TTC After a Loss

*|*| Nightly Confessions |*|*

What's going on ladies?

 

 

*** Just a reminder -  the Nightly Confessions post is not so much about what you are doing this evening but more to confess something that you did today that you wouldn't tell anyone else.***  

Humphrey - the TTCAL mascotimage
image
"I'm not telling you it's gonna be easy. I'm telling you it's gonna be worth it." -Art Williams
"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity. And I'm not sure about the universe." - Albert Einstein

Re: *|*| Nightly Confessions |*|*

  • I realized earlier this week that I have been having really awful hateful feelings towards a girl who is pregnant and due 5 days before my EDD. She has been really careful never to even talk about her pregnancy in front of me (she is 26 weeks) and I have been a total b^tch to her every time we have talked. I need an attitude adjustment!
    June 2010-Lap
    b2b Injectable IUI #1 7/25/10 & 7/26/10 = BFP beta 14dpIUI = 133 MC 9/14 at 9 weeks
    b2b Injectable IUI #2 12/5/10 & 12/6/10 = BFN
    IVF #1 ER 3/28/11 ET 3 embryos 3/31/11= BFN
    b2b Injectable IUI#3 6/28/11 & 6/29/11 = BFN
    PAIF/SAIF Welcome :)

    Submitted Adoption Application on 6/1/2011
    Homestudy 7/19/2011
    IVF#2 CX due to Adoption Match
    We were blessed with our daughter through the gift of adoption
    IVF #2.1 ET 2 embryos 2/14/13 7 frostiesLilypie First Birthday tickers

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  • imageinlovewithB:
    I realized earlier this week that I have been having really awful hateful feelings towards a girl who is pregnant and due 5 days before my EDD. She has been really careful never to even talk about her pregnancy in front of me (she is 26 weeks) and I have been a total b^tch to her every time we have talked. I need an attitude adjustment!

     

    I have a woman at work that is due 1 week before I was suppose to be and I have just completely ignored her since my m/c and I feel really bad that I haven't asked her once how she is doing.

    BFP #1 -7/29, EDD-4/5/11, missed m/c at 9 weeks, discovered 9/22, d&c-9/23
    BFP #2 -1/9/11, EDD-9/22/11 DD born 9/12/11
    BFP #3 - 10/2/13 chemical pregnancy
    BFP #4 - 12/25/13 Missed m/c at 8 weeks baby only measured 3 weeks
  • imagebsustar62:

    imageinlovewithB:
    I realized earlier this week that I have been having really awful hateful feelings towards a girl who is pregnant and due 5 days before my EDD. She has been really careful never to even talk about her pregnancy in front of me (she is 26 weeks) and I have been a total b^tch to her every time we have talked. I need an attitude adjustment!

     

    I have a woman at work that is due 1 week before I was suppose to be and I have just completely ignored her since my m/c and I feel really bad that I haven't asked her once how she is doing.

    She is someone I worked with. I quit my full-time position, but still go in once a week for a few hours. I just can't bring myself to ask how she is feeling or how her baby is doing. I look at her and I get to jealous and angry. I hate that I feel this way, but I don't know how to change it. 

    June 2010-Lap
    b2b Injectable IUI #1 7/25/10 & 7/26/10 = BFP beta 14dpIUI = 133 MC 9/14 at 9 weeks
    b2b Injectable IUI #2 12/5/10 & 12/6/10 = BFN
    IVF #1 ER 3/28/11 ET 3 embryos 3/31/11= BFN
    b2b Injectable IUI#3 6/28/11 & 6/29/11 = BFN
    PAIF/SAIF Welcome :)

    Submitted Adoption Application on 6/1/2011
    Homestudy 7/19/2011
    IVF#2 CX due to Adoption Match
    We were blessed with our daughter through the gift of adoption
    IVF #2.1 ET 2 embryos 2/14/13 7 frostiesLilypie First Birthday tickers

  • I've been mad at my best friend all day because she was insensitive last night and wouldn't shut up about her newly pregnant SIL. I should just tell her that she hurt my feelings but it's easier being mad and waiting for it to blow over.
    After two losses, a rainbow arrived! DD born 11.5.11
    Dx with severe Asherman's syndrome after a botched PP D&C (pursuing med mal)
    Hysteroscopy Oct '13, not enough progress 
    Hysteroscopy Jan '14, given an end-of-the-road diagnosis
    Joined International Asherman's Association April '14 
    Not ready to give up yet.
    Hysteroscopy with Dr. Isaacson (an expert in the USA) 6.2.14: Good prognosis, at least 50% of cavity open.
    Repeat hysteroscopy scheduled with Dr. I on 6.16.14. Great progress. Unbenched!!!!
    Discussing actively TTC with DH after the heartache of the last year. We're both reeling.
     
