do/did finances affect your baby plans?

redshoegirl · January 2011

I was reading this post on the Nest, which is fairly timely since I'm currently in a bad money mood as our daycare decided to raise their rates for the new year - not by a crippling amount, but when you have two in the infant room it really sucks.

Anyway, my actual discussion points are... Did finances affect when you decided to TTC? Or affect when/if you're planning on having another child?

For us, it's yes to both. Before we decided to TTC, I drew up a projected budget to make sure we could easily afford it. Of course, then we had twins, and not only did that make things more expensive but it cut in on stuff I was expecting to save us money (e.g., breastfeeding vs spending $400 a month on formula).

We don't want a 3rd child, but if we did it would absolutely affect that as well. There's no way we could afford to have 3 kids in daycare. It's tight enough with two, and with three it would be pretty much impossible (but Ben doesn't make enough that I could quit my job - so it would be a Catch 22 situation). We'd also have to buy a new car to get three carseats - or 2 boosters and a carseat - so that would be another big expense. And so on and so forth.

mrspresley · January 2011

i think we're pretty fortunate in that it was not a huge factor. we didn't get married until after i was out of school but if i was still in school i definitely would not have wanted to have kids right away. we need my extra income! we waited several years before having kids and that was a good way to save up a lot of money before she came along. i basically work enough to cover any expenses that Brent's salary does not cover and then stay home as much as I can. if we do have a 2nd baby, i don't think finances will play into the decision of when, though finances may play into how much i work... we will have to sit down and figure out if i need to work more hours or not, though likely not since i don't foresee a lot of huge added expenditures initially and by the time we do have them (i.e. if we send her to preschool or private school for grade school), he should be done w/his training and making more money.

for us, the timing of kids had more to do with (a) having enough "us" time as a married couple to do our own thing first before introducing a LO into the mix (b) where he was in his training program (c) my age

expatjen · January 2011

mrspresley:
i think we're pretty fortunate in that it was not a huge factor.
for us, the timing of kids had more to do with (a) having enough "us" time as a married couple to do our own thing first before introducing a LO into the mix (b) where he was in his training program (c) my age

I'm sort of in the same boat as Jamie. Because we live in India (for better or worse), we're able to not worry about finances. But, if we still lived in the States, it'd be super hard to raise a family and continue our current lifestyle with just 1 income (since I'd want to be a SAHM).

The decision to have kids came down to 2 things for us: 1. Accomplishing most of the things on our "couple to-do" list (traveling, hiking up Kilimanjaro and becoming as solid as we could as a duo before we became a trio). and 2. Our ages... I'm 31 and I'd like to have at least 1 more child before I'm 35.

MauiWedding08 · January 2011

We are fortunate enough to not really worry about it. But if one of us were to become unemployed we would need to reevaluate because we both significantly contribute to the expenses (rather than just one of us being the "bread winner"). Also on the upside, we live in a relatively low COLA (compared to the Seattle metro area). Although, if we lived there we may make more money?? who knows.

It is hard to comprehend how expensive everything when you start multiplying everything.

lola808 · January 2011

By nature, we're savers, so finances haven't yet affected the timing of our baby plans or the number we hope to have. The biggest factor for us, aside from feeling "ready" in our relationship, was the flexibility my current work provides. We only need about 10 hours of child care a week, so A gets lots of one-on-one time with us both. If the current situation continues, we'll probably start trying for #2 so he/she enjoys a similar arrangement. I know it won't last forever, though, and I already feel bummed about that.

lelekay · January 2011

Finances didn't affect us too much, since it's not likely that they will change anytime in the foreseeable future. We both make decent money, and our jobs are pretty stable. We have a decent amount in savings, so there didn't seem to be a lot of financial reasons to wait. Sure, it's expensive to have kids, but that wouldn't change by waiting a few years. Our biggest factor in having kids now was our ages (33 and 39). We want to probably have one more, and it didn't seem like the best idea to wait a while lot longer, then.

SanHawaii08 · January 2011

We're fortunate too, in that finances didn't play a role in our timing. Our timing was mainly based on the fact that we would like to have the second before we get much older.

inamra · January 2011

Actually, when we started, we're were struggling financially but it still didn't affect our baby plans. We live in a very high COL area *and* have a mid-high mortgage on a house in another state (that's way underwater--so we can't sell it...renting helps but still doesn't cover the mortgage), so we were in a small 1-br apt while I was pg and when B was born. But after we had the baby, we changed to better paying jobs (instead of jobs in career fields that we wanted to work in)--we are both fortunate to not have to worry too much about finding/switching jobs--to (1) not worry about finances (2) improve our living situation (3) build some sort of savings. We're still renting, but it's a modest 2br townhome--still small but nicer than the old 1-br.

Married2MrWright · January 2011

They were part of the equation, but our main consideration was my age and also that I had good health benefits (when I was self-employed I was self-insured which meant high premiums, deductibles and co-pays plus no maternity leave).

Of course, we had hoped to be in our own home and have some bills paid off before we started our family, but it just didn't work out that way. We've made it work.

That said, in reading the other thread you linked...I think some people want to totally maintain their lifestyle/style of living while expanding their family and in that way, I do feel it is cost-prohibitive.

For us, we've scaled back big time...no more cable TV, haven't had a real vacation since we were married (mainly just trips back to CA to see family), no more eating out on a regular basis, etc. But we were ready to be "homebodies" anyway so it hasn't felt like a loss or anything. We enjoy homecooked meals at our little, second-hand dining table in our rental home...because it's together...our little family.

redshoegirl · January 2011

Married2MrWright:
That said, in reading the other thread you linked...I think some people want to totally maintain their lifestyle/style of living while expanding their family and in that way, I do feel it is cost-prohibitive. For us, we've scaled back big time...no more cable TV, haven't had a real vacation since we were married (mainly just trips back to CA to see family), no more eating out on a regular basis, etc.

I think this is probably a fair statement...I mean, if I accidentally got pregnant again, we could find a way to make it work. But we don't lead a particularly lavish lifestyle - we don't eat out much (like 1-2 times a month), we don't have big vacations, etc. - and we're just not interested in cutting back any further on our lifestyle. As it is, we can still sock a bit away into savings and not live paycheck to paycheck - if we had a third infant in daycare, I don't think that would be the case.

jaysgirljulie · January 2011

Hmmmm, wonder why my computer won't let me read/click on that link?

Finances were part of the equation for us too but the main thing for us was my age. I was 34 when I had Ryan and we know we want 2, possibly 3. Some could say we should have waited until we were finished with nursing school but by then I'll be 37.5. I know a lot of people have children later than that but I feel that's really pushing it, esp when you are just starting a family. We had no clue if it would be hard for us to get pg or not.

We've actually saved money since Ryan was born. We don't have date nights twice a week anymore that usually cost $100 each (dinner, movies, popcorn, soda, cover charges for clubs, Alcohal, going out clothes, dry cleaning for those clothes...). No more jaunting off on a cruise for the weekend, or Vegas, or much of anywhere else unless we take Ryan with us and we get a free place to stay (my work layovers, use of friends cabins...) Also we have no family or friends that help out with Ryan at all and still have only used a sitter for a max of 4-5 days a month. That along with getting many gifts, buying everything else second hand, breastfeeding (or in my case pumping) for 9 months and using cloth diapers, we have way more money now than we used to!

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