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after 3 years..

nilly5nilly5 member
in Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months

...I do believe that my relationship has come to it's end.

Last night my bf and I got into a discussion about why we're not having sex anymore. (It's been 6 months) Well, come to find that he thinks having sex with me is just another "Job". I want it too much....sorry, but when u got MONTHS at a time, wouldnt u want it more? He said he wants to do something "for himself" and that I should just be satisfied with a kiss & I love u. Hell, I'm lucky if he ever cuddles with me.

I'm at the end of my rope. I'm going to work today, but when I get home, I'm telling him I think we need to be apart. I cant be with someone who doesnt want to be intimate with me on more then a "hug & kiss" level.

btw- I've looked in to see if he would be cheating or some logical explaination for why he's not wanting to have sex.....there is none. Basically, I think he wants out but doesnt want me to leave because he doesnt want me to take our son away. I guess he should have thought harder....

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Re: after 3 years..

  • Princess_LilyPrincess_Lily member

    I'm sorry your going through this, especially as a mother.  Be strong.  Know your doing the right thing for you and your family.

    You may come out stronger than you think from this.

     

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  • gaughan258gaughan258
    If sex is the only problem, I think you should stick around. It sounds like he has a low sex drive, he should talk to his doctor about it. It really is a medical condition. Since you do have a son together, I don't think picking up and just leaving is that easy.
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  • nilly5nilly5 member

    imagegaughan258:
    If sex is the only problem, I think you should stick around. It sounds like he has a low sex drive, he should talk to his doctor about it. It really is a medical condition. Since you do have a son together, I don't think picking up and just leaving is that easy.

    No, there are other problems also. I've stuck around for 3 years, and he doesnt act the same anymore. I think he secretly loves it when I'm gone. So honestly, this relationship has come to its end. I'm not going to stick around because we have a son together. I'm unhappy because I dont feel wanted...other then to do dishes, clean and pay bills. The spark is not there anymore.

    It's not low sex drive...he just doesnt want to because basically I'm "selfish"

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  • Mommy2B_HartMommy2B_Hart
    I'm sorry you're going through this.  Good luck in making the best decisions for you and your son.
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  • Sage MommySage Mommy

    imagegaughan258:
    If sex is the only problem, I think you should stick around. It sounds like he has a low sex drive, he should talk to his doctor about it. It really is a medical condition. Since you do have a son together, I don't think picking up and just leaving is that easy.

    I think this is horrible advice. Kids and parents both deserve to have a happy household. OP, do what is best for you and your LO and best of luck to you. sorry you are going through this.

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  • gaughan258gaughan258
    imageSage Mommy:

    imagegaughan258:
    If sex is the only problem, I think you should stick around. It sounds like he has a low sex drive, he should talk to his doctor about it. It really is a medical condition. Since you do have a son together, I don't think picking up and just leaving is that easy.

    I think this is horrible advice. Kids and parents both deserve to have a happy household. OP, do what is best for you and your LO and best of luck to you. sorry you are going through this.

    It's not advice at all. Sadly, it is reality.

    OP, I agree that you need to do what is best for you and your son. 

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  • MrsJMBMrsJMB
    ((hugs))  sorry you're going through this!  
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  • Sage MommySage Mommy
    imagegaughan258:
    imageSage Mommy:

    imagegaughan258:
    If sex is the only problem, I think you should stick around. It sounds like he has a low sex drive, he should talk to his doctor about it. It really is a medical condition. Since you do have a son together, I don't think picking up and just leaving is that easy.

    I think this is horrible advice. Kids and parents both deserve to have a happy household. OP, do what is best for you and your LO and best of luck to you. sorry you are going through this.

    It's not advice at all. Sadly, it is reality.

    OP, I agree that you need to do what is best for you and your son. 

    I read it the wrong way. Sorry.

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  • lewis514lewis514
    If there are other problems, besides sex, I would talk to him and then make the best decision for you and your son. My DH and I have gone through very long dry spells without sex mainly because DH was having heart palpitations that would cause panic attacks (We've not been together for 11 years). While I was NOT happy with it, the underlying relationship is strong enough for it not to be a dealbreaker. DH did go to doctors about this and also lost weight to alleviate his symptoms so he was trying. I needed to put less pressure on him as well which decreased stress. So I think intimacy is important but it's not a dealbreaker at times if there are other things going on and the relationship is strong. It sounds like you have other issues also & these need to be addressed or changed.
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