bummed... (very long vent)

Ooglybear · January 2011

Edited: PERSEC

Cookies for everyone!

Hallil · January 2011

Awesome, I wanted a cookie really bad right now too Wink

I understand some (not all) but some of your frustrations. DH and I live in a very small house right now, and though yes it is a house and yes we own it, we will need more room before the LO gets too big. We don't even have room for a table and chairs, where on earth would a high chair go? Lol. I have bigger wants than our bank account can handle (especially if we are going to build a new house in the spring) so I have been trying to find good deals, even used stuff if possible. My baby probably won't be getting all new top of the line everything just because we're trying to save so much right now. It does take a bit of the fun out of it, but I'm sure I won't care nearly as much once LO is here.

I am also taking some online classes (plus working) and am terrible at motivating myself too. Perhaps sit down with DH and have a big chat about him HELPING to get you doing class stuff, or just helping out more (or working more?) so that there is a little less burden on your shoulders.

Sazhrah · January 2011

I understand. We are on a super tight budget as well. I was trying to figure out ways to do a nursery and do it on a budget. baby will room-in for a while until we finish getting thing situated around the house. I can sew very well and am going to make my own crib bedding to save a ton of money. I can also help you if you like. I can't do much about painting a nursery that is non-existant but I can help you out with at least the bedding.

It took me a lot of talking with DH about job and school and what not. Maybe you can go to school part time for a year as a compromise?

Ooglybear · January 2011

Hallil:
I am also taking some online classes (plus working) and am terrible at motivating myself too. Perhaps sit down with DH and have a big chat about him HELPING to get you doing class stuff, or just helping out more (or working more?) so that there is a little less burden on your shoulders.

He is starting to work FT this month. His boss has been patiently waiting for him to be ready to work fulltime. DH's job is very low stress and he could work from home if need be. Which is great for him.

I have tried to get him to motivate me to do schoolwork in the past. Our personalities and study styles are so vastly different that he doesn't get what I need from him. The ways that he tries to remind me are ineffective and just annoy me (like withholding sex!).

Our evenings are beyond packed right now. We are really involved with our church and with the kids school. I coach a DI team for SD. Both kids do gymnastics, SD does girl scouts, SS does basketball. We have small group/bible study two nights a week. We were just asked to help with the youth ministry another night. DH is very involved with the VFW. We are just plain overbooked. I know that something has gotta give in these areas as well... and that is contributing to the stress.

DH does a majority of the housework Embarrassed so he is definitely carrying the load there.

Ooglybear · January 2011

Sazhrah:
I understand. We are on a super tight budget as well. I was trying to figure out ways to do a nursery and do it on a budget. baby will room-in for a while until we finish getting thing situated around the house. I can sew very well and am going to make my own crib bedding to save a ton of money. I can also help you if you like. I can't do much about painting a nursery that is non-existant but I can help you out with at least the bedding.

It took me a lot of talking with DH about job and school and what not. Maybe you can go to school part time for a year as a compromise?

Yeah, thats probably the best solution. I will admit that part of this is a pride issue. My peers are graduating right now, and I dont want to be "left behind". I have been going to school part time and working full time for years. I feel like I feel like I'll never have a degree to show for myself. (And part of it is total irrational jealousy. DH worked to put his first wife through school. Why not me?)

Sazhrah · January 2011

you have a very full plate going on. maybe everyone can make a bit of a compromise for a while. Only temporarily of course. You can do school part time for a semester after the baby comes. Your other children can cut back just for a short time as well and so can you and dh with the volunteering? Again only for a short time until you get back into the swing of things with a new baby.

Sorry if i seem to be giving too many suggestions. It's the darn gemini in me.

Gwyneddlesliegrace · January 2011

Ooglybear:
Hallil:

I am also taking some online classes (plus working) and am terrible at motivating myself too. Perhaps sit down with DH and have a big chat about him HELPING to get you doing class stuff, or just helping out more (or working more?) so that there is a little less burden on your shoulders.

