Those with one LO, will that be your only one? Will you try for two?

annies123 · January 2011

I'm 38 and we have an 8-month-old. We are considering having DD be the only LO we'll have. We are concerned about our ages, but also financially two in daycare would be very tight. But a part of me feels like if we can just make it the first few years, we'd be great.

We want her to have a sibling, but maybe we are too rational about it. Maybe we have thought about it too much. She's so healthy and a good baby, and yet, we find ourselves exhausted.

carladillon · January 2011

Our DD is 14 months, and we are TTC #2. I am 39 and DH is 40.

stever · January 2011

I am 37, DS is almost 18 months and DH and I will TTC#2 in a year so that DS will be a bit older if and when we have another newborn around.

BrideBuddies · January 2011

We have one, and since I'm 43, this may be it for us.

But that being said, is there ever really a perfect time financially to add to your family? Something will always come up and you'll never think you have enough money. So don't always let that be your guide.

M.Amy · January 2011

DH and I decided to be one and done for a few reasons:

1. Our DS was unplanned

2. DH is an only child and I WISH I was an only child

3. We feel we really lucked out with such an easy-going child and we don't want to risk having a more challenging behavior-wise child to raise

4. We plan on providing a lot of financial support to our DS - private school, paying for college etc. We would rather not have our resources spread out.

5. We are tired. So very tired.

snwfields · January 2011

We very recently decided to go for #2. DS is 23 months, I'm 38 and DH is 40. We are not financially ready to handle two but really want another, We decided that we would regret it in a few years if we didn't go for it.

erikaja6 · January 2011

I am 39 and DH is 32. We are TTC #2.

robynlesley · January 2011

DH and I also decided to be one and done for a few reasons:

1. Our ages (I'm 40 and DH is 39).

2. Our financial situation (we have around $30K of debt and no equity).

3. Like M.Amy, we also feel that we lucked out with such a happy, outgoing child and don't want to tempt fate.

4. We want to be able to provide for our son (not private school, unfortunately) and we'd like to be able to travel, to retire. If we had a 2nd, we would REALLY struggle.

5. I'm tired and somewhat selfish. I don't want to go through the newborn days again. The sleepless nights.

And to be completely honest, the only temptation for a 2nd child is to have a girl and we can't guarantee we'd have one... so I'm content with my one son.

Peppernut · January 2011

I'll be 43 in February, and as you see in my siggie we're trying for 2.

My parents were in their 40s when they had me and my younger sister, so maybe it doesn't seem as odd to me.

Pesky · January 2011

Eh, you do what feels right for you and your family. For us, we knew we wanted to have another, period full stop. We were exhausted with DD (who was a great baby) and are certainly exhausted now DS (who was a good baby) has joined us. Just part of the game and we know it passes all too quickly. I will say we are leaning towards no #3 but that's for a host of other reasons, primarily because we just feel done, as in our family feels complete. But if we didn't feel done, we'd still go for it. DH has recently been having ovary pangs looking at how old DS is. I am not. We had our first when I was 36.

debbadebbadoo711 · January 2011

We are one and done mainly because I am an only child and I have never wanted more than one child. We feel like a complete family with Charlie.

Our age, my health and our financial situation seal the deal.

It's a personal decision and wish you the best of luck whichever way you go.

Fashiongal1973 · January 2011

I am 37 and DH is 46 we tried for 4 years to get conceive and went through two IUI and one round of invitro. I am diabetic and in the process of conception gained 20lbs from insulin and fertility drugs then had the pg weight on top of that (I have lost it all!)

We talk about another but I don't think I could emotionally handle going through the process again, especially since invitro would be the way we would have to go again. If it didn't work the first time I don't think I could take the disappointment. I have too many friends who have been ttc for years and have spent thousands and thousands with no success. It is an emotional rollercoaster.

On the other hand we have casually discussed adoption. I am an only child and am fine with DS being an only but if we decide for another adoption is the only way we would go.

