Baby Shower q's

UndecidedChange · January 2011

So originally I had thought that there were two friends (Call them AB) of mine that were going to plan a shower, but they never asked. Cool, I wasn't at all worried. Then two other friends (Call them CD) asked me whether they can throw me a shower, and I was all yay.

They (CD) started asking for names to invite, and are planning the shower tentatively for march.

However, yesterday AB email me to get my calendar out so we can plan the shower (i.e. they want to throw me a shower).

Here are some important deets.

AB will most likely want to throw a super girly shower with games. WHICH I HATE, but last time when B was pregnant, A and I threw her a shower and regardless of the fact that B specifically said no games (and I was all for this) since A was primarily hosting (i was co-host), she pushed the games forward (and decided to not have wine, even if I begged for it and B was fine with). I know, that's a lot to keep track.

CD, I am SURE will have no problem in making a coed Jack and Jill let's have a bbq and hang out and have good food/alcohol no games open presents when ever type of shower, which is what I'd prefer.

AB and CD don't really know each other, I mean, they've been at parties that we've thrown, but that's the extent of it. So asking them to all host one party would be weird no?

So what do you do? Do you have two showers? And how do you separate invitees?

Or do you just tell one group that the other one is hosting the shower (however, I already agreed to CDs, so it would be weird telling them "oh, don't worry about spending money to throw me a shower").

I know many of you have multiple showers, but my family doesn't live here at all, so it's just friends that would come. What do you do?

kerrbear72 · January 2011

Why can't you just tell AB that CD already contacted you and began planning?

TheFaery · January 2011

I'd say your best bet is to tell AB that you love the offer and it means a lot that they'd be willing to do this for you but two other friends offered to throw it already and have already started getting things for it (even if they haven't). You could suggest that AB and yourself go out to dinner or do some baby shopping if you wanted to make sure they weren't upset with not getting to throw the shower.

UndecidedChange · January 2011

Because I have a feeling that AB will be crushed if they don't. They're pretty much my family here. In terms of closeness, AB is definitely closer than CD, even if I love them very much and have been here for me for the past 3 years. For reference, I've known AB for 7 years, I lived with A for 1.5 years type deal. That's why I was certain that she (and would throw me a shower, but I didn't want to ask....

Though you're right, I may be wrong.

KariMichael · January 2011

I'd go with 2 smaller showers. One large one will be very overwhelming for you. Divide your guest list according to the relationship with AB or CD. Let both AB and CD know that there will be two so neither has to feel overwhelmed with a grand plan. Youc an have a small girly one with AB, maybe ask for a theme you can tolerate (home spa like, food tasting... something you could tolerate) then a Jack and Jill one with CD that is more casual, more fun.

JMU_Bride09 · January 2011

When DH and I got married, my bridesmaids offered to throw me a bridal shower, and then a few weeks later, DH's grandma and aunt offered to throw me one as well. I had two showers. We invited all family and bridesmaids to both but did not expect them to bring more than one gift. Then the friends of the family and other friends were split between the two showers. That way, the parties were pretty balanced and no host was more overwhelmed than the other. At first I was worried, but it ended up working out perfectly. If more than one person(s) offers to throw you a shower, go for it! It's not like you are throwing more than one for yourself. I figure that it's something special these girls want to do for you...almost like a gift in itself.

lyndsaynicole · January 2011

The baby shower thing can be tricky...I completely understand. I won't get into my situation, but it's a little complicated as well.

It's like, you don't want to offend AB but CD is already getting planning underway. Maybe AB should've "sh!t or got off the pot" if they were gonna throw you a shower. It's not your fault other people who were ready to go got to it first.

You can always just have the two showers, or you can tell AB thank you very much for the offer but CD is already planning a shower.

hsbbride · January 2011

Tough one. I was facing a similar situation but it appears to have resolved itself.

I think CD get to host the shower since they engaged first. If you would be comfortable, maybe AB could host a "Sip and See" after the baby is born? This way they could be involved as well.

riverbed · January 2011

I have people that don't know each other well all hosting one shower for me. I put one person in charge of e-mailing all the others that offered and then they will plan from there. In fact some are my age and some are my mom's age. This is the way people here uaually do this. Usually two to four actually do the planning and the rest write a check, and help the day of.

Regardless you should be very clear with A that you want no games, and then if B tells you she insists or won't do alcohol have B just show up with it!

Shelly203 · January 2011

With DS, I had two people offer to throw showers...my sister in law, and a friend from work. Since they didn't know each other, and didn't have the same group of friends, it just made sense to do two showers. Sister in law did a mostly family one (DH and I both have big families!) and friends who have been around for so long they have become family. Work friend did a shower with people from work, and all my other friends. It worked out great. There would have been way too many people at one shower, so it was nice. If you opt for two smaller showers, you will be able to enjoy more one on one time with your guests, which is always a plus.