Parenting after a Loss

Does your DH purposely push your buttons?

Please tell me I'm not alone in this.  My DH loves to mess with me on purpose to get me riled up.  He picks at me and picks at me, then when I finally break and go bananas on him, he gets all upset and defensive like I'm getting mad out of nowhere.  I was home on my lunch break because I had an OB appointment, and he wouldn't stop poking my belly and nagging at me about how I get crumbs everywhere when I eat and countless other annoying things that he knows drives me up the wall.  And when I finally yelled at him to leave me the f alone, he acted all shocked and "Who me?  What did I do?"  Grrr.   
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Re: Does your DH purposely push your buttons?

  • Yes!  You are not alone!!  My DH picks at me all of the time, and then when I finally get angry, he's shocked.  I even warn him, hey dude, you're getting on my nerves, you need to back off, but he still doesn't listen. So then I get angry- and sometimes he just laughs at me and that makes it worse.  My husband likes to pick at me and push my buttons though. He thinks it's great fun.
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  • you're not alone. 

    DH is a very sarcastic guy... but when I've had enough of Mr Jokester I make it clear. Sometimes he'll continue and I think it's to purposefully piss me off. And boy does it. Then he gets the wrath of me because I TOLD him to cut it out. LOL...

    When I was pregnant and majorly emotional, it'd bring me to tears and then he REALLY felt bad.... the a-hole. haha.

     

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  • My ex did this all the time.  I see it happening all around me and you are not alone.  I am sorry you are dealing with this.  Can you have a heart to heart talk with him on how his actions are negative and actully deflating your feelings rather than helpful? Positive reinforcements and respect always come a lot further than negative reinforcements.  Maybe your DH was trying to be funny but does not realize its a big fail.

    I have a personal motto that helped me through the past few years...

    Ask yourself why you have buttons?  If you get rid of them, then no one can push them.

  • yes, more often than I like.  I usually end up in tears before I get angry and then he just says, "I was just trying to be funny." 

    It NEVER is funny.  I know he does it on purpose too.  GRRRRR

  • You are so not alone!  DH does this and it drives me absolutely crazy.  And like the other DH's he acts all shocked an innocent when I end up going crazy on him.  I always ask him what he gets out of pushing my buttons and getting me riled up and his response is always I'm just trying to have some fun.  So, it's fun making and then seeing your wife upset and want to hurt you b/c you keep pushing her buttons.  Wow that seems like great fun.  You'd think he'd learn that after he does this i want nothing to do with him and then he doesn't understand why. 

    We need to come up with a seminar for DH's for the do's and don'ts  of marriage and how to be around us wives.  :)

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  • imagenatoshacooke:

    you're not alone. 

    DH is a very sarcastic guy... but when I've had enough of Mr Jokester I make it clear. Sometimes he'll continue and I think it's to purposefully piss me off. And boy does it. Then he gets the wrath of me because I TOLD him to cut it out. LOL...

    When I was pregnant and majorly emotional, it'd bring me to tears and then he REALLY felt bad.... the a-hole. haha.

     Totaly this...part of what made me fall in love with DH was that he made me laugh soo much. But now he uses it to try to get out of trouble and it just pisses me off even more. Sometimes its funny, but sometimes i wonder if he ses his humor to really express how he feels because he is very pasive Confused

  • Yes but we both pick. He gets in moods and its NONSTOP. However I'm good at putting him in place.


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    BFP #1 - 3/19/09 - M/C  - 4/5/09 6 weeks 2 days
    BFP #2 - 7/1/09 - DD born 3/8/2010
    BFP #3 - 11/1/10 - chemical pregnancy
    BFP #4 - 1/2/11 - DS born 9/8/11
    BFP#5 - 7/13/13 - stick baby stick!  Due 4/24/14

  • Yes, but he usually doesn't do it in a teasing way. He'll come home from work all POed about something and then just start in on me...

    Did you find your car title like I told you to?

    Did you give the dog a bath like I told you to?

    Did you send my mom a disc of pics like I told you to?

    Did you wash my jeans like I told you to?

    I realize those are all pretty simple things, but they're just what I could think of off the top of my head. 

    He'll even start bringing up things that are those things that no one ever really expects you to get to right away, just when you have time, like sorting all the baby clothes and getting all the sizes together etc. And he always has to end every sentence with "like I told you to?"

    I'm sorry DH, but you get squat done when you're home, and if I leave you for a day, you get even less done because you're "so busy with the baby"... yet you expect me to get every little thing done? Then, when he is home and playing with K, and I go to do some of those things, like work on pictures to send his mom, he tells me that I never spend any time with him and why can't I just do it later.

    My youngest sister says that she could write a book on DH, and title it "What not to say"... she has several additions already in mind! 

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  • I think he is actually trying to FLIRT with you. Guys are twisted that way LOL. Not much changes. Its like how when we were kids, the boys were always being mean to the girls. Not because they disliked them but because they liked them. 

     

     

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    9 angels in heaven-3 in my arms and 1 in the NICU                                                                                                                                    
    Mono/di twin girls: Josephine born to heaven and Evangeline born Earthside at 25w

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  • imagePurpleK26:

    Yes, but he usually doesn't do it in a teasing way. He'll come home from work all POed about something and then just start in on me...

    Did you find your car title like I told you to?

    Did you give the dog a bath like I told you to?

    Did you send my mom a disc of pics like I told you to?

    Did you wash my jeans like I told you to?

    I realize those are all pretty simple things, but they're just what I could think of off the top of my head. 

    He'll even start bringing up things that are those things that no one ever really expects you to get to right away, just when you have time, like sorting all the baby clothes and getting all the sizes together etc. And he always has to end every sentence with "like I told you to?"

    I'm sorry DH, but you get squat done when you're home, and if I leave you for a day, you get even less done because you're "so busy with the baby"... yet you expect me to get every little thing done? Then, when he is home and playing with K, and I go to do some of those things, like work on pictures to send his mom, he tells me that I never spend any time with him and why can't I just do it later.

    My youngest sister says that she could write a book on DH, and title it "What not to say"... she has several additions already in mind! 

    Man, I would have no patience for that kind of talk. If my DH ever said "like I told you..." I would explode. Seriously, your DH would not survive in my house. I think that book idea is a good one LOL. 

     

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    9 angels in heaven-3 in my arms and 1 in the NICU                                                                                                                                    
    Mono/di twin girls: Josephine born to heaven and Evangeline born Earthside at 25w

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  • Yes! I hate when he does that and I really want to punch him in the face... Like I hate when he tells me something and then he says "just kidding"... Seriously how old are you? 5? UGH!!!
    BFP #1: 10/17/08 EDD: 6/24/09-missed m/c; d&c on 12/8/08 BFP #2: 11/7/09 EDD: 7/15/10-Cabe born on 7/9/10 BFP #3: 10/7/11 EDD: 6/20/12 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Pregnancy Ticker A Butterfly lies beside us like a sunbeam and for a brief moment, its beauty and glory belong to our world. But then it flies on again. And though we wish it could have stayed we feel so lucky to have seen it. In loving memory of MrsTyson's precious Julia.
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