    Please, please, please. 
  • I deleted a facebook friend for being a b!tch. It is so immature, but it felt so good.
  • I am depressed an old friend of mine whom I had a falling out with last year still isn't speaking to me, I want their friendship so bad...
    imageVincent Julian born on March 27th, 2013 DX with Down Syndrome image
    baby
      BabyFruit Ticker
    image
  • I think its utterly hilarious when a poster asks a dumb question, receives a slap for their stupid question, then comes back and posts again saying crap which basically boils down to calling us meanie heads. Its almost a sick funny cause I think about how twisted up these silly people get their panties and it just makes me very spitefully overjoyed.

    I also would like to confess that I realized today I have welcomed almost no one new to the board and while I feel bad cause there are def some new posters who have some good input, there is also a high level of drive by/phishing for "omg yur preggo" and its killing my drive to welcome anyone new. I swear I'm not usually this spiteful in general, just incredibly irritated by the constancy of the same old question which is clearly answered in the ttcal blog. 

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  • It's a little too early in my cycle for me to FWP, but I told DH that I could ovulate anytime between today and the 18th =)

    Also, this may be a FFFC, but I feel bad that I don't chart, and do not participate in the chart stalking and charting posts.  I really try to be supportive when I can, and hope that it comes across that way =)  I really love this board and are so grateful for everyone here.

  • I went to a consignment store this afternoon. I found a brand new Carter's Baby's 1st Prints kit, a mint-condition "What to Expect: The First Year" book and a gently-used pair of Motherhood Maternity jeans. I spent $10 total! I bought it for my pg sis but now I feel like keeping it for me Embarrassed.
    Natural MCs 2/4/09, 8/22/09 & 4/7/10
    Dx with Antiphospholipid Antibody Syndrome (APS)
    BFP #4 5/14/12
    5/17/12...1st Betas- 176, P4 3.6
    5/22/12...2nd Betas- 207, P4 6.1 (MC confirmed)
  • I decided to make a blog about my m/c. I haven't decided how public I want to make it yet (i.e. do I want non-board people to read it), but we'll see. Part of me wants to make it super public to spread awareness that m/c's happen and they're not contagious or shameful, but part of me isn't sure I want to draw attention to my loss (more for my husband's sake than for my own).
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    Congrats to both my TTC buddies, Amberley18 and sb2006 on their beautiful babies!
  • imageIzabella22:

    I think its utterly hilarious when a poster asks a dumb question, receives a slap for their stupid question, then comes back and posts again saying crap which basically boils down to calling us meanie heads. Its almost a sick funny cause I think about how twisted up these silly people get their panties and it just makes me very spitefully overjoyed.

    I also would like to confess that I realized today I have welcomed almost no one new to the board and while I feel bad cause there are def some new posters who have some good input, there is also a high level of drive by/phishing for "omg yur preggo" and its killing my drive to welcome anyone new. I swear I'm not usually this spiteful in general, just incredibly irritated by the constancy of the same old question which is clearly answered in the ttcal blog. 

    I am right there with you.  

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    "'My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,' says the Lord. 'And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.'" Isaiah 55:8-9
    BFP #1 7/4/2010--Natural M/C 8/4/2010
    BFP #2 4/25/2011 Please stick, baby!! EDD 1/1/2012
    Forever Buddy to carrieandtim BabyFruit Ticker
  • Today was my EDD, so it was a rough day.....but my confession is that I'm bumping instead of sleeping that I should be!
  • imageshoefreak85:
    imageIzabella22:

    I think its utterly hilarious when a poster asks a dumb question, receives a slap for their stupid question, then comes back and posts again saying crap which basically boils down to calling us meanie heads. Its almost a sick funny cause I think about how twisted up these silly people get their panties and it just makes me very spitefully overjoyed.

    I also would like to confess that I realized today I have welcomed almost no one new to the board and while I feel bad cause there are def some new posters who have some good input, there is also a high level of drive by/phishing for "omg yur preggo" and its killing my drive to welcome anyone new. I swear I'm not usually this spiteful in general, just incredibly irritated by the constancy of the same old question which is clearly answered in the ttcal blog. 

    I am right there with you.  

    Me too.  I haven't been posting much because (totally selfishly) I just don't have it in me to sift through and see the phishing. 

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  • imagelilmissconni21:
    Today was my EDD, so it was a rough day.....but my confession is that I'm bumping instead of sleeping that I should be!

    I am so sorry.

  • imagelilmissconni21:
    Today was my EDD, so it was a rough day.....but my confession is that I'm bumping instead of sleeping that I should be!

    I am very, very sorry

  • When FIL's wife called me this afternoon to do her maternity photoshoot I almost told her no... I feel horrible about it because it's gonna be DH's little brother and I told them I would do newborn photos but I hadn't planned on doing her maternity photos.. it's so hard to see her belly only a month ahead of where mine should be.. Plus she has been a uber-*** to me and I didn't think she was going to let me do baby BIL's newborn pics..
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  • imageTapatio:
    I went to a consignment store this afternoon. I found a brand new Carter's Baby's 1st Prints kit, a mint-condition "What to Expect: The First Year" book and a gently-used pair of Motherhood Maternity jeans. I spent $10 total! I bought it for my pg sis but now I feel like keeping it for me Embarrassed.

    I say keep them if you feel compelled to do so, I know I would.

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  • I have another one:

    I can no longer post of my LO's board.  Everyone there is KU'd, and while I am truly happy for them, I cannot handle the tickers these days.

  • I am sitting her watching grey's anatomy with the bff and bumping while DH cleans the kitchen even though he went to the grocery store and cooked already. I had a rotten day and getting a pregnancy planner in the mail from my insurance company really did not help at all.

    I am totally on my 2nd glass of moscato and I plan on having a huge piece of the apple pie that just came out of the oven! I hate that I am emotional eater when I have bad days!

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  • ok--i know this is awful, and i feel really bad, but my DH's cousin told us today she was pregnant with her 4th child, and its unexpected (see my post from tonight if you want more details), and all i keep thinking is that its not fair, b/c everything always goes right for them, and never has a hardship, and here we are, just trying to make it through,  its not fair, and i wouldn't wish this on anyone, but come on!  even when she almost lost her twin girls she hasn't changed--God will always take care of them and give them the best b/c they are faithful!

    ok--thanks for letting me get that off my chest! 

    image Robbie's Blog
    DD #1 born 10/21/03

    DD #2 born 2/8/06

    DS no hb 11/17/10 at 21w1d, d&e 11/24,demise due to fetal hydrops, from congestive heart failure, probably caused by structural malformation

    Our Rango....BFP 2/6/11...hb on 2/23...perfectly healthy, but no hb on 6/9/11 d & e 6/15/2011
    Rango's Blog
  • I'm really wanting to yank a knot in a coworker who wants my job.  She's been trying to get symphathy that she needs more money because she has 3 kids and 3 daddies that don't give her enough child support.  FH...seriously.  I hate her. She's been tattleing on me for for stuff I didn't even do. Indifferent I am  totally going to ignore her at the class I teach on Monday....either that or find a way for her true colors to show.

    TTC January 2010
    BFP #1 10-11-10 ectopic discovered 10-22-10, 10-23-10 methotrexate & emergency surgery, lost right tube BFP #2 12-1-10 Found to be tissue dropped from salingectomy or missed heterotopic pregnancy from BFP #1 BFP #3 1-30-11 DS arrived on due date 10-10-11 BFP #4 Surprise 9-3-12 EDD 5-9-13 DS2 arrived 5-5-13 BFP #5 5-14-14 Emergency D&C 6-16-14 9 weeks
  • imagelilmissconni21:
    Today was my EDD, so it was a rough day.....but my confession is that I'm bumping instead of sleeping that I should be!

    (((HUGS)))

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    "'My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,' says the Lord. 'And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.'" Isaiah 55:8-9
    BFP #1 7/4/2010--Natural M/C 8/4/2010
    BFP #2 4/25/2011 Please stick, baby!! EDD 1/1/2012
    Forever Buddy to carrieandtim BabyFruit Ticker
  • I bought these amazing platform stilettos the other day and I think I'm going to take them back. :-(  I used to have the chutzpah to go for it and pull off these kinds of shoes. Now I just look at them and think, who the eff am I kidding? I am so middle aged (not 40 yet, but getting pretty darn close!). 
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