He is starting to work FT this month. His boss has been patiently waiting for him to be ready to work fulltime. DH's job is very low stress and he could work from home if need be. Which is great for him.

I have tried to get him to motivate me to do schoolwork in the past. Our personalities and study styles are so vastly different that he doesn't get what I need from him. The ways that he tries to remind me are ineffective and just annoy me (like withholding sex!).

Our evenings are beyond packed right now. We are really involved with our church and with the kids school. I coach a DI team for SD. Both kids do gymnastics, SD does girl scouts, SS does basketball. We have small group/bible study two nights a week. We were just asked to help with the youth ministry another night. DH is very involved with the VFW. We are just plain overbooked. I know that something has gotta give in these areas as well... and that is contributing to the stress.

DH does a majority of the housework so he is definitely carrying the load there.

I really feel ya! Mh and I live in a very tiny 2 bdrm apartment and their is NO way we can fit another kid in here, we are already bursting at the seams (I mean reallywe have no room for even a book case at this point. DH works while I stay home with dd. We are going to have to move before this LO comes but will not be buying a house. We are commited to being totally out of debt befor we do.

We just took Dave Ramseys Finacial Peace University through our church and it has literally changed our financial life. I would really encourage you to check it out.

As for the church stuff I am a pastors kid and so know what you are talking about. Maybe you guys need to cut back a little to focus on your family/school. Dh and I dream of going into full time ministry some day, it can be really hard to not be where you really want to be. He actually stepped down as our church worship leader this summer so he can try and finish his degree. So now we are only volunteer youth leaders (which is are passion, and we are working under a GREAT youth pastor).

It sounds like you and your dh need to have a heart to heart. Really sit down and look at your finances and life and come up with a plan. You can do it!

Ooglybear · January 2011

No, I really appreciate the suggestions. It helps my stubborn asss to see the other options. Heck, it has helped just talking about it. This is not the end of the world.

I definitely know that we all need to cut back on things, and we will. Work is my least favorite thing on that list, so of course I jump right to cutting out that! Stick out tongue

Thanks again, I really really appreciate it.

Ooglybear · January 2011

Gwyneddlesliegrace:

I really feel ya! Mh and I live in a very tiny 2 bdrm apartment and their is NO way we can fit another kid in here, we are already bursting at the seams (I mean reallywe have no room for even a book case at this point. DH works while I stay home with dd. We are going to have to move before this LO comes but will not be buying a house. We are commited to being totally out of debt befor we do.

We just took Dave Ramseys Finacial Peace University through our church and it has literally changed our financial life. I would really encourage you to check it out.

As for the church stuff I am a pastors kid and so know what you are talking about. Maybe you guys need to cut back a little to focus on your family/school. Dh and I dream of going into full time ministry some day, it can be really hard to not be where you really want to be. He actually stepped down as our church worship leader this summer so he can try and finish his degree. So now we are only volunteer youth leaders (which is are passion, and we are working under a GREAT youth pastor).

It sounds like you and your dh need to have a heart to heart. Really sit down and look at your finances and life and come up with a plan. You can do it!

Our church does Financial Peace too. We havent taken it yet, but we plan to this year. We need to get on the same page about finances, that is for sure.

For the record its not really about money.We are not really struggling; we are very blessed. We could afford a house, but not in this neighborhood (starts at 300K). We could afford for me to stay home, but we'd have to make some sacrifices (fewer activities for the kids, less eating out, etc). We can afford to spend oodles and oodles of money on baby stuff (and he would let me if I truly pushed the issue), but where would we put everything? And DH is so practical sometimes, for example: "We could spend $400 on a fancy glider OR we can put it into a college savings account."

And your DD is so stinkin' adorable!

Gwyneddlesliegrace · January 2011

Thank you! Its actually her birthday today ::tear::

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