I have the sweetest most well adjusted happy baby who is very social and slept through the night at about 2 months. What is the chance not getting the demon child the next time? JK!!

lynnshey · January 2011

I'm 39 (almost) and SO is 43. S will be 1 tomorrow and we are TTC #2 right now. We will probably stop at 2 due to our ages and other factors. But a second seems right - SO is one of six kids so he'd love a ton if we could do it. My son T was a single child and I think he missed out a lot by being a single (he might disagree though - lol). Anyways - I hope this helps and GL with whatever decision you make.

itsmexine · January 2011

We are still trying to decide ourselves but we are leaning toward one and done right now. But we may change our mind in month who knows...

SFAug07 · January 2011

I am 39 (almost 40) and we are very newly pregnant with #2. We always wanted two children:

1) We want the kids to play together - I grew up with a sister and it was great

2) We bought our house to fit two children and planned our life around that

3) DD loves babies and the company of other children

YaraC · January 2011

I am 37 (38 next month), DH is 44 and we are trying for #2. I've always wanted more than one child and just never saw myself having only one. The joy I got from DD only reinforced my desire for another. Before DD was born DH wasn't so sure about anymore after her. He already had a son and was a little wary about going through the baby stuff again. But DD has been so much fun and he has enjoyed her so much that he became very eager to go for one more. We do have a deadline though. If it doesn't happen within about 6 months, we will count our blessings and move on.

NewMrs07 · January 2011

I know all the risks of having another baby at 40+ but I personally feel like we are not done. I would like LO to have a sibling since he enjoys other children and is a very social little boy. DH has one brother that he adores. I have 2 brothers that I am not close with unfortunately, in that sense I wish I had a sister. We'd like to have a girl but another boy would be great too. Sure, things could go wrong (God forbid) and we are definitely not financially ready for #2, but I feel that I would regret not having another baby while I can.

That said, we will try naturally starting this month but if I can't get pg within the next year, we are not doing IUI or IVF. The way I see it is, if it's meant to be it's meant to be, if not, then we are happy with just one LO.

mtnrider · January 2011

I hated every minute of pregnancy and the infant years were pretty trying on both of us. But the real reasons we are one and done are that 1. DH is worried about the higher likelihood of problems with the baby given our ages (autism, etc.)(and by the way that is HIS concern not mine); 2. DH says it's hard enough for him to deal with one kid at his age, let alone 2 (again, that's his issue, not mine). Plus we have a small house and would have to move if we had a second child (that's my issue, I love this house and it was the cheapest one in our neighborhood, we could never afford another house in this neighborhood and would have to move to a "worse" neighborhood). Neither DH nor I are close with our siblings, nor do any of our parents have a good relationship with any of their siblings, so having a sibling is no guarantee that S would have a playmate/friend/future relationship with his sibling. We'd rather just spoil S with all of our love and attention...and yes, money is relevant and was a factor in our decision! I respectfully disagree with people who say that there's no good time financially to have kids. That makes no sense, it's not an all or nothing thing, it's a sliding scale...with each subsequent child, your resources drop down. We may decide to put S in private school but we wouldn't be able to afford putting 2 kids in private school and if we did, something else would have to get cut. I'm not saying money should preclude you from having another child if you feel your family is not complete, but I certainly think it's a relevant factor - one of many - in deciding whether to have another one.

vanverth · January 2011

I am 41 and my husband is 47. Michael was a surprise after 10 years of trying and giving up about a year ago. My morning sickness started the day before my 40th birthday. (I thought I was getting an ulcer.) We are done because of what PP have mentioned, the fear of birth defects. Pregnancy was fairly easy for me although we did have a high AFP. I did end up with C-section which I did not want and still have some feelings I could have done something different to prevent it (I am allowed to be irrational).

Piranha54 · January 2011

One and done here. Primarily because I was so blasted sick during the pregnancy - I had a hep-lock so I could get IV fluids as needed, was still throwing up the day before DD was born, etc. Plus it took us almost 2 years to get that BFP, so given our ages, it just doesn't seem likely at all. Plus, I feel lucky that we have many friends around us that have LO's who are close in age, so she'll have friends not siblings.

Want a personalized experience?

Those with one LO, will that be your only one? Will you try for two?

Re: Those with one LO, will that be your only one? Will you try for two?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards