passed. I truly know how you feel and it SUCKS. I just hung on as best I could until DH had some time off and I could get a nap in (usually 2-3 days in a row). I also TRIED to get both kids to take a nap at the same time (ocassionally it worked, but not often) so I could rest. I too, couldn't let him CIO. I actually had no problem with letting the first one, but this one is different and I knew it would just end in disaster. I messed with naps and bedtimes as well. He had been sleeping well, and I think we went through this spell twice and each time lasted around a week or so before it worked itself out. I would get so tired, and I would just go through the bedtime routine, keep it dark and quiet, make sure he was fed and changed, and would bring him to bed with me. At the very least I was able to doze for a little bit before he was hungry again.

Probably not the answer you are looking for, but wanted to let you know I've been there! DS#1 was the best sleeper ever (STTN since 5 weeks and always slept 10+ hours) and this little guy has been awful. But they were phases that generally pass, and now he sleeps by himself for 7 hours in the crib before getting up once for a bottle and going back down for another 3+ hours. I can handle 1 waking. 5+ not so much!!

lms_bride · January 2011

Soo sorry. That is so hard. I feel for you. We are struggling with naps (as he cries while I type this), but that is different than nighttime sleeping.

- Some thoughts - have you tried re-reading any of the sleep books you have (if you use them)? I used Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. I also find that when I'm having trouble and go re-read the pertinent chapters, I usually glean something that I had forgotten. Possibly a critical component that may make the difference (trying even earlier for bedtime, etc)

- Unlikely, but is he teething? Travis is pretty darn fussy right now and his sleep habits have regressed and I'm attributing it to teething, even though I don't see one yet.

- I think CIO for 20 or so minutes at that age is probably ok. I agree, not much more than that, but have you tried for at least 10-15 minutes?

- Possible reflux or some other issue that can spring up at this age?

I wish I had more helpful input. Hang in there... go back into survival mode until you figure this out.

hellopoppyseed · January 2011

Thanks for your responses. I am starting to suspect an ear infection or something else. Last night he seemed a little warm to me and then his first time to wake (like 45 min later at 8:06) he seemed sweaty and the sheet was a little wet from sweat but his forehead was cool as a cucumber then.

I've brought him to bed with me for the whole night and he is extremely restless through his sleep transitions. He wakes and cries out even when I'm next to him. hmmmmm. He is terribly difficult to get to sleep and he didn't used to be that way. If I cradle him, he rubs his face and head against my arm and rubs the paci out of his mouth. He is breastfed. We do use white noise cranked up like a jet airplane. What else...I don't know about reflux. He doesn't spit up at all really. Sometimes he will nurse a while and then start crying right before the milk lets down-I just read that could be due to pain from an ear infection. Oh-I haven't let him cry for really any length of time. I get to him in prob 30 seconds. When we let ds1 CIO, he cried for 18 min max so I guess I could try it a little once I eliminate any health issues.

I don't know. I'm almost hoping it is an ear infection so that at least it's treatable and it would all make sense. Otherwise I could do some re-reading and try some other things. In the daytime I always have some hope but in the night, my hope is dashed again and I'm miserable.

lms_bride · January 2011

hellopoppyseed:
Thanks for your responses. I am starting to suspect an ear infection or something else. Last night he seemed a little warm to me and then his first time to wake (like 45 min later at 8:06) he seemed sweaty and the sheet was a little wet from sweat but his forehead was cool as a cucumber then.
I've brought him to bed with me for the whole night and he is extremely restless through his sleep transitions. He wakes and cries out even when I'm next to him. hmmmmm. He is terribly difficult to get to sleep and he didn't used to be that way. If I cradle him, he rubs his face and head against my arm and rubs the paci out of his mouth. He is breastfed. We do use white noise cranked up like a jet airplane. What else...I don't know about reflux. He doesn't spit up at all really. Sometimes he will nurse a while and then start crying right before the milk lets down-I just read that could be due to pain from an ear infection. Oh-I haven't let him cry for really any length of time. I get to him in prob 30 seconds. When we let ds1 CIO, he cried for 18 min max so I guess I could try it a little once I eliminate any health issues.
I don't know. I'm almost hoping it is an ear infection so that at least it's treatable and it would all make sense. Otherwise I could do some re-reading and try some other things. In the daytime I always have some hope but in the night, my hope is dashed again and I'm miserable.

Can you get him to the doctor today? I'd eliminate the health thing asap (or as you said, maybe its an ear infection and you can get him on meds). But yeah I would let him cry for more than 30 seconds... but that's just me. But adding everything up, it does sound like something else may be going on.

Good luck, I hope you get some answers. And some sleep. And I hope he feels better.

