New to The Bump

How rude!

I know this may sound silly but I have actually come across some "bullies" on this site! It seems to be mothers of more experience. It seems to be that because I am a first time mom-to-be I offend people with my slight lack of wisdom I suppose. I come on here for support and possible help with questions and/or situations I just havent experienced yet (e.g. :baby shower, When is the first kick...). I have been judged and it seems like it turns into a battle of how wrong I am. Has this happened to anyone else in their posts? Can I trust in people on this site for support? Are their still genuine people out there (lol)?
*Mrs.Deloney* imageimageimage Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

Re: How rude!

  • Sucks, eh??

    I got it too, bad enough that I actually felt the need to create a whole new account. It was horrible. I promise not everyone on here are wenches. Some people are really awesome. Unfortunatly it's one of the times when you have to take the good and the bad. My pastors wife tomd me that for the majority, a lot of the women on these sites are just trying to validate themselves. I really hope you meet some great people and get the information you need. If they're hasseling you about terms, there's a bump glossary on the left hand part of your screen under the My board heading. Also, watch out for spelling/grammar Nazi

    Good luck!! 

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  • I know what you mean! I did not have this happen to me, but i saw it happen enough that it made me afraid to ask questions! There do seem to be a lot of great gals on here, but it is hard to ask a question when you are afraid someone is going to chew you out for not reading a boat load of past posts looking for a questions similar to yours!
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  • Thank you for the advice. And I can TOTALY handle it. I was just surprised at some women who claimed their maturity and status. I just didnt know if I was the only one who has experienced these ladies. I will from now on "lurk" as you call it. Thank you for the advice :)
    *Mrs.Deloney* imageimageimage Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Ditto Ambsies.

    Some boards are more tightly knit than others, or there are certain people who have a long history there. some boards have drama and attitude. Some have snark as part of their persona (and as part of their name). Some don't.

    Just as you wouldn't likely barge into a conversation at a cocktail party, it often helps to introduce yourself on a board, and as Ambsies emphasized, lurking is very important to figure out the vibe on the board.

    It's also frustrating for a lot of people to see the gazillionth post about when the first kick is, especially when there are 10 posts in the last page or 2 asking the same thing. So they can take it out on noobs.

    GL

  • It is not silly. I just joined because I wanted to meet other women going through the same things as myself, and because I want support! I was surprised at how many rude comments there were.. I understand what everyone is saying about asking a question over and over.. but I do not always have time to scroll through 4 pages of previous posts.

    You can trust some of us for support!

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  • Oh yeah! I'm just coming over to this site and noticed this post.  I posted what I hoped would help those new mommies in regards to some women on the site pulling on their heart strings.  Some of the responses that I received were thank you's but others were very sarcastic and rude.  It didn't bother me because it's usually the same women that make the comments so I just chuck it up to them being miserable.  There's over 1600 views on their and growing. 

    Their intentions are to bully people and nothing else.  We're all grown and should not allow anyone to bully us 1 of te lessons we will teach our children.  This is a joyful time.  They even went as far to correct my spelling with spelling mistakes of their own.  Just have to smile and wish them well and continue with why you came to the bump in the 1st place.

    H&H 9 months to all!

  • This post just prompted me to post another comment on the 2nd tri. site.  Not looking for trouble, just don't like a bully.  It's a shame our kids our dealing with this in school and we as adults here...
  • Thank you guys who Understand. Im glad there are at least some people on here with good intentions. Its just a shame that they are going against what Im sure these message boards were made for.

    And I agree Im sure it looks annoying to some if they see the same questions pop up. but really now that I think about it, if they are annoyed then they can pass right by my post. Im too excited to share all my "1st" to give a damn what people want to say...Its nice to get the support and share experiences but Ill pass if your only here for judgement.

    But again Im sorry if this has happened to other people too but Im glad to know Im not the only one who has experinced it. This will make me feel much better about telling some of these ladies to "kick rocks!"

    *Mrs.Deloney* imageimageimage Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • If you'd like, go to the second trimester board.  I posted something for those afraid to post and look at the responses....I'm not a newbie in the mommy sense only to the board.  I have a 23, 18 and 15 year old so I'm hear for support and I'm starting over again so a little refresher and to see what some mom's are going through and if I can lend support. 
  • Thank you so much! I mean not just for me but for others who have gone through this. I also responded to the post. Hope to see you in future posts Smile
    *Mrs.Deloney* imageimageimage Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • imageABeatty8:
    Thank you so much! I mean not just for me but for others who have gone through this. I also responded to the post. Hope to see you in future posts Smile

    Oh yes you will and anytime.   I also posted something that stirred up the "meanies" a few days ago.  But I also received thank you's for those who didn't know. Those people will always be around but so will helpful people.  The only difference is the helpful ones get nervous about what the others will say.  That's not me (giving the mommy head slightly down and eyes raised look). I'm here for you guys and we will get through some of this together with the help of our families, doctors and friends. 

  • Ambsies,

    I appreciate your feedback.  I feel this site is for me and anyone else who wants it to be for them.  I dont mind getting flammed at.  I've lurked and then responded and trust me have held my tongue until I didn't want to anymore.  I'm a "newbie" to this site, but a seasoned mother.  Just because you just join a site doesn't mean the older ones rule, just means they were here longer.  It's an open site, no one particular person or group rules.  Everyone can learn from one another.

    But again, I do take what you say as trying to be helpful. But again, I may say some things as others do that someone may not like, my intentions are not to start trouble but to help those that I may.  And I will continue as I see fit.  Entertainment for some, help for others.

  • It's the power of anonymity on the internet.  Just ignore the rude people.  There's a lot of good advice and information to be had, but you have to be careful.  Don't let it get you down!
  • ABeatty8, your post made me laugh so I thought I would reply even though I am late in the game.  Don't think everyone on this site is here to be snarky and b**ch about their life or make everyone else miserable if they don't belong to their clique.  There are some great women on here!  When I first got pregnant the trimester boards were decent resources for information and then a few individuals came on after me and wrecked the boards with "mean girl" (like literally, 12 year old bully) behavior.  That's when I discovered my birth month board.  My recommendation is to check yours out and see what the attitude there is since it will be a smaller group.    Pregnancy is a great time (well, sometimes it is!) and some of these boards are a resource for connecting with other women in your same circumstances.  Good luck!
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  • I got the same thing.. I guess since I'm a newbie they thought they could be rude but yeah makes me not wanna ask anything cuz they'll think "i don't know my body" or "im a brat" so yeah i completely understand
  • i had the same problem and have learned to watch how i ask questions. i even had someone suggest i give up my baby because i lost my job (at christmas)  and am struggling with finances. baby is due in 3 months. i wish you better luck then i have had.
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