Heartbroken and rejoining you for the 3rd time

proudmommy2b · January 2011

We just got back from our first u/s where I should have seen a beautiful 10w2d baby and strong heartbeat. Instead, a fetal sac, yolk sac and possibly a fetal pole. No heartbeat and definitely no where near 10 weeks. We are devastated. This is our 3rd miscarriage, our 2nd blighted ovum. The doctors have no answers for us. They have no idea why I can keep getting pregnant, not carry past 5-7 weeks and why my body still holds it as a viable pregnancy. I haven't even had spotting yet this time. I have had strong symptoms all along. I just don't understand. My family and friends are 6000 miles away and my husband goes to sea next week. I feel completely alone and my heart literally feels broken.

lauren.cus · January 2011

I am so incredibly sorry. It is horrific enough to go through this once but 3 times is just cruel. There is such a great group of women here an I hope we can all offer you the support you need right now. I know how difficult it is to be away from family an even more so at a time like this. If you ever need to talk please feel free to PM me. Together we will all get through this pain. ((hugs))

Fallon621 · January 2011

I am so incredibly sorry for your losses. A woman that posted right before you is going through her 3rd loss right now also. This just breaks my heart and is sometimes discouraging. Sweeties i am sorry that you feel so alone right now but this community of ladies are so supportive and on at all hours. If you need someone to just vent to you can PM me on here or just vent on the board we are here to listen. i hope you can find that here, I know I have.

JNS023 · January 2011

Thoughts and prayers to you. There really are no words to express my sorrow for you and all of the ladies who end up here.

Junebug060609 · January 2011

I just wanted to send you a hug to you as a fellow military wife and as someone who's also experienced a loss. I'm so sorry you've had to experience this once, let alone three times...I truly hope the doctors can find some answers for you.

Please feel free to PM me if you're needing someone to 'talk' to and either can't get in touch with your DH or don't want him to worry about you. Its hard enough having them gone for months on end w/o adding this to it.

proudmommy2b · January 2011

Thank you all for your kind words and support. It means a lot to know I have an outlet here. It's going to be a tough several months...dealing with this and my husband being gone so much. They are preparing for a deployment in Nov which means he will be gone most of the year leading up to it to get the sub ready. I've been lucky enough to not have to deal with much of him not being around as he was in shipyard (kind of like shore duty) for much of the time I have known him. There will be lots of new adjustments coming at us very quickly. This was a hard enough process to go through together. I really don't know how I will do it on my own...

Junebug060609 · January 2011

You have a PM (if I can figure out this new set up, lol)

kimmiekp · January 2011

Having one miscarriage sucks. Having multiples just seems like torture. I can tell you that after my third miscarriage I was able to be ruled as having "recurrent miscarriages" and I was able to be tested and get ultrasounds much sooner and more often.

If it makes you feel any better, which it wont but I'll say it anyway, my sister in law had three miscarriages before she finally gave birth to a beautiful baby girl.

Going through each miscarriage is it's own trauma and the thought of going through it alone I'm sure is terrifying. Please know that there are people here who care and who will be available to talk to you and share this experience with you, so in that respect you will not be alone.

Having been married to a soldier living in strange places with no family around and going through so many of life's trials alone, I totally know what you are talking about. But I can tell you that you'll be amazed at how strong you really are. I'm not sure that saying this is going to make you feel any better or not - you might just feel like smacking me... but I just want you to know that you will eventually see light at the end of the tunnel. And in the meantime use all of your resources to avoid feeling alone and lonely. Thoughts and prayers are with you!!!

proudmommy2b · January 2011

theresat858:
I am so sorry for your losses.
In addition to testing to figure out why this might be happening, can you petition for an earlier u/s in future pregnancies? Many doctors will do them at 6-7 weeks for a woman with a history of m/c...
{{{{hugs}}}}}

We are part of the military healthcare system and they only do an u/s at 18-20 weeks. I tried requesting one early with my second pregnancy and I was told that things weren't done like they were in the civilian world. It really ticked me off. So this time I skipped over the nurses they were making me deal with and begged my doctor for one. She started off by doing bloodwork (which all was normal) and finally agreed to "make up a reason" for an u/s. That was at around 7 weeks. The soonest any of the clinics could get me in was yesterday (just past 10 weeks). It infuriates me but unfortunately I did all that I could. Now that I've had 3 MCs and they are sending me to specialists, I think that will put me at high risk and they will monitor future pregnancies more closely.

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