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Insensitivity (long - my style)

kimmiekpkimmiekp member
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

So I was talking to my mother the other day - My sister is in what I consider a "shot-gun wedding".  She has know the guy she's dating for a year. Kept it a secret from my mom up until about six months ago - then got engaged a few months later and announced she'd be getting married in February.  Most of our family live in different areas, so I expressed to her that giving people 3 months (especially with the holidays) to get to Florida for a wedding and to pay for a room at the hotel where she's having the wedding (on the beach) was a hardship.  Especially for me because of some financial difficulties due to loss of employment. I explained to her that she is my sister and of course I'll find a way to be there... but that I had no idea how I'd make it happen.  And that she should consider waiting until next year and give people more time.  She kept saying how she had been waiting a year and that she didn't want to wait anymore.  (I immediately started thinking that she was pregnant but when she bought a dress I knew that was impossible because my sister is a fashionista and wouldn't buy a dress that might not fit in a few months).

Anyway so I had been talking to my mother on the phone and I said... I swear if Megan gets pregnant before me I'll slap her.  My mom was like "Oh I don't think she'd do that"... but I know my sister and she's in an all fire hurry to get married and have a baby (she's 7 years younger than me and her clock isn't ticking that fast).. I don't know what her deal is... But the point is, my mom saw her at New Years and said something to her about holding off before having babies she said, "Let Kimmie have her parade before you go doing it" and my sister got upset... she asked my mom if I had said anything and she told her that I had said that I'd be pissed if she got pregnant before me (and I'm not mad about her telling her that because I would tell that to her face lol - I mean, I'll be happy for her sure, but not selfishly, I think she's rushing things, and selfishly, I've been trying like hell to get pregnant and have a baby and it would be just like her to pop out a healthy happy baby 9 months from now.-- meanwhile I know my mom wants her to wait since this IS all such a rush she's worried that she'll wind up a single mother ... But my sister says "well I guess whatever God wants will happen".  and now I really DO want to slap her!!!!  I pray that she doesn't have to go through a miscarriage to see what this is like... 

I told my mom that I will just have to remind myself that while she might have a baby before me, she'll certainly have her own problems to deal with ... so I'm not going to be jealous... I'm going to wish her the best and pray that all goes well.

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Re: Insensitivity (long - my style)

  • fireflies0306fireflies0306
    i'm sorry you are dealing with the family drama right now...but it sounds like you have a great attitude going into it, better than I would be right now.  I hate seeing people, especially family, making a big mistake that i think will hurt in the long run (like being a single mom).  but you are right, even though she will (hopefully) not have to experience the same hardship/ losses as you, she will have her own basket of problems to deal with.  I hope you have a take home baby soon!!
    image Robbie's Blog
    DD #1 born 10/21/03

    DD #2 born 2/8/06

    DS no hb 11/17/10 at 21w1d, d&e 11/24,demise due to fetal hydrops, from congestive heart failure, probably caused by structural malformation

    Our Rango....BFP 2/6/11...hb on 2/23...perfectly healthy, but no hb on 6/9/11 d & e 6/15/2011
    Rango's Blog
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  • kimmiekpkimmiekp member

    Re-reading it I sound like such a *** lol.  I love my sister.  I just couldn't get my head around why she'd want to throw this wedding together last minute, with a good majority of my family having financial issues all having to fly in from out of state.  If you're that "IN LOVE" what will waiting a little longer hurt?  (You know she recently texted me "I wish I would have waited..."  WTF???)

    So when mom asks her to consider my feelings before rushing off to get pregnant and her response was Whatever God has planned???  I don't "blame" God for me not being able to stay pregnant. And I DO believe God gives you what you ask for, sometimes just to teach you a lesson...So putting it all on God and throwing caution to the wind, not taking responsibility for your actions, not the best idea.

    She just doesn't think things through sometimes, I wish she would consider everything before leaping.  As for my attitude, I need to continue to practice my core belief - Go through life with a kind heart, thinking of others and wishing the best for everyone - and I'll be there for her if things come crashing down... (I truly hope they don't).

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