Mrs06708tobe · January 2011

I'm so sorry you're going through this too! My DS went through the four month wakeful and it was awful. He was giving us 5 to 7 hour stretches up until 4 months and then he ripped it away and it was like he was a newborn again. Up every two hours, every night the only way I could get him back to sleep those nights was to nurse him to sleep. One thing we did do was let him sleep in the swing some nights. That helped through the sleep cycles and he would remain asleep through them. Also my DS did the same thing yours did when nursing. At this age they are getting a lot better at nursing and I know with my DS if my milk wasn't flowing as fast as he was eating he would get mad and I always worried my supply was dipping or he wasn't getting enough. It could just be that he likes a steady flow and until you let down he isn't getting that. Could also be an ear infection and as other pp said I would certainly get that checked to rule that out. My DS didn't have reflux but sometimes sleeping in his swing in that "sitting" up position really helped....I feel for you though...we really didn't get over it until we sleep trained at 6 months. We tried CIO but he certainly wasn't ready at 4 1/2 months and I wasn't ready. I'm really sorry for your deprived sleep. I hope you get some advice from your pedi or this phase passes quickly.

Stacyc625 · January 2011

Chase did the same thing last week. he was waking up a lot at night and was really clammy and sweaty. but that was only one night for us. i couldn't imagine what you are going through.

have you tried keeping it SUPER chill in the evening before bedtime? (i know that isn't always possible but maybe at least until this phase snaps?) Its hard with a toddler already- (that i know)- but try a nice bath, massage, and keep the lights dim and maybe some chill music on.

Funny- cause i use the white noise for chase- and i usually use the ocean setting. this morning for S&G (sh*ts and giggles) I tried the lullyabye setting and he slept 2.5hrs longer than usual. Could be a fluke- but we will see what happens this nap. so maybe switch up some white noise.

hellopoppyseed · January 2011

I don't know. I'm looking at him now and he's smiling and cooing. Maybe he's fine. I will try keeping it very calm at night. It is hard with a toddler and trying to make dinner and getting ds2 ready for bed all at once. Maybe we will eat frozen soup and I'll really work on it. I hope this is a phase but it's gone on for over a month and just gotten worse. I can't wait till he figures out how to sleep on his tummy and maybe that will help too. Maybe the swing would work too. Might as well try some new things. I can't lose any more sleep than I already am!

hellopoppyseed · January 2011

Thank you so much for your response. My dh is actually a first year intern working insane hours. :-) I pmed you one time in response to something a long time ago because I think your dh is military too. Anyway ive thought about the belly sleeping. Dh said don't but we may revisit the topic now. He can roll from front to back and almost has back to front but not yet. It sounds like you did the best thing you could with CIO. I know when we did it with ds1, it was the best thing we could have done and he turned into a great sleeper. I just wish ds2s sleeping issues had not come along so early. I can't handle this for 2 more months. I've been putting him in the bed some too but I don't sleep well and dh is in the guest room. This weekend we will be moving ds2 to the guest room (he's in his regular crib now but just in the corner of our room.) We've just been having lots of guests lately so we couldn't move him yet. I haven't been letting him cry at all yet so it might be worth it to see if he can settle himself.

cepcep · January 2011

I agree with pp's that it could be reflux and you should get to the Dr ASAP. My girls had silent reflux, they didn't spit up - it would just come half way up the esophagus and back down. You could hear it and then hear the stomach rumbling. The answer for us was an antacid which has no side effects. Its worth a try!

My DD#1 never slept for more than 45 mins, the first night we gave her the antacid she slept from midnight to 6am. It was a miracle!

Take care!!!

hellopoppyseed · January 2011

Oops meant to copy steelerfan on the last one.

hellopoppyseed · January 2011

cepcep:
I agree with pp's that it could be reflux and you should get to the Dr ASAP. My girls had silent reflux, they didn't spit up - it would just come half way up the esophagus and back down. You could hear it and then hear the stomach rumbling. The answer for us was an antacid which has no side effects. Its worth a try!
My DD#1 never slept for more than 45 mins, the first night we gave her the antacid she slept from midnight to 6am. It was a miracle!
Take care!!!

Wow that is amazing and worth a try.

Dochas · January 2011

This happened to us and it turned out he was teething. The bottom two teeth were out on his 4mth "birthday". Then he didn't really get better. I just read the Ferber book and we've been having great success so far. The information in the book was very good and we decided to go with it. He didn't even really cry - more just yelled for a few minutes the first night. We're trying to space the feedings out at night now too so it's down to 1 in the middle of the night. I don't think I could have done it if he really cried.

It's miserable, I know. I know how tired you are and I hope you get relief soon.

hellopoppyseed · January 2011

Dochas:
This happened to us and it turned out he was teething. The bottom two teeth were out on his 4mth "birthday". Then he didn't really get better. I just read the Ferber book and we've been having great success so far. The information in the book was very good and we decided to go with it. He didn't even really cry - more just yelled for a few minutes the first night. We're trying to space the feedings out at night now too so it's down to 1 in the middle of the night. I don't think I could have done it if he really cried.
It's miserable, I know. I know how tired you are and I hope you get relief soon.

Thank you

mrsolsen2000 · January 2011

Hugs to you! My DD was (and still is) a horrible sleeper. We too were up every 45 minutes with her. Two months of that and I had a hallucination from sleep deprivation. I literally was a zombie. Can you get help? A mom, MIL, someone who can come for a few hours so you can sleep? If I could get one 2 or 3 hour stretch a day it helped so much.

Also get your LO's ears checked asap to rule that out and other health issues. Good luck.

smiling76 · January 2011

OMG I feel so bad for you. I know what you are dealing with. DS still is a horrible sleeper but it's gotten better. When he was an itty bitty he wouldn't sleep at all----up every hour to two like yours and only napped maybe 10-15 min a day--the doctors couldn't believe it. I was like you--at my wit's end literally.

It ended up he did have reflux (and I think he still does)----the meds helped us a little bit but what helped a LOT was letting him sleep on his belly. It scared me to death---but I have the angelcare monitor so that helped and I didn't keep anything else in his crib. He started sleeping 2....sometimes 3 hrs at a time at night. Heaven.

I BF'd him and I thought he had a milk allergy---they did a stool sample and said no---well.....fast forward to around 11 months old and I tried to give him formula and he broke out like crazy! I knew it was milk. Trust your gut. We also found out he was allergic to eggs, wheat, all dairy, soy, peanuts and tree nuts. So even soy formula wouldn't have helped.

I say visit the doc right away----try an antacid.....it won't hurt them. You never know. I think we did Zantac at first. Prevacid is another but he vomited it up.

Try the belly sleeping (if you can). And you mentioned swaddling--my son hated it---we moved to the sleep blanket thingys and that worked better.

hellopoppyseed · January 2011

Thank you. I am a little eager to rule out reflux now. I know he is more sensitive to things in general than his brother. He is very fair like me and seems to get skin irritations easily. That makes me wonder if he is prone to anything else. I hope not. We tried the sleep sack the other night and he was all over the place with his arms and pushing the paci out of his mouth which woke him. I hope we figure this out soon!

Que*Syrah · January 2011

we went through this for months. ds woke every 45 minutes-1 hour all.night.long. dh works nights so i was flying solo and was a total zombie. i tried cio but being alone i couldn't hack it. once he started just screaming hysterically and puking all over himself i gave up. i read the book, i followed the directions but i just couldn't take it. i tried putting to bed earlier, later, switching naps up, more solids, less solids...anything i could think of.

in the end, the only thing that worked was time. eventually he started sleeping better and in the last month he has started giving me two 5-6 hour stretches.

hang in there, and know that you are not alone! i hope you start getting some sleep soon.

hellopoppyseed · January 2011

Que_Syrah:
we went through this for months. ds woke every 45 minutes-1 hour all.night.long. dh works nights so i was flying solo and was a total zombie. i tried cio but being alone i couldn't hack it. once he started just screaming hysterically and puking all over himself i gave up. i read the book, i followed the directions but i just couldn't take it. i tried putting to bed earlier, later, switching naps up, more solids, less solids...anything i could think of.
in the end, the only thing that worked was time. eventually he started sleeping better and in the last month he has started giving me two 5-6 hour stretches.
hang in there, and know that you are not alone! i hope you start getting some sleep soon.

Wow. Thank you. And I thought ds1 was a difficult sleeper. Ok I guess I'm prepared for anything. Time is going by pretty fast and I know I will look back and think this didn't last long-hopefully.

Que*Syrah · January 2011

hellopoppyseed:
Que_Syrah:
we went through this for months. ds woke every 45 minutes-1 hour all.night.long. dh works nights so i was flying solo and was a total zombie. i tried cio but being alone i couldn't hack it. once he started just screaming hysterically and puking all over himself i gave up. i read the book, i followed the directions but i just couldn't take it. i tried putting to bed earlier, later, switching naps up, more solids, less solids...anything i could think of.
in the end, the only thing that worked was time. eventually he started sleeping better and in the last month he has started giving me two 5-6 hour stretches.
hang in there, and know that you are not alone! i hope you start getting some sleep soon.
Wow. Thank you. And I thought ds1 was a difficult sleeper. Ok I guess I'm prepared for anything. Time is going by pretty fast and I know I will look back and think this didn't last long-hopefully.

you will! i already barely remember those days...lol. i also have long forgotten the days of endless crying with colic that i thought would never